Skin Deep
by Hank's Lady
Summary: Obsessed with the body beautiful, Kyle is turning into a cruel copy of his father. When a witch casts a spell on him to show him there is more to life than good looks, he hunts desperately for someone to love him. His only chance seems to be a lonely vampire, but time is running out and he still hasn't learned his lesson. M/M fantasy love story.
1. Chapter 1

**'Skin Deep' is a fantasy/supernatural crossover between Twilight and Beastly although the location is different and some of the characters will appear unlike their movie counterparts in some ways. This is a slash story, rated for adult scenes. I'm writing from Kyle Kingson's POV throughout.**

**Disclaimer:- None of the Twilight or Beastly characters are mine, I am merely borrowing them for this story. **

CHAPTER ONE

I sat back in the expensive leather chair in Dad's office. He was away scouting, currently in Swindon and consequently I was holding the fort. He knew I would do a good job - he had trained me after all and although I was only twenty, I had an eye for what was going to add to the Kingson coffers. The girl in front of me was not.

"Turn around," I instructed, indicating a turning motion with my finger. I sounded as bored as I felt and the blonde coloured up slightly before giving me a twirl. Her skirt swung around her legs, heels clicking on the tiled floor until she faced me again, pushing her long fringe out of her eyes.

"Let me see your legs."

Her blush deepened and she hesitantly gripped the hem of the skirt and raised it an inch, then another.

"More."

The skirt rose six inches and I drew my eyebrows together and sucked on my bottom lip the same way Dad did.

"You won't get far with thighs like that. I'd suggest at least six months in the gym before anyone will even consider you."

The girl gasped and her eyes filled with something I'd seen a hundred times before - hurt and disappointment.

"Run along now, I have a busy afternoon."

"But, Mr Kingson..."

"You didn't make it." I picked up the papers from the desk which included her photograph and a list of her previous accomplishments, numbering only three. She watched as I reached out and dropped them into the wire waste basket beside the desk and then laced my fingers together over my stomach. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out of it. Then she turned quickly and marched - almost ran - out of the office.

"Next!"

It was a long day. Only one of the girls I saw was in any way close to suitable. She was a brunette, something I didn't really go for, but I knew Dad liked them. Her hair was a dark enough brown to almost look black in a certain light, complimented by eyes the colour of chocolate. Her figure was nice enough - petite with sufficient curves to be womanly without overdoing it. I imagined we could do something with her, even if it was only a few TV ads. Her name was...what was it? I picked up the only sheaf of papers left on the desk and glanced at the top. Lindy. What sort of name was that anyway? Most likely she was a Linda and thought the abbreviation was cute.

I pushed myself away from the desk and stood, taking my suit jacket from the coat stand in the corner. There was no one else left to see and I would have the flat to myself that night. Dad wasn't due home until the next afternoon.

"Catherine!" I bellowed for my PA and she appeared in an instant. Catherine was one of the company's former models, her career ended due to her age. She had just turned twenty-six and had earned the coveted position within the Kingson agency only because of her looks. Her long blonde hair was pinned neatly on top of her head, her perfect body displayed nicely in a blue silk blouse and black pencil skirt.

"Yes, Mr Kingson?"

"I'm leaving now. I take it no one else showed up?"

"No, you've seen everyone. Would you like me to lock up?

"Yes, thank you."

"Did you find anyone suitable?"

"One." I handed her Lindy's paperwork. "I'd like you to get in touch with her tomorrow and arrange a photo shoot."

"Of course." She glanced at the photograph and then back at me. "A brunette?"

"Dad'll be pleased, don't you think?"

"I'm sure he will. Have a good evening, Kyle, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Catherine."

I left the building and walked to the tube station, wondering what to do with myself for the rest of the day. Usually Dad and I would eat together, whether it was in a restaurant or at home. Our housekeeper, Zola, was a star in the kitchen and I decided I would have her make me dinner before she left.

I stepped onto the train and took a seat, glancing around me at the other passengers and grimacing a little as I took in the scruffy, unattractive, overweight dregs of London in their cheap, mismatched clothes and fake jewellery. I couldn't help wondering how any of them would make it through life with so little going for them. I lowered my eyes and stared at the dirty floor, waiting impatiently for the train to pass the next three stations until it reached mine.

As I sat there staring downwards, a pair of feet suddenly came into view, striding slowly from left to right. They were women's feet, wearing five inch wedge heels, the legs covered by thick black stockings or tights. I looked up a little and encountered slim legs and the hem of a black lace skirt. The figure continued to move away along the length of the carriage and by the time my head was completely up she was almost out of sight. I just had time to register a mass of thick blonde hair in a messy bun, some strands falling loose onto the shoulders of a black velvet jacket, before she disappeared from view behind a group of men waiting by the door furthest away from me.

A chill ran down my spine. I'd seen that woman before on many occasions, always passing by or at the periphery of my vision - never face to face. I had noticed a strange tattoo surrounding the outer corner of her right eye and in addition she wore the most hideous makeup. A few times I'd wondered if she knew who I was and was calculating her chances on being accepted by Kingsons for a modelling contract, but I always dismissed that idea. If she knew anything about Dad and me, she'd know she would never get a foot in the door with her looks. Besides, she was too old. She had to be at least twenty-two or three.

I got up as the train approached my station. I knew she hadn't got off at the previous stop, but as the four men alighted a moment before I did, I registered that there was no one else at that end of the carriage - she had mysteriously and completely vanished.

"Fucking dickhead," I muttered to myself as I charged up to street level. I was seeing things. Having to look at all those unattractive creatures that day had made me conjure up another in my head just for good measure. I strode rapidly along Maida Vale towards the mansion flat I shared with Dad, trying to swallow the unnerving feeling that the woman wasn't part of my imagination, but that she wasn't real either. Where had she come from? The first time I'd seen her was...

_"Dad, who's that lady?" I was four years old, sitting in bed holding a glass of warm milk before preparing to go to sleep. My nanny had been reading a bedtime story to me and Dad interrupted the tale to say goodnight. Margaret slipped out of the room to leave us alone._

_"What do you mean, Kyle? It's Margaret."_

_"No, the other one. The one with yellow hair." I looked towards the far corner of the room where my favourite toy dog sat in the rocking chair, but she was gone. She always disappeared when I looked right at her._

_"I think you're overtired, son, there's no one here." Dad ruffled my hair a little too hard, not noticing when I flinched in discomfort. "Get some sleep."_

"Oh, fuck," I muttered, letting myself into the building. She wasn't one of the usual hopefuls, or even someone who had simply taken a liking to me and followed me around. She was...what she was, I couldn't explain. She wasn't real...couldn't be real. I'd probably seen the freak when I was a kid and been scared of her, then for some reason brought her to life in my mind every now and then.

Once again I pushed the image in my head aside and walked into the kitchen, helping myself to a beer from the fridge. Zola was polishing the oven and she looked up at me briefly.

"Hello, Kyle."

"What's for dinner?" I answered, not bothering with a greeting. I never wasted words on the staff and nor did Dad.

"What would you like?"

"Steak," I said. "Rare, with that sauce you make."

"Peppercorn?"

"Yes. Hurry up, please, I'm starving."

I took my beer into the living room and switched on the sixty inch wall-mounted plasma TV. I kicked off my shoes, tossed my jacket onto one end of the leather sofa and loosened my tie. Pulling my mobile phone out of my pocket, I began scrolling through the contacts as I sat down, wondering who to spend my evening with. My girlfriend had dumped me a few days ago for some reason I still couldn't fathom. The words 'self-obsessed' and 'cruel' had come into the conversation, but I didn't consider how either applied to myself - well, perhaps the first one did a little. I knew I was attractive. I had been blessed with good looks - blond hair and grey eyes, chiselled jaw and angular cheekbones. I worked hard on my body too, using the gym equipment Dad had installed on an almost daily basis and when I looked in the mirror, I liked what I saw. If that bitch couldn't handle the fact that I took care of myself, than she wasn't worth my time anyway.

I sent a text to my friend Terry, asking him to meet me in a bar we often frequented. Usually we would go out as a group with our girlfriends, but as mine had seen fit to end things, I supposed he and I could hang out and share a few beers instead.

'Can't. Seeing Rachel,' came the answer a minute later and I swore at the phone before tossing it onto the cushion beside me. So it was like that, was it? Terry would put his girl before his mate. I scowled at the TV, flicking through the channels impatiently and finding nothing of interest. I would just have to go out alone. I could work on finding myself a new girl, although that was always a difficult task. Usually when I found one that looked even halfway decent, she turned out to be brainless and dizzy, or she would open her mouth and speak with an accent that made me shudder. I sighed and gulped some of my beer. I supposed it was worth a try at least.

After dinner I showered and changed into designer trousers and a new shirt, used the hairdryer until my hair looked exactly as I wanted and added a liberal splash of aftershave. Zola had gone home and I locked up as I left, deciding to head for Home House, the exclusive club where both Dad and I were members. There would be more chance of finding a decent class of girl in there than most other places.

I was welcomed at the door by one of the security guys who recognised me and then I made my way to the Bison Bar where I stayed for the next hour. I drank two more beers, constantly glancing around me looking for potential company, but I was out of luck. I spotted a few stars including Tom Jones, and several business people I didn't know. A group of girls, all of whom looked vaguely familiar, sat in a corner sharing a bottle of wine. I considered each carefully, but found something I didn't like about all of them, whether it was hair colour, chest size or style of dress. I turned away with a sigh and cast my eyes in the other direction. Tom Jones and his party were moving out of the bar, taking their drinks with them. Another figure appeared behind them and as they headed through the glass doors into the restaurant, she turned my way.

I choked on my beer and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. It was her again. Her hair was loose now, flowing down her back and she was wearing a long black dress and flat shoes. I slid off the bar stool I had been sitting on and strode after her, my pulse quickening. I was going to find out who she was, once and for all. These strange appearances were beginning to get under my skin and I needed to put my mind at rest.

She was making for the door and I hurried, almost running until I reached the street and looked left and right. She was gone and I turned to the doorman who was watching me curiously.

"Leaving already?"

"Did you see that blonde a second ago? Which way did she go?"

He frowned at me. "Which blonde? You mean the one with John Terry?"

"Who?" I demanded impatiently.

"The Chelsea player."

"No," I snapped. "The blonde on her own - long hair, black dress, weird looking."

The doorman shrugged, his face puzzled. "I haven't seen her."

I walked away from him, feeling the hair rising on the back of my neck. What the hell was happening to me? Who _was_ she?

I wandered the streets for a while, not wanting to return home right away. I was convinced that the blonde woman would still be around somewhere, perhaps lying in wait for me. I refused to let myself consider the possibilities – the sudden appearances and disappearances, the fact that I'd been seeing her at odd intervals over the years and lately, more and more frequently. What was happening to me? Too much stress? I laughed inwardly. My life was probably the least stressful of anyone I knew. I didn't have to worry about bills, or the roof over my head, university or job applications. I did exactly what I wanted, all the time, with only guidance from my father when it related to the business.

I moved to the edge of the footpath and extended my arm to summon an approaching taxi, deciding to go home, get an early night and forget about it all. My evening had been a waste of my time anyway. I probably should have gone somewhere more lively than Home House, surrounding myself by crowds and noise to blot everything else out._  
_

I let myself back into the flat fifteen minutes later and went to my room, not bothering to switch on any lights. I left my clothes on the floor where they fell, knowing that Zola would pick them up and deal with them in the morning. Then I slid into my large bed and relaxed against the pillows. I was more tired than I realised and it seemed only minutes before my eyes were too heavy to stay open. I let myself drift and eventually dream.

"Kyle."

The voice speaking my name was soft and slightly nasel and I looked around for the owner, my eyes straining in the darkness. Eventually the dim light from outside the window helped me see enough to notice that the old rocking chair in the corner that I'd never seen fit to get rid of, was now occupied.

"What are you doing here?" I heard myself ask and I licked dry lips. She didn't move or slip away out of sight. She continued to sit there, as solid as I was myself.

"I've been watching you, Kyle."

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded. It was easy to be brave in a dream.

"You know who I am. Inside, you know. I want you to listen to me." She rose from the chair and moved towards the bed, seating herself on the end of it and I pulled myself upright, scooting back against the wall.

"What do you want?"

"I want to help you. Your father used to be very different to what he is now. A long time ago he was a young, sweet boy, non-judgemental, caring...but he changed. He lost someone very close to him and he became the man you've known for most of your life. He won't change now, it's too late, but it's not too late for you. You're becoming your father's son - an unfeeling, cruel boy, pulling the wings off flies..."

"I'm not a kid!" I snapped. My heart was racing, palms sweating and none of what was happening made sense to me. It was one hell of a dream, probably prompted by her appearances during the day, but even the fact that I thought I was dreaming didn't seem...right.

"You're not dreaming, Kyle."

"No, of course not. I'm just sitting here in the middle of the night talking to some mind-reading freak!"

"Your father's son...to a tee. What I said was a metaphor. You care for no one, hurt the people around you because you think it's normal, ride roughshod over everyone for your own gain, but what do you have, really? What does your father have? Both of you are alone. Your girlfriend - did she love you? Did you love her, or was she just a trophy to display? The women you turned down today - don't you think they had feelings? Don't you think the way you rejected them would have taken away some of their confidence?"

"This is bullshit," I muttered. "Dad and I have a business to run..."

"There's a right way and a wrong way to do everything. Look at me...you think of me as a freak, someone hideous because of this tattoo..." She touched her face lightly. "...and because of the makeup and the way I dress? You think things like this are important, but have you looked at yourself lately, Kyle? Really looked at yourself? I don't just mean in the mirror when you're blow-drying your hair or shaving, telling yourself how perfect you are. Have you looked inside? Beauty is only skin deep. What would you have if that were taken away?"

"Who _are_ you?" I demanded again. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I've told you, you know who I am. Look at me properly. Have you never seen a photograph of me? Not even when you were a very little boy? My name is Kendra."

I sucked my breath in hard and held it as I took in her wild blonde hair and grey eyes - the same colouring that I had myself. Dad was dark-haired and with blue eyes, our only similarities being the shape of our noses and jaws. He had spoken her name once when I was almost too young to remember and then cursed her for leaving him and destroying his life. He had called her every name he could think of, including 'witch'.

_"You're_ my mother?" I breathed.

"Yes."

"He said you left him."

"I couldn't help it. It was easier for him to be angry than to give in to the hurt. This isn't about him, Kyle. I've watched you over the years, gradually growing more and more like him. You're becoming him and it's going to destroy your life the way it has his."

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"I want you to be happy, that's all. I want you to be the sweet, loving human being I know you can be. You're following a path that you think is right for you, but it's only going to lead you to regret and sadness. I've tried to steer you in another direction. Others have crossed your path and tried to change you..."

"Dad called you a witch." The words blurted out of my mouth and she merely smiled. I was still struggling to convince myself that it wasn't real and that I was fast asleep in bed, conjuring up the whole conversation after she'd stalked me on the tube and in the club.

"Once upon a time your father loved what I was." She rose to her feet suddenly and backed towards the door. "I've talked enough. When you wake up you'll remember this conversation. Remember that I tried other methods and that this is a last resort. When you look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. I told you that beauty is skin deep. You must rediscover your inner beauty and find someone to love you for the person you are. You have until the day you turn twenty-one and if you haven't learned by then what's important, it'll be too late."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I cried as she stepped out of the door.

"You'll see. Remember that I love you, Kyle, and I'm only doing this for your own good. Three little words is all it will take to turn things around."

"Kendra!" I threw myself off the bed and ran to the door, my legs shaking and almost giving way as I switched on the light and realised she had gone. I leaned against the wall, gasping for breath, brushing damp hair away from my face. It was a dream - it had to be a dream, I repeatedly told myself as I returned to bed a minute later. Things like this just didn't happen. How could she be my mother? What was she? A ghost?

I lay down and pulled the sheet over me, trying to calm my hammering heart and going over the bizarre conversation in my head. She had tried to steer me in another direction? Others tried to change me?

_"Kyle, why do you have to be so mean all the time? Can't you enjoy yourself without upsetting people, just once? How is hurting someone's feelings funny?" _That was one of the things Simone had said to me over the past six months. She had broken up with me because I was 'cruel', 'self-obsessed' and I 'prided myself on making people feel inferior'.

"Wake up, Kyle, for fuck's sake," I muttered. I tried pinching my arm with finger and thumb and it hurt - it fucking hurt and I knew there would be a bruise. I couldn't pass any of this off as a dream or fantasy. It happened and whatever she meant by her last statement was undoubtedly real as well.

I rubbed a hand over my face and it came away damp. I was sweating like a pig and I doubted I would relax enough to sleep. I tried closing my eyes and taking deep breaths regardless and somehow I did calm down and I did sleep. I slept more deeply than I had in a long time and when I woke to daylight, I was refreshed and ready to start another day. I threw back the bed covers, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I wandered into my bathroom and turned to face the mirror.

The person looking back at me wasn't me. Something had happened to me - something hideous and unexplainable and I told myself that this time I really was dreaming. It wasn't possible that I could look like..._that. _Again my heart banged frantically against my ribs and I began to pant for breath, closing my eyes and rubbing the lids hard before I took another look in the mirror. Nothing had changed. I was still the repulsive mutant I had seen seconds before.

The worst thing was...actually there was no worst thing. None of it could get any worse. My hair was gone - every single whisker. I was a skinhead and my scalp, face and neck looked as if I'd been the victim of a horrible accident. No, not an accident - a serial killer whose weapon of choice was a knife. My flesh was scarred with deep cuts, I had two staples across the bridge of my nose and the tattoo...

_"Tattoos are hideous, they make you look cheap. Don't even think about it,"_ I had told Simone one day when she looked at a picture of a tattooed girl in a magazine and expressed the desire to get a butterfly on her shoulder.

I had a tattoo. Not a butterfly, or a little flowery decoration around my eye like Kendra - _my mother _- but a huge thing spread around my torso, my neck and arms. It looked like a tree with many branches, winding itself around my body like an irremovable vine.

"What the hell have you done to me?" I shouted, my voice echoing around the tiled bathroom. "Kendra!"

There was no answer and I charged out of the room and into the living room, still naked. "Where are you? What kind of mother are you, to do this to me? Do you think turning me into this _freak_ is going to make me a nice person, huh?"

_"Remember that I tried other methods and that this is a last resort. When you look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. I told you that beauty is skin deep. You must rediscover your inner beauty and find someone to love you for the person you are. You have until the day you turn twenty-one and if you haven't learned by then what's important, it'll be too late."_

She didn't return, but I heard her words in my head as clearly as I had during the night. It hadn't been a dream. It was real and I was a monster. How in the hell was I going to find anyone to even look twice at me? I had nine months until my twenty-first birthday. How would anyone want to look at me long enough to see anything that might be underneath? Beauty might be skin deep, but as I continued to stare at myself, I began to wonder if it was all I'd really had.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

I went back to bed and hid myself under the covers. What the hell was I going to do? If it was real - and it most definitely was - I had to face nine months like this unless I could find someone who loved me and if not, I would be stuck behind the hideous mask forever. I pulled the sheet tighter over my head as I heard Zola let herself into the flat, my heart pounding in panic. She would probably think I had gone to work and wouldn't bother me, except...she always cleaned my room. Work!

"Shit," I muttered. I had asked Catherine to arrange a shoot for the new girl, Lindy, for that day. I reached for my phone and tapped out a text to Catherine, telling her I had been taken ill over night. She should arrange the shoot for the next day instead when Dad would be back at the agency. Catherine responded with concern and told me not to worry, they would cope. Not to worry? That was easy to say.

"You bitch, Kendra," I cursed quietly and then cringed a little. She was my mother and even though she was the cause of my current dilemma, I felt guilty for calling her names. Wasn't that what Dad had done? Dad! He loved me, I thought. Presumably he loved me since I was his son, although he had never said so as far as I could remember. Would that count, if he said 'I love you' to me? Kendra hadn't specified whether it should be someone new or not.

"Kyle?" Zola's voice came from outside the door and she tapped lightly on the wood. "Still in bed? Are you wanting breakfast?"

"No!" I bellowed. I broke out in a sweat at the thought of the housekeeper seeing me. She wouldn't understand and would probably run away screaming before handing in her notice to Dad. She was the ninth housekeeper we'd had in two years, the only one who had been able to do a good enough job. I revised that thought as I considered it. She was the only one who had been able to put up with Dad and me for more than a few months. "I'm sick!" I called out.

"Shall I bring you something?"

"No!"

There was silence then, until I heard the vacuum cleaner start up in another part of the flat and I heaved a sigh of relief. Now I just had to wait for her to leave and for Dad to come home and maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.

By the time Zola left, calling through the door that she had made me a meal and left it in the fridge for me to heat up if I wanted, I was starving and fractious. I pulled on a tracksuit, covering my head as much as I could with the hood even though the flat was now empty. I wolfed down the food without bothering to reheat it and then raided the cake box in which Zola had placed a freshly baked lemon cake. Then I went to sit in the living room and wait for Dad to return. He had sent me a text an hour ago to say he was wouldn't be much longer.

I got up after a moment and closed the thick curtains, plunging the room into near darkness. The time crawled by as I waited in silence and then eventually I heard Dad opening the door and my heart began to pound. I dreaded him seeing me. He was like me. I might be his son, but he would be repulsed by the sight of me. I ducked my head as the door opened.

"Kyle? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

I sensed rather than saw him reach for the light switch.

"Don't!" I exclaimed. "I...I have a headache."

"Have you had some aspirin?"

"Uh...yeah," I lied. "How was Swindon?"

"A waste of time. I only found two."

"Dad..." I paused and licked my lips.

"Spit it out, I'm tired and I need a shower."

"Do you...I mean...I'm...I'm your son, right? So is that...the reason you love me?"

"Of course. Kyle, what is the matter with you? Have you taken something?" The light flashed on and flooded the room.

I blinked, temporarily blinded and covered my face with my hands, but not quick enough. Dad was standing in front of me and I didn't have to raise my head to know there was a look of utter horror on his face.

"What the hell have you done to yourself?" he demanded.

"I didn't do this!"

"No? You just woke up like that?"

"Yes!" Now I did look up and then pulled myself to my feet, feeling at a disadvantage. The hood slipped from my head and Dad's horrified expression shifted towards revulsion. I didn't miss the way he took a step backwards.

"What the...? Are those tattoos? Good God, Kyle! Why would you do something like this?"

"I didn't do it!" I repeated, clenching my fists at my sides. "Try asking my witch of a mother what happened!"

"Kendra? She died when you were barely out of nappies, you know that." His voice sounded uncertain and the colour had leaked out of his face, leaving him almost grey.

"Well, apparently she's not dead enough. I can't explain it. I've been seeing her following me around for some time. I didn't know who she was, but I remembered I'd seen her sitting in my room when I was a kid and you told me there was no one there. She said I was too obsessed with appearance, like you. I'm apparently cruel inside and she wanted to teach me a lesson."

"I can't believe she'd do something like this to me," Dad mumbled, taking another step away and staring at the floor.

"You?" I gasped. "She did it to me, Dad, look at me!"

He glanced at me awkwardly. "I'm sure we can fix this. I'll take you to a surgeon..."

"I'm not sure if that would work. Wait...you believe this, don't you?" My mind was racing. He hadn't once questioned the fact that his dead wife had cast a spell on me to turn me into...what I was now. My Dad, who didn't believe anything that wasn't a proven, scientific fact, believed what I told him.

"She said something about drastic measures...before it's too late..." he said, almost to himself.

"You _knew_ this would happen?" I exclaimed.

"Of course I didn't."

"But you've seen her, haven't you? Drastic measures? What was that about? Tell me!"

"It's not important. What's important is that we do something about...that. Is it...anywhere else?"

"The tattoos are all over me down to my waist."

"Perhaps laser treatment..." He wasn't focused on me, I realised, but was deep in thought and I wanted to shake him, punch him, anything to make him pay attention to me. "Did she say why? I mean...what were her exact words?"

"Remember that I tried other methods and that this is a last resort. You must rediscover your inner beauty and find someone to love you for the person you are," I remembered.

"She was a very loving person," he said distractedly. "I loved her, you know? It probably didn't sound like it, the way I told you about her. I was just angry that she died and left me."

"What about me?" I asked, hoping that he would respond by saying those words.

"What about you? I'll arrange for you to see a specialist as soon as possible to find out what can be done."

My heart sank. Dad was only concerned about what people would think of him for having a hideous son. He didn't love me and if he did, he had no intention of saying it. Perhaps even if he had said the words, it wouldn't make any difference. It had been a small hope, but I knew inside that Kendra had meant I should find someone new to love me - someone who could see past what I looked like.

Dad was true to his word. He avoided me for the rest of the evening, but the next day he arranged an appointment for me with a surgeon he knew. It was for two days' time and in the meantime he went to work, giving me strict instructions not to step outdoors. I continued to hide from Zola, staying in my room until she left in the afternoon, alternately cursing Kendra and begging her to come back and relieve me of the spell. I didn't see her and the day of the appointment came all too quickly. I covered myself up with a hoodie the way I had before and added the dark glasses Dad pushed into my hand before we went outside to the car. I walked with my head down and huddled in the back seat behind darkened windows, neither of us speaking.

Later, Dad didn't watch when the surgeon instructed me to strip to the waist so that he could examine me. I waited fearfully as he peered at me, concentrating mostly on my face and head which were the worst, muttering and shaking his head.

"Well?" Dad prompted. "You can fix this, can't you?"

'This.' Not 'my son', but 'this'.

"Tattoos can be removed with laser surgery, but I have to say that these are so extensive that it would take many hours of painful treatment and cost thousands of pounds."

"I don't care about the cost," Dad said at once.

"Kyle would be left with some scarring and as for his face...I've never seen anything like this before. I don't think surgery would be a good idea."

"I'll pay, whatever it costs."

I glared at Dad. "And the hell with what it does to me, right? So long as I don't look like this any more. You don't really give a shit about me, do you?"

"Enough!" He glanced apologetically at the surgeon. "Please...can you do it, or not?"

"Perhaps, but I'm not willing to. I think you'd be putting Kyle at too much risk."

"Then I'm not having it done," I said. "Would you seriously have me go through 'many hours of painful treatment', maybe not even make it, rather than look like this? Actually, don't answer that, Dad." I turned away bitterly and pulled my hood up as I walked out of the room. He really didn't care. He saw me as a replica of himself until this happened and now he could hardly bear to look at me.

Rather than wait for him to join me and return home in the car, I strode away down the street, my head down, hoping that the people I passed were too busy with their own errands to look at me. I made my way to the nearest tube station and travelled towards home, risking a glance up every now and then and noticing a few fellow passengers staring, averting their eyes when I caught them looking. This was what it would be like, I thought. A life of hiding, of people staring and whispering, thinking I was a freak. The solution seemed too impossible to be feasible. Who could ever love me like this?

When I arrived at the flat, Zola was cleaning the kitchen and at last I had to face her. I had to choose between staying out for two more hours until she left, or let her see me and the first option was more difficult than the second. Besides, she was only the housekeeper - it didn't matter what she thought.

"Kyle!" Her eyes widened when I took the dark glasses off and pushed the hood down. "What happened to you?"

"Attractive, isn't it?" I said sarcastically. "I thought I'd try a new look."

"You did...all that?"

"What do you think? Of course I didn't do this! I fell victim to an ugly spell."

"Who did this to you?" Zola asked quietly. She looked completely unsurprised and my sarcasm evaporated.

"My mother. She was a witch. Apparently she thinks I'm turning into my Dad, too cruel for my own good. Do you think that's true?"

"I can see why she would get that impression. What's the solution?"

"I have to find someone to love me. That's laughable. Who would even want to look at...this?"

"Kyle, not everyone is like you and your father. Beauty is skin deep, you know. People look for love in many places. It's what's inside that counts. If you try to become a different person - a nicer person - who's to say it won't happen?"

"You believe all of this mumbo jumbo, don't you?" I queried.

"Of course. Many types of magic and charms are practised in the Caribbean islands."

"Where are you from again?" I frowned.

"Jamaica. You'd know this if you listened. That's a good place to start, Kyle. Listen to what people say. If you want someone to care for you, _listen _to her. Ask her about herself and pay attention."

"That might be valid if I could get close enough to someone to talk to them."

"Have you tried?"

"No."

"Maybe you should." Zola turned away and went back to her cleaning and I went to my room. I'd always been dismissive of the housekeeper and now she had surprised me. She hadn't turned a hair when she saw my face and maybe she could help steer me in the right direction.

I didn't venture out of the flat again for two weeks. I couldn't face it, despite continuing talking to Zola. I practised what she had suggested - I listened to her. I asked her about her family, her history, her country, what she knew of witchcraft and I hung onto every word. She was a nice woman, I realised. A caring woman whom I had overlooked because she was only the housekeeper. She repeatedly tried to encourage me to go out, but I wouldn't and just when I decided on a short excursion after dark, Dad gave me some upsetting news which made me think there was no point in me trying to find someone to love me when my own father didn't care.

"We're moving."

"What? Where?" I frowned. "I thought you liked it here."

"I do, but I've been thinking about getting another place for a while. I bought one of those new flats they've been advertising in Barking."

"Barking? That's miles away!" I exclaimed. "Why would you want to live there?"

"Well...you're twenty years old, Kyle, I thought you'd like your own place."

"Wait...you said 'we're moving', but what you actually mean is, _I'm_ moving. You're throwing me out?" I said incredulously.

"Of course not, I just thought you would like your own space. Only a few weeks ago you were complaining that you and your girlfriend never got any privacy."

"My girlfriend dumped me!" I exclaimed. "I'm hardly going to find another one looking like this, am I? That's it, isn't it? You don't want me around any more because you can't bring your acquaintances back for dinner while your hideous son is here!"

"It's not like that, Kyle. We'll see each other all the time," Dad said, his expression belying his words. "You'll have Zola too. You seem to get along well with her now. I'll hire a new housekeeper for this place."

"It's exactly like that," I muttered. "Don't worry, I'll go. If my own father doesn't want me around, I won't force you to endure it." I slammed into my bedroom before he could answer and hauled the suitcase out from under the bed. As I began to shove clothes into it, tears stung my eyes and I realised it was the first time since this happened that I had shed a tear. Somehow I had resigned myself to my predicament, but Dad's rejection hurt.

An hour later, I was ready to leave. I didn't have many personal items that meant anything to me. Most of it was fancy clothes, watches, toiletries and my music. Everything was material and it was becoming less and less important to me. What good was a Gucci suit or a Rolex watch when I couldn't set foot outside without drawing gasps of horror from anyone who saw me?

I had a taxi take me to the new flat. Dad offered to drive me, but I refused. There seemed no point spending any more time in his company when I knew he was only counting off the minutes until he was free of me. I rode in the back of the car with my head down and one of the many new hoodies I had bought online covering my head. When I let myself into the new building and unlocked my door, I found the flat furnished in Dad's style - minimalist, all leather and chrome - and I immediately hated it. It symbolised him, but he was never going to be there with me.

I dumped my case in the corner of the room along with the two large bags containing my laptop and other bits and pieces and took a quick look around the other rooms. The kitchen was well stocked and a meal waited for me in the fridge. A familiar plastic container sat on the worktop with a chocolate cake inside. Zola had been here already and I wondered how long she had known I was to be banished. I couldn't blame her for not telling me. Dad probably would have told her to keep her mouth shut and she couldn't afford to lose her job.

The next day I asked Zola about it and she told me that Dad had only informed her about the new flat the day before and the fact that she would work here from now on. She had been instructed not to tell me just as I expected and now she apologised for it.

"It doesn't matter," I sighed. "It really doesn't surprise me. He can't even look at me."

"Things will get better," Zola said. "Your father does love you."

"Does he?"

"How could he not? He's your father. But you can make things better for yourself. You need to do what your mother told you. I know you think it's impossible, but you haven't tried yet."

"I've had enough rejection."

"There is someone out there for you, Kyle, you just need to find them," Zola said. "Try."

Eventually I did try although it took another three weeks. During that time I heard from Dad only twice - first to check I had settled into the new flat and the second to inform me that everyone at work had been told I had decided on a career change and that Dad was supporting it. Catherine had moved into a new position in the company so that she would still have a job.

I was shocked that I had been ousted so quickly and efficiently from every aspect of Dad's life. He seemed to care nothing for me at all and merely tried to buy my acceptance of the situation by sending me various gifts - a brand new computer, a gold credit card, a motorcycle which was something I'd wanted for years, but now didn't seem important. When I looked at it all I could see was the revulsion on Dad's face when he saw me.

I went to the park, dressed in a tracksuit as usual, the hood up, but without dark glasses. It was a dreary day with a light rain falling and few people were out, running or walking dogs. Each time I passed someone I glanced at them to see if they had noticed me. Some were in a world of their own and didn't appear to see me, but others looked and then looked again, mouths opening in shock, eyes widening. One or two even side-stepped off the path in their efforts to pass without getting too close and I realised that it was hopeless. I would never be able to get close enough to anyone if they couldn't even look at me.

I sat down on a damp bench and hung my head. I had less than eight months, but there seemed no point in the deadline because I wasn't going to find someone to break the spell.

"Where are you, Kendra?" I whispered. "I learned my lesson. I know what it's like now, to be ugly. I'm not the same person any more. Please..."

"You haven't learned a thing." Her voice came quietly in my ear and I turned quickly and looked up at her. She had a soft smile on her face and was wearing a similar outfit to me - a hoodie and jeans.

"I have!" I insisted. "I'm nicer. I'm trying. I talk to Zola. Dad threw me out, did you know that?"

"Yes, I know. You'll do better away from him. You will find someone, Kyle, you just need to look." She turned and walked away swiftly across the damp grass and into a small group of trees and I cursed in frustration. It had been a fragile hope that she might take pity on me and undo the spell.

I sat there for a while longer and just as I was about to get up and go home, a small dog scampered towards me, yapping loudly. It was white and fluffy, a pink studded colour around its neck with a bone-shaped name tag dangling beneath its chin.

"Go away," I grumbled.

The animal came closer, dancing from side to side in an effort to get my attention and I looked around for its owner. In the distance I could see a girl in a running outfit heading toward me.

"I'm so sorry!" she called as she drew closer. "He doesn't usually run off like that."

I leaned down quickly and caught the dog's collar, stroking his head with the other hand. Maybe this was my chance. "It's alright, he's a cute little guy," I said. "What's his name?"

"It's Midge." Lycra clad legs stopped in front of me and I raised my head, realising she was the model I had chosen when Dad had been in Swindon a few weeks before. I remembered her name now, when I hadn't been able to during her appointment.

"It's Lindy, isn't it?"

"Yes, how did you know my...?" Her eyes landed on my face and widened in shock, her mouth forming a round, silent 'oh'.

"I...uh...I know someone who works at...Kingsons," I said.

"Really? Ok. Well...um...I should be going. Come here, Midge."

I released the dog and she backed away, stooping quickly to snap a lead onto the collar. "Perhaps you'd...like some company?" I asked doubtfully. Her expression was enough to tell me what she was thinking, but I wanted to at least try.

"I'm sorry, I don't know you. I have to be going." She picked up the dog and began to walk off, her feet moving rapidly. A couple of times she glanced over her shoulder as if to check that I wasn't following and I slumped back on the bench with a groan. I supposed I only had myself to blame. She was beautiful. What would she ever see in me? Perhaps I should break the habit of a lifetime and look for someone that nobody else would want. They might be grateful for my attention.

Another month passed. Zola tried to encourage me to go out, but I refused. Despite my idea of trying to find someone lonely and unappealing, I was still too worried that I would encounter more rejection and instead I hid in the flat and watched TV endlessly. Time was slipping away and I wasn't even trying to do as both Kendra and Zola had told me.

It was Friday and I was flicking through the newspaper while I ate the meal Zola had prepared for me before she left. I reached the last page of the paper and an advertisement for a club caught my attention. The place was called Babylon and I'd heard of it before. Its reputation had once made me shudder, but now I looked at the article with interest. It was the type of club where people I had once condemned as 'weirdos' went - the ones with peculiarly dyed hair and odd clothes. Some had numerous facial piercings or skin permanently marked with colourful tattoos. Maybe if I went there, I wouldn't be out of place. I might find someone like me. It wouldn't matter who she was if only I could spend enough time with her to hear those three words that would return me to my normal self.

I finished my meal and took a shower. I didn't have a suitable outfit to wear, so I chose black jeans and tee shirt and a grey hoodie. I doubted it would matter anyway, in a place like that. It was already nine o'clock and I headed out immediately, found a taxi to take me to the club and waited impatiently for the long journey to SoHo to be over.

I approached the building cautiously, still wary of being seen, but barely anyone paid any attention to me. Two bouncers stood outside and as I slowed my steps, one of them looked right at me.

"In you go, mate." He saw nothing unusual in me and I walked inside, relieved. I went to the bar and ordered a beer from an enormous barman with a shaved head, just like mine. His skull was tattooed and a long spike protruded from his chin. I looked left and right, seeing more and more curiosities and gradually allowing myself to relax. It had been a good idea to come here, I thought.

For an hour or so, I remained close to the bar, watching others. Most people seemed to be in pairs or groups. I hadn't seen any girls without a man or several friends and eventually I plucked up the courage to approach a smaller group of three. One of these was blonde, her hair cropped short and her face made up with stark black makeup. The other two were dark-haired, one dressed in Gothic style and the other in leather with a ring through her nose. Ordinarily I wouldn't have given any of them a second glance, but things were different now. I edged closer and offered to buy them all a drink.

I should have known it wouldn't work. Just because I went looking for other freaks, it didn't mean any of them would give me a chance. The blonde gave me a brief smile, but the other two looked shocked when their eyes landed on my face and I found myself backing away quickly.

"Do you think he's been in an accident?" one of them said to the others, her voice loud enough for me to hear above the music.

I returned to the bar, pulling the hood forward as much as I could to shade my face. I was wasting my time. I decided to get another drink and maybe another after that. Drown my sorrows before I headed for home and tried to work out how I could live the rest of my life like this. What would Zola say? That I had barely tried - I had only spoken to three girls out of a room full of them. I needed to look properly before I gave up.

I gulped beer and wandered to one side of the club, looking around me at the dancers in the middle, the people seated at tables along the rear wall. No one paid any attention to me. My eyes landed on a group of four - two men and two women - sitting around a table a few yards away. They seemed out of place, all of them extremely attractive, the girls wearing designer outfits and the men smart but casual. The petite girl, her hair short and dark, would be snapped up by Kingsons, I thought, but the way I was now I would never dare approach her. Besides, I didn't work there any more.

The younger of the men turned slightly and his eyes landed on me. From the distance and in the dimly lit area at the side of the club, his eyes looked as black as coal, staring at me out of a pale face. Wild hair that could have been brown or red tumbled over his forehead. His brow furrowed, but he continued to watch me, unblinking. I shivered, feeling curiously as if he were looking into me rather than at me. His lips parted and he licked the lower one, nostrils flaring. I remained rooted to the spot until suddenly he began to rise from his chair.

"Shit," I muttered to myself. He probably thought I was into him, and yet it seemed as if he were with the small dark girl.

In an instant the girl and the bigger man seated on the far side of him gripped him by the forearms before he could stand, holding him in his seat. I watched as he barked something at the other man and tried to wrench himself free. His companions, who I noticed now were as pale as he was, seemed immovable and he gave up the fight, slumping back in his chair. The dark girl was shaking her head and the other, a blonde, pursing him lips up and scowling. All of them seemed in some way strange, although certainly not in appearance. I hovered another moment and finished my beer, finding I couldn't look away and wondering why none of them had seemed shocked at the sight of me. My hood was down and even in the darkness, at least some of the scars and tattoos must be clearly visible.

The younger man turned to look at me again, the corner of his mouth suddenly pulling up into a crooked smile and it was that which galvanised me into action. For some reason unknown to me, he liked what he saw and the last thing I wanted was a man coming after me. I wasn't that desperate to free myself from Kendra's spell. I took a step backwards and narrowly missed bumping into someone carrying two drinks.

"Sorry," I mumbled, sidestepping and glancing back at the group of people.

"Wait. Please." I couldn't hear the two words, but I could see his lips forming them and I spun away quickly and almost ran for the door.

"No way," I muttered. "Not happening. Fuck that."

I flew out into the street and waved at a taxi. The club had been a mistake. The four strange, beautiful people had been the only ones to look at me with interest rather than horror, but I was back exactly where I had started.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

I went straight to bed when I reached my flat. I wasn't particularly tired, but there seemed nothing else to do. I was despondent, lacking hope and I didn't want to think any more. I thought if I slept, at least I'd have a few hours away from my new reality.

I stripped off my clothes and tossed them onto the floor as usual, then thought better of it and picked up the jeans. I hung them in the wardrobe, put the shoes on the shelf below and gathered up the other items, placing them in a pile in the corner. Zola had enough to do without me adding to it. I grinned wryly as I slid into the vast bed. When and how had my opinion of Zola changed? She was the housekeeper and tidying up after me was part of the job. She had, however, been amazingly tolerant of me and since moving to this flat, she was the only person I had. She understood and she was full of good advice, not that I had made much effort to take it yet.

I lay back against the pillows and closed my eyes, willing myself to relax, but once again sleep wouldn't come. I was wide awake and I couldn't get the strange people from the club out of my head. The first one my eyes had landed on had been the blonde girl. She was stunning, with a beautiful face and curves in all the right places. It had been fairly clear that she'd been with the older, dark-haired guy, however. They had been sitting close together, leaning in to each other as they talked. I had at first imagined the other two were a couple as well - the small dark-haired girl with her slim figure and the other young guy. It was his face that came to mind now, with the pale skin they all had, dark eyes, wild hair that looked as if he'd been raking his hands through it. His eyes had been fixed on me - he almost got up and came to me until the other man and the small girl stopped him and that puzzled me. What did they care if he wanted to talk to someone else?

Why did he want to talk to me, I asked myself? Even if he was gay, why would he even look twice at me? He was - I grimaced in the darkness as the word _beautiful_ came to mind. It didn't seem right to apply such an expression to a man, but I supposed it was true. He could have been a model as well, all of them could. What had he seen in me that was so interesting? Maybe they were all so perfect he wanted someone who looked like a bad boy - someone the others wouldn't like or would be shocked by.

"Ugh!" I rolled over and shoved my face into the pillow, punching it with my fist at the same time. "Stop thinking about them!"

I did eventually and somehow I must have slipped into sleep without realising it. I woke to daylight and the sound of Zola moving around the flat and the first thing I saw in my mind was the guy - correction, _the four people_ - from the club. I cursed quietly and forced myself to focus on what I needed to do with myself. Get in the shower, put some clothes on, go and ask Zola for some breakfast and try to think of some other way of meeting people.

I threw myself out of the bed and strode into the bathroom, ignoring the mirror which taunted me from the wall just inside the door. I had learned not to even glance towards it unless I was shaving or flossing my teeth. I showered, towelled dry rapidly and went back to my room to find something to wear - a different pair of jeans and a tee shirt.

"Morning, Zola."

"Good morning, Kyle. Would you like coffee?"

She was already brewing up and the rich smell of Douwe Egberts reached my nostrils. Curiously the young guy's nostrils flared when he looked at me, following which he licked his lips. I could see it in my head as if he were right in front of me and I shook myself, forcing the image away.

"Uh...yes, please. Will you make some eggs today, Zola?"

"Of course. Scrambled?"

"Thanks."

I sat at the kitchen counter sipping my coffee while I waited for the eggs and toast Zola made me, whisking butter, salt and black pepper into the eggs just the way I liked them.

"So, how was your evening out?" she asked as she bustled around. I had told her I was heading out, but not given her an idea of where.

"Unproductive," I sighed. "I went to a club in SoHo. It was full of freaks and even they didn't want to look at me."

_Except for that boy._

"Don't give up, Kyle. You will find someone."

"Easy for you to say. You look normal."

"The right person will see past your appearance." It was the same thing she had been telling me since it happened, but if people with pierced faces and tattoos from head to foot didn't want to know me, I found it difficult to believe I would find that someone before it was too late.

_Unless I try the young man. If he does like me, I'd only have to date him until he says those words and then I could get rid of him._

I choked on my coffee and grabbed a napkin to wipe the splatters from the counter. Where the hell had that thought come from?

"Are you alright, Kyle?"

"Yes, thanks, it went down the wrong way," I answered absently. I dug my fork into the eggs when the plate appeared in front of me and tried to push away the thoughts that were insistently filling my head.

It wasn't as if I was anti-gay or anything like that. I could appreciate a decent-looking guy. Hell, I'd even contemplated experimenting when I was in my teens and the gay kid in school had hinted that he liked me. Jake. He had been around my height - fit-looking, black hair, brown eyes, plump lips. I'd considered it for about a minute until I realised that everyone would probably find out and then _I'd_ be branded the gay kid. I'd lose my friends, my father would be disgusted and I'd have ruined my image in front of the whole school. So I called him an ass-bandit and talked about him behind his back instead, part of me still human enough to cringe over my behaviour when I saw the hurt look on his face. I wondered what he was doing now. He hadn't been a very academic kid and I knew his family ran a car servicing centre so he probably went to work there. I doubted he would be able to see past my hideous face now, even if I hadn't been so vile to him.

The point I was trying to make in my mind was that there seemed no reason why I should shun that boy, just because of his sex. If he liked me he could suit the purpose, which was to free me from this spell. It wouldn't kill me to spend time with him, coax him into thinking I cared while maybe I got the chance to experiment a little in the process. Who was ever going to know? Nobody knew me any more.

"Don't you like the eggs?" Zola's voice penetrated my thoughts and I realised the first forkful of eggs was still hovering in front of my face.

"Sorry, I was off with the fairies." Quite literally, I thought. I ate the eggs, making appreciative noises as I cleared the plate. I would think about it some more, I decided. My idea did seem like the only option, but would it even have crossed my mind to seek out a man if I hadn't been turned into this monster? The answer was no.

I spent the next few days looking into other venues where I might possibly find someone - dark, vibrant , crowded clubs where it was difficult to see the details unless you were up close to someone. I found a long list of them all across London and took to going out three or four times a week in my efforts to meet a girl who would look at me with interest rather than fear or revulsion. Before I knew it, a month had passed and all I had done was encounter repeated rejections, while the image of the curious pale boy lurked determinedly at the back of my mind, urging me to return to Babylon.

It took me another week to make up my mind to go back and when I finally decided to do it, I settled on Friday night, the same day I had gone there before. I had no way of knowing if he - _they_ - would be there, but perhaps they had a regular night to go out and I supposed it was my best bet. I showered, put on dark jeans and a shirt with a leather jacket over the top. I settled on a baseball cap to cover my head on the journey to the club, which I could easily fold and stuff into my pocket when I arrived.

I took the tube and then walked the short distance to the doors, finding the same two bouncers outside. Both nodded and waved me in and I stepped into the darkness and noise, my heart pounding along with the fast beat of the heavy rock song. I made a beeline for the bar and bought a beer, then moved away, sipping from the bottle as I looked left and right. It was just past ten and the place was already quite busy. Bodies lurched about on the dance floor while others stood watching, stamping their feet and nodding their heads in time to the music. I scanned each face before I reached the area of tables along the far wall, but by the time I had completed a full circuit of the club, I realised _they_ weren't here.

My heart sank and I gulped more of my beer, hovering uncertainly between the bar and the door. Perhaps they would come in later, or maybe I would somehow find someone else while I waited. I stayed still, watching the dancers and finishing my beer, then turned to the bar and ordered another. I began to make another lap around the edge of the dance floor, looking more carefully for a potential girl and finding one a few minutes later. She was black-haired and dressed from head to foot in black, lips painted bright red. She was short, probably no more than five feet, and carried a few extra pounds. She was probably in the same boat as me, hoping that someone might see past the slight chubbiness and strange appearance. As I watched she raised one hand to her mouth and chewed on a black-painted fingernail. I took a deep breath and walked to her, touching her shoulder lightly to get her attention when I reached her side.

"Hi, you look like you could do with some company. Can I get you a drink?"

Her eyes rose slowly to reach my face and then widened. I almost heard her sharp intake of breath before she took a step backwards.

"Um...no...thanks...I'm w-with someone. They went to the toilet. Excuse me." She turned and vanished into the crowd in a second and I chewed my lip. Typical. Even the ones who looked desperate didn't want me. Clearly she wasn't as desperate as I was.

I continued wandering around and had almost decided to give up and go home, when two familiar figures caught my eye - the statuesque blonde and the dark-haired muscular guy. They strode in suddenly, almost seeming to glide as they by-passed the bar and headed towards the tables, hand in hand. They were here! I looked this way and that, expecting to see _him_ at any moment, but minutes passed and neither he nor the small dark girl appeared. I made my way toward the rear of the club and spotted the couple sitting together, but it was apparent that they were on their own and again, my heart sank. Where was he? I felt foolish that all my hopes seemed to have been resting on this one boy, when I hadn't completely decided that I would go ahead with the idea. I could imagine myself running for the exit if he appeared in front of me, but what choice did I have? It wouldn't be permanent and it wouldn't be all that bad, would it? Assuming he still had any interest in me, and also assuming that I hadn't imagined the whole thing about him looking at me like that.

I stayed another hour, but the blonde and the muscular guy remained alone and eventually I did give up and go home. I would just have to go back another day, perhaps a different day. Just because I'd first seen them on a Friday didn't mean they would only be there on that day.

I returned on Saturday night. I felt as if I were running out of time. I had less than seven months - pretty soon it would be six and then five and then the chance of actually getting someone to fall in love with me would be heading towards zero. As I travelled back across town on the tube, I had more or less made up my mind that if I could find him and he did actually like me, I would go with it. What did it matter, for just a few months? I might even like it.

"You're getting to be a regular," one of the bouncers commented as I arrived at the door.

"Yeah, it seems like my kind of place," I nodded. As before I went to the bar and bought a beer, then walked around looking at the vast crowd of people. It was busier than Friday and I noticed some of the same people I'd seen the day before, with many new faces. I barely glanced at most of these unfamiliar freaks, feeling that there was no real point to it. I just wanted to find that pale boy with the riotous hair.

An hour passed and there was no sign of any of the four. I went to the gents and then headed to the bar for another beer, fighting my way through the crowd until I was eventually served by the same tattooed, hairless barman I'd seen on my first visit. I backed away and walked around some more, looking carefully at the people occupying the tables to no avail. I stopped and leaned against a wall, sipping my beer and wondering whether it was worth staying any longer. I tilted my head back to get the last of the beer in the bottle and just as I lowered it, I saw him.

It was a brief glimpse and then other people obscured my view and he was gone. I put my bottle down on a nearby ledge and rubbed my hands over my jean-clad thighs to dry the sweaty palms. My pulse had picked up and my blood seemed to be thundering in my ears loudly enough to drown out the deafening music. I was ridiculously nervous and I licked my dry lips, wondering if I should leave my position and go to the bar for another beer, but then I saw him again and I stayed where I was. He was leaning against the wall some ten metres away in a similar pose to my own, face turned in my direction. He raised a hand and raked it through his hair, then lowered it and shoved it into his pocket. His lips pulled up at one side into that crooked smile and his eyes fixed on my face. I stared back, fascinated by the way that he didn't blink, not once. He tugged is lower lip between white teeth that almost seemed to gleam in the flashing lights of the club and his eyes lowered for a moment before returning to mine.

What should I do? I had never been in this position before. Should I go to him? Beckon to him? Smile? Did one go about picking up a boy the same way you would a girl? I had no clue and so I just stood and stared, as did he. His lip slipped from between his teeth and his eyes darted away, shifting to the side and then back toward me. He tugged a hand through his hair again, then wrapped both arms around himself. He looked as if he didn't know what to do, just as I didn't. Perhaps I'd got it all wrong and he was only curious about my appearance. I risked a smile, hoping it didn't look like the grimace I imagined. After a brief pause, his lips stretched into a grin and he lowered his eyes once again. Now what? I should probably go to him, I thought. It didn't seem as if he would approach me and I dropped my gaze to the floor, trying to summon up the courage to put one foot in front of the other. This shouldn't be so difficult, but it was and I remained rooted to the spot.

"Hi."

I jerked my head up, startled to find him standing right in front of me, close enough so that I could hear his voice above the music without him shouting. I supposed I must have looked shocked, when he added, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

He was almost the same height as me, I realised as I looked into his face again. His eyes, which I had previously thought were dark, actually seemed a lighter colour. It was difficult to tell in the unnatural light, but they must have been blue or green. His hair appeared brownish with a mixture of shades, lips strangely red in contrast to his pale face.

"Um..." I frantically tried to think of something to say, blaming my failure on the surprise that he had covered ten metres in a split second. "Are your friends here?" I asked.

"They're my brother and sisters and no, I'm alone," he said smoothly.

None of them looked anything alike, I remembered, except for the pale skin. Perhaps they were adopted or fostered.

"Do you come here often?" I asked and then grimaced at the completely lame and cliched line. The boy barked out a laugh and I joined in, feeling as if despite what I said, it had broken the ice.

"All the time," he answered. "You're new around here."

"I suppose I am. I came in here one time around a month ago."

"I know. I was going to...uh...come over and say hello."

"It looked like your brother and sister stopped you. Why would they do that, apart from the obvious reason?"

His eyes slid over my face then, seeming to take in every scar and staple and tattoo.

"It wasn't anything to do with that. They're just a little over-protective."

"How old are you?" I asked, wondering if he was younger than he looked.

"I'm...um...I'm nineteen."

"And this..." I indicated myself. "...doesn't bother you?"

He shook his head. "Why would it? Beauty's..."

"...only skin deep anyway," I finished. "Funny, everyone seems to be saying that to me lately, but I never really believed they meant it."

"I was going to say, in the eye of the beholder, but I suppose it's kind of the same thing. It's what's inside that matters." He shrugged one shoulder and turned, leaning against the wall beside me. I stared at his profile, noting his straight nose, angular jaw, a dimple at the corner of his mouth where his lips were still pulled up in a half smile, strands of untamed hair falling over his brow. I was tempted to reached out and brush them away and I put my hands behind my back, clenching them together. How I felt at that moment was inexplicable. It seemed as if I were being pulled to him somehow. I didn't seem to be able to take my eyes off him and I noticed every little detail. His voice was like velvet in my ears and I found myself trying to think of questions to ask so he would talk more and I could listen. It made me feel out of control, as if I were being manipulated and it was me who was supposed to be doing that.

"Do you want a...a drink?" I offered.

"No, thank you." He turned to look at me again, his eyes reconnecting with mine. They looked different to what they had just a minute before. I had thought that they were a light colour, but now they looked dark, black in fact, framed by long lashes. I supposed it must be the constantly flashing lights that made them seem to change colour, but it made me feel curiously uneasy just the same. I lifted a hand to scratch my neck, loosening my collar and I knew I didn't miss the way his nostrils flared, the way they had the first time I saw him. Everything about him was making me want to ask him questions, but I felt tongue-tied and couldn't think of a single word to say.

"I should probably go," he said then. "I...um..." He paused and licked his lips. "I have some things to do."

"I don't even know your name," I answered numbly.

"It's Edward."

"Kyle." I wiped my hand on my jeans and offered it to him to shake, but to my surprise he backed away, giving me an apologetic smile instead.

"I really have to go. I'll see you soon, Kyle."

I was disappointed when he disappeared impossibly quickly into the crowd and I shook myself both physically and mentally. He almost didn't seem real. Everything about him was perfect - the way he looked, the sound of his voice. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that I had conjured him up in my imagination out of desperation to have someone want me, but if that were the case, surely I would have made up a pretty, curvy blonde girl? No, he was real, but there was something strange about him - stranger than most of the people in this place. Even his name was strange. Who named their child Edward these days? He would have been born the year after me, in 1994.

I left the club a few minutes later, deciding there wasn't much point staying longer. I had already proved to myself that no one else would give me the time of day and I was just going to have to wait until I saw Edward again and test the water. He had seemed to indicate he liked me, but I wasn't sure. I sighed heavily and walked outside, checking my watch and discovering it was still early enough for me to get the tube home. I began to walk to the station, looking around me at the other people in the street, mostly on the way to or from bars and clubs, dressed up, talking and laughing, some already the worse for wear. I stopped walking when I heard his voice and turned around slowly, looking in every direction.

"I'm fine!" he was saying loudly. "Why can't you leave me alone for five minutes?"

"You're not ready!" a deeper voice answered and my eyes landed on them then - Edward and his brother standing in a shop doorway.

"Nothing happened," Edward said, adopting a sulky tone.

"It could have. Look at you. You're..." I didn't catch the last word, the volume having dropped suddenly.

"I was okay. I left when I needed to." Edward shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away from his brother. "I just wanted to meet someone. It's alright for you and Rose. I'm _lonely._"

"You should still have told us - one of us would have gone with you."

"I don't need you baby-sitting me! I can survive a couple of hours in the big bad city without a chaperone, Emmett!" Edward snapped suddenly and charged out of the doorway, heading straight toward me. He didn't even see me until he almost ran into me and I caught him by the upper arms, halting his flight.

"Hey, are you okay? Edward?"

"Kyle...um...yes...I'm alright..." He was panting, nostrils flared and with only the glare of the streetlights around us I could see that his eyes were indeed black - curiously black as if they were all pupils and no irises. I squeezed his arms, surprised by how hard they felt. He was wearing a jacket over his shirt now, but his slim appearance didn't indicate a lot of muscle. I would have expected him to feel softer than he did.

"Can I do anything?" I asked.

"No. I need to go. Sorry. I'll...um...I'll find you." He took a step back and I released him just as his brother, Emmett, appeared beside him. Edward turned away and headed back the way he had come, leaving me facing the towering form of Emmett.

"Look...Kyle, is it?" he began and I nodded. "You seem like a decent enough bloke..."

"Really?" I queried and he gave me a small smile.

"You need to stay away from Edward. He's not ready to...uh...get close to anyone."

"I think that's for him to decide, isn't it?" I challenged. "He's not a child."

"No, he's not, but he's not ready for...this."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that you should move on and forget about him. He won't be going to Babylon again."

_"I'll...um...I'll find you."_

"Fine," I said. I didn't get why a nineteen-year-old man should have to answer to his brother, or why he _wasn't ready_ _for this_, whatever 'this' was. He was strange, that was a given, but he seemed to know his own mind. However, the hulk in front of me brooked no argument and instead I took a step away. "Okay, I'm just going to go home."

"Good man."

I glared at him, not liking the condescending words. It only made me more keen to see Edward again, to find out who he was and why his family were so protective. I walked away, hurrying now as I realised I had five minutes to make the last train and when I glanced over my shoulder before entering the station, both Edward and Emmett were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

I heard and saw nothing of Edward during the following week and I found I couldn't get him out of my mind. I told myself that most of this was curiosity about who he was, why his eyes changed colour and why his brother had behaved the way he did, but I knew there was more to it. I could remember every little detail from his pale skin to his straight nose, angular jaw, thick eyebrows, the way his untamed hair fell over his forehead and the way he dragged his hands through it. I could hear his voice in my head, like velvet teasing my ears.

_"I'll find you."_

I was inexplicably drawn to him. It was almost as if he were a magnet and I was a helpless iron filing and I wondered what would happen if I saw him again. Would he continue to be so mysterious and keep his distance or would he talk to me?

I looked at the clock with a sigh. It was Friday night and I was considering going back to Babylon. Emmett had told me Edward wouldn't be going there again, but it might have just be an attempt to put me off. I had barely been outside the flat and I doubted he could have found me if he tried, but perhaps he had changed his mind. One way or another I wanted to find out. Time was ticking away and out of everyone I'd encountered since I looked the way I did, only Edward had seen past it.

I got up and changed out of the jogging bottoms and tee shirt I was wearing, choosing grey trousers and a white shirt with another leather jacket. I didn't bother with the baseball cap or a hood. If I scared people, it was their problem.

I walked into Babylon just before ten and made a quick circuit of the club, then repeated it more slowly. The second time I walked past the tables I saw Emmett and the blonde girl, sitting close together with their eyes locked onto each other's. The other two chairs were pushed in and it was clear the pair were on their own. I moved away, not wanting to catch Emmett's eye if I could avoid it. I continued to wander about and even tried speaking to a girl at the bar, who of course shunned me as if I were a leper. An hour passed and I felt as if I were wasting my time. He wasn't there and I decided I may as well go home.

I put the television on when I got back to the flat and stretched out on the sofa to watch a late film. The Bourne Identity was on and I watched with only half of my attention as I wondered where I should go from here. Perhaps I could confess to Zola and ask her advice. She was full of good advice, most of which I hadn't yet taken.

I switched off the TV again and went to bed, sliding between the sheets in just my boxer shorts. It was approaching two o'clock and I could barely keep my eyes open. I drifted away almost immediately, but I slept fitfully and when I opened my eyes again it was still dark. I felt as if I were being watched and I squinted around the room, peering blearily into the dimness until my eyes landed on the face of someone sitting in the rocking chair in the corner. Immediately I thought of Kendra, but it wasn't her. The pale face belonged to Edward and I sucked my breath in hard and held it, blinking rapidly. He was in my room?

I rubbed my eyes and then stared across the room again, but as I grew more accustomed to the darkness, I saw that no one was there. I must have dreamed him. I let my breath out again and relaxed against the pillows. It had seemed so real, the feeling of being watched, but it had only been my imagination. I closed my eyes again, trying to calm my pounding heart and waiting for sleep to take me.

When I next woke, it was late in the morning and I could hear Zola moving around in one of the other rooms. My head was pounding and I dragged myself out of bed and staggered into the bathroom, standing under the shower until I had used up all the hot water. I pulled on the jogging bottoms from the previous day and a fresh tee shirt and headed for the kitchen.

"Good morning, Kyle," Zola said brightly.

"Is it?" I grunted.

"What happened?" She poured a large mug of coffee and placed it in front of me.

"Nothing, that's the problem."

"Still no luck?"

"The thing is...I met someone who actually doesn't seem put off by...all this." I indicated my face. "But they're kind of hard to get hold of...and have a weird protective family."

"They?" Zola frowned. "Are you going to tell me something about her?"

"Him," I blurted before I could stop myself and I avoided looking at Zola's face, expecting it to be shocked.

"I didn't know you liked boys, Kyle."

"I don't! Usually. I don't know, he's the only person I met who seems to like something about me."

"And you wouldn't be encouraging this just because of the spell?"

I opened my mouth to answer with a lie and nothing came out. I stared down at my coffee instead as I heard Zola's sigh.

"Haven't you thought that this boy might have feelings? You want him to fall for you and then what? Cast him aside? I thought better of you than that."

"Don't," I muttered. "I'm not a nice person."

"Now, I know that's not true. There is a decent human being in there somewhere. I've seen him quite a few times just lately. I know how desperate you are to find someone, but you can't toy with people's feelings like that."

"Yeah, I know. Aren't you bothered at all that I would...you know...be interested in a...?"

"I'm not even sure that you are, from what you've said, but no, I'm not. My eldest son, just turned sixteen, told me a few weeks ago that he's gay. I'd never turn my back on my own child, whatever he did. So long as he's happy and safe, that's all that matters. Same goes for you." She turned away abruptly and began beating some eggs, presumably for my breakfast.

"Thanks, Zola," I said. She had managed, with only a few words, to make me feel like a complete heel and I sunk my head into my hands. What was I going to do? Continue with my plan or forget about it for Edward's sake? If I could forget about him of course, which at the moment didn't seem likely.

I didn't go out that night. Not only did I still have a lingering headache, but I couldn't make up my mind what to do. I doubted Edward would be in Babylon anyway and it was becoming apparent that I wasn't going to find anyone else. I had to consider that if I had - if any of the strange girls I'd approached had been interested - I would have done exactly the same thing with them as I had thought of doing with Edward. None of them had appealed to me and I would have encouraged them to fall for me for the sole reason of escaping the spell.

_"I thought better of you than that,"_ Zola had said. It pricked my conscience and that surprised me. I'd been as uncaring as Dad about whose feelings I hurt, but over the past few weeks something had changed. I couldn't afford to feel guilty. It was already looking likely that I could be stuck like this.

I went to bed early, still feeling rough after the previous late night and broken sleep. Even my thoughts didn't keep me awake and I slept soundly for several hours, then again woke to a dark room. I was lying face down with my head turned to one side and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up the way they do when you sense something is behind you. I rolled over and jerked upright in one quick move and there he was again. I was convinced this time he was real, his face frozen in a look of shock, body rigid as he stood between the rocking chair and the open window.

"Edward?" I rubbed my eyes and when I looked again, I caught a glimpse of his head and shoulders disappearing outside the window. "Hey!" I hurled myself out of bed, stumbling as my legs tangled in the sheets. By the time I reached the window and leaned out, there was no sign of him and I stared down the fire escape in puzzlement. I was on the fourth floor - could anyone really get down there that quickly? "Edward!" I called loudly. "Come back and talk to me, please!"

I heard nothing in response, until a few seconds later a man leaned out of a window to my left and bellowed at me. "Shut the fuck up, gay boy, before you wake the whole fucking block!"

I shrank back inside the window and slammed it closed, then drew the curtains and switched on a lamp. He had definitely been here. It hadn't been my imagination and I suspected he had been here last night too.

_"I'll find you."_

My heart was slamming against my ribs and I was panting for breath, sweat breaking out all over my body despite the cool air in the room. This time it was going to be impossible for me to relax and sleep again and instead I took a shower and went into the living room. It was past four and dawn wasn't far away. I switched on the television and tried to concentrate on something else, but it was impossible not to think about Edward. Why was he coming to my room in the middle of the night and watching me sleep? It didn't make sense. We had talked before so surely it wasn't that he didn't want to approach me again, although I reasoned that I hadn't exactly made it easy if he'd been looking for me. I'd barely set foot outside.

"How the hell did you find out where I live?" I asked aloud. London was a big city and unless he followed me back from Babylon, there was no way. He didn't know my last name, I wasn't in the phone book, no one knew me any more. "Kendra, help me out," I said, imagining she might be able to hear me. "What's going on here? Who is this guy?" There was no reply and I supposed it was up to me to find out for myself.

Edward didn't return the next night or the night after that. I stayed up, listening to music with my iPhone ear plugs in, hoping that he would come back and that I could talk to him, but I waited in vain and only succeeded in making myself so tired that I slept ten hours solid the next night. Whether he came then or not, I didn't know. Days passed and I didn't see him again, resulting in me taking another trip to Babylon on Friday, but none of the four people were there. It was the same on Saturday. There was no sign of them and I didn't wake to find him in my room again. I began to wonder if I had imagined it after all and I was surprised to find myself disappointed. I was concerned about the amount of time that was passing without me getting any further forward, but at the same time I was perturbed that he seemed to have vanished.

Another week passed and then another. I started going to different clubs again, but the result was always the same. No one would give me the time of day and I grew more anxious that I was going to fail. I was going to stay ugly and spend my life alone. The following Saturday I returned to Babylon, but again none of the four were there and I returned home just after midnight, dejected and losing hope that I would ever see him again. I threw off my clothes and fell into bed, but I didn't sleep well. I drifted in and out of a light slumber and when I opened my eyes a few hours later, I realised immediately that I wasn't alone. I felt his presence even before I saw him and I found my voice quickly.

"Edward, don't run away again."

He looked startled, but remained sitting in the rocking chair, his hands resting on the carved wooden arms. I watched as he licked his lips and lifted one hand to rake through his hair. Then I sat up slowly and crossed my legs in front of me, not bothering to switch on the light.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Don't you think creeping into my room when I'm asleep is weird?"

He laughed awkwardly. "I suppose. I'm sorry."

"Why, then? And how did you find me?"

"I'm just...drawn to you. I said I'd find you. I...um...I saw you one day and followed you back. I'm sorry, you must think I'm a freak."

"The first time I saw you in here, a few weeks ago, I hadn't been out anywhere," I remembered. He couldn't have followed me, but I let it go for the moment. "What do you want from me, Edward?"

"I'm lonely," he blurted. "I'm just looking for...a friend. Look, I'll go. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I don't know what you must think of me."

"I think that you're going about looking for a friend in a bit of an odd way," I said. "Didn't we have some kind of connection in Babylon?"

"Yes." He dragged his hand through his hair again, making it stand on end.

"So stay and talk. Tell me something about you. Why is your brother so protective?"

"He and the others just don't want to see me get hurt. I've never done this."

"Done what?"

"Tried to...make friends with a...a guy."

"Are you gay, Edward?" I asked bluntly.

"Uh...yes."

"And you never...had a boyfriend...or anything?"

"No." He shook his head and grinned suddenly. "You could say I'm a late bloomer."

"I suppose you could say that about me too," I said, just in case he should ask the question. "I'm gonna switch the light on, okay?" I added, reaching out towards the lamp beside the bed. It quickly lit up the room and I glanced back at him to check he was still there while I groped around for a discarded tee shirt. I had suddenly become aware of the fact that I was sitting in bed wearing nothing but my underwear and I felt at a disadvantage. Edward didn't move as I pulled the shirt over my head and shoved my arms into the short sleeves.

When I looked at him again, I was able to see every detail, the way I hadn't under the changing coloured lights in the club. His hair was a rich shade of bronze with a few lighter strands here and there and his eyes were as green as the moss that fell from the guttering at the top of my building and accumulated on the fire escape. He was still smiling, impossibly white teeth visible between red lips. He dropped his eyes away after a moment, long lashes hiding the green orbs from me.

"How many times have you been here?" I asked him.

"Pretty much every night."

"Just to watch me sleep?" I frowned at him, completely baffled. "Who are you? Tell me something at least."

"My name's Edward Cullen. You saw my brother and sisters. Our father adopted us, which is why we don't look alike. You met Emmett already. The blonde girl is Rosalie - she and Emmett are an item. The other girl is Alice."

"Have you always lived in London?" I asked.

"No, only for a few months. We move around a lot."

"It must be difficult to meet people then, if you don't stay in the same place that long."

"It's difficult to meet people anyway. At least for me."

"Why, because you're gay?"

"That's part of it." He tugged a hand through his hair again and shifted to the edge of the rocking chair. "I should go."

"I was gonna get up and make some coffee," I said. "Why don't you stay and have some?"

"I don't drink coffee."

"Well, at least hang around while I have some." I threw the sheet off and grabbed for the jeans I'd left on the floor the night before. Edward got to his feet and moved in the direction of the window as I pulled up the zip and I crossed the room quickly towards him. "Where are you going?"

"I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. It's pointless." His face was wistful.

"I thought you were drawn to me," I protested as he slipped out of the window and stood on the fire escape, his hands resting on the window ledge. Again I had to wonder if this was all some strange dream - none of it seemed like it could be real. If only I could get him to stay longer and talk more, maybe I could understand. He was my only hope, I reminded myself. My hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could move and I heard him gasp, eyes widening. My own gasp of shock followed and I looked down at the arm I was gripping. His skin was ice cold, his flesh solid and hard and I remembered how his arms had felt when I held onto them after his altercation with Emmett weeks before.

"What the fuck?" I said shakily, letting go quickly. "What are you?"

"Don't ask me that." He stepped back and leaned against the railing on the fire escape.

"Why not?"

"You won't like the answer, even if you believe it."

"Trust me, there's not much I wouldn't believe at this moment," I said. I'd had a spell cast on me after all. This strange boy had been 'drawn' to me and spent the past few weeks creeping into my room to watch me sleep. I was willing to believe anything he said if it would answer some questions.

"I'm a vampire," he answered warily after a long pause. "I know...it's far-fetched...but that's what I am."

I remembered a number of things then, besides his hard flesh when I gripped his arms. I remembered watching Bram Stoker's 'Dracula', another film called 'After Dark' and a host of others and I compared things to what I saw in Edward. He had impossibly pale skin, his eyes changed colour and he rarely blinked. He was ice cold, the first time I saw him his nostrils flared as if he smelled something good to eat and I'd only ever seen him at night. If my dead mother could turn me from a good-looking guy into a hideous monster, then why would I even question what he had just told me? I licked my lips, trying to think of something to say.

"Do you want to kill me?" I asked.

"No." He paused again for a moment and gave me a small smile. "But my nature makes it a struggle not to."

"Am I safe?" I stared into his eyes, still deep green, but piercing as if he were looking into me.

"At the moment. I'm not thirsty."

"Will you come back inside and talk to me properly? Please?"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't have much to lose."

He raised an eyebrow and then after another hesitation he stepped forward. I moved out of the way as he slipped back into the room and I led him into the kitchen, switching on the under-unit lights and the kettle.

"I suppose I know now why you don't drink coffee," I commented.

"I sort of miss it."

"How long have you been...a vampire?" The word sounded alien on my tongue.

"Not long. At least not by our standards. Fifteen years, so I'm actually thirty-four. I was changed when I was nineteen. Are you sure you want to hear this? You don't even seem surprised."

"My life has been weird lately," I said. "There isn't much you could say that would surprise me."

"What else do you want to know?" Edward took a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and watched as I dumped instant coffee into a mug with a slightly shaky hand.

"I want to know what you like about me. I mean...I'm not exactly attractive," I grimaced.

"I told you beauty's in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes we just form a connection to someone although it's more usual for that to be another vampire. When Emmett met Rose she was human, but they instantly knew they were destined to be together. Her blood called to him and it drove him insane; she was what's known as his singer. He changed her so she wouldn't age and leave him. They haven't been apart for more than a few hours in almost seventy years."

"Wouldn't you do better to look for another vampire?"

"I tried. From about two years after I was changed. That's one of the reasons we travel so much, looking for others. I've never met another like me."

"You mean gay?"

"Yes. I've known since I was about fourteen, but I never had the courage to do anything about it and then...it was too late. My family hate what I'm doing. They don't see how I can possibly have anything with a human, despite Emmett and Rose succeeding. He's much older though and has a lot more control. If I do get close to someone, there's always the chance that...it would end badly."

"You mean you'd kill me...them...whoever."

"I hope not."

"Is that why you said it was hopeless?" I queried, spilling the boiling water I was trying to pour into my mug. It pooled on the counter and dripped over the edge onto Edward's knee, soaking into his trousers. "Shit, I'm sorry!"

He just shrugged and smiled, showing no sign that he had felt the scalding liquid. "Yes, that's why I said it was hopeless. I thought maybe somehow it would work, but I don't really see how. Why would anyone - anyone human - want me?"

"But you're beautiful," I said. It was a word I had applied to him in my head once.

"Maybe on the outside. All of us are - not just our faces, but everything else is designed to attract our prey. Our voices, our smell...we're the most dangerous predators in the world, Kyle. I'm not beautiful, I'm a killer."

"You haven't killed me yet," I pointed out.

"Like I said, I don't want to, but keeping control isn't easy. I can smell you...your blood. I caught the scent of it in that club over everyone else."

"Is that why your brother and sister held you down?"

"Yes, they thought I might pounce right there in the middle of the club. I'm not used to crowds. Sometimes it's overwhelming, but I was okay until...I smelled you." He stopped suddenly. "I can't really believe I'm saying all this to you."

"I don't mind. I'm curious. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up," I admitted. "Are you like the vampires in films?"

"You mean do we sleep in coffins? Shrink away from garlic and crosses and holy water? No, but some things are the same. We burn in the sun. We sleep during the day and feed at night. We don't breathe and we have no pulse, no heartbeat. We're pretty indestructable. You can't kill us with a wooden stake, only decapitation or fire."

"Your eyes change colour," I prompted.

"My natural colour is green."

"What about black?"

"Our eyes turn black when we're thirsty, or angry, or upset or...um...aroused. Red for a while after we feed. Our skin is a little less white then too, and less cold."

"How often do you feed?"

"We can last for about a week before it becomes a problem. Recently I've been doing it daily. It makes me less of a danger to you."

"That's good to know. I still don't understand why you come here when I'm sleeping."

"I've been testing myself. When we first spoke it was all I could do not to...well...I struggled. I thought if I came here, for just a few minutes at a time I would get used to being near you. Eventually I was staying for a couple of hours and it was okay."

"So..." I struggled to find the right words. How the hell did I begin to work out how to even be friends with what he was? "What do you want from this?" I asked.

"I think that's up to you. You know about me now. Doesn't anything I said make you want to run away and call for Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" He chuckled softly at his own joke.

"No. You said you're lonely. Well, so am I. Look at me. I either scare or disgust everyone around me."

"How did it happen?"

"An accident."

"You have a nice face," Edward said.

"I don't think so. I'm not a nice person either. I've been...pretty vile to a lot of people in the past," I admitted.

"You're nice to me. You're the only person who's talked to me as if I'm normal in fifteen years."

"Same here."

"I'm not very good at interacting with people. Other than my family, I never had the opportunity. Before I became...this...I was too shy to make friends."

"You seem to be doing okay so far." I sipped my coffee and replaced the mug on the counter, noting that my hand was no longer shaking.

"I need to go." He was looking at the kitchen window and I followed his gaze, seeing that the sky was lightening with the approach of dawn.

"Do you want me to take you somewhere? I don't have a car, but I have a motorbike."

"Maybe best not to. The others won't be happy if they see me with you."

"What would they do? Kill me?" I joked.

"No, just give me grief the same as always." He slid off the stool and had left the room before I could blink. I followed and found him already standing by my bedroom window.

"Are you coming back?"

"Do you want me to, after everything?" He looked hopeful and I nodded quickly.

"Come earlier if you want to. I'll wait up."

His lips twitched up at one corner into the crooked smile I had seen a number of times now. "Thank you. Goodbye, Kyle."

He was gone before I could answer and I sank onto the edge of the bed. I was stunned from the whole experience. What he had said to me explained a lot, but I still had so many questions. Could it really work, I wondered? Could we somehow be together enough for him to fall for me and lift the spell? If I ended things at that point, would he or his family hurt me?

"Shit," I muttered. "He's a vampire."

Now he was gone, I went over the strange conversation we had in my head. Part of me had difficulty believing any of it had happened, but I knew I only had to look in the mirror and remind myself how I looked a few months ago and I would be able to believe anything.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

I managed to catch a few hours of sleep and woke late in the morning. I was surprised I'd slept at all after the strange night I'd had and as I stood in the shower, idly soaping myself, again I wondered if it had been real. Had I really sat in the kitchen drinking coffee in the middle of the night, having a conversation with a vampire? As I stepped out of the shower cubicle and grabbed a towel, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, a blurred shape behind the steam, but I knew if I wiped it with the towel I would see every scar and tattoo that hadn't been there just a few months ago. It had been real. Edward was as real as I was myself and I would get my head around it eventually.

I got dressed and headed for the kitchen, clearing away the coffee mug from the night and boiling the kettle to make fresh. I could never be bothered to wait for the percolator to brew properly when Zola wasn't working and while the water boiled, I slid a few slices of bread into the toaster and took a jar of jam out of one of the cupboards.

Where was Edward now, I wondered? Where did he and his family live? I imagined he was somewhere in a darkened room, sleeping the day away until it was time to rise again and hunt...and to come back to see me. I shuddered with slight horror at the thought of him killing someone in order to feed, but at the same time the quiver in my spine was due to excitement that he had promised to come back. I frowned to myself and chewed my lip as I considered this. I didn't want to like him or look forward to seeing him, but somehow I did and that hadn't been part of the plan.

I finished the breakfast and went out for a while, heading to the park for a walk. Other than my visits to clubs, I'd barely been out anywhere and I felt like some fresh air. Already past midday, the area was busy with dogwalkers, joggers, groups of kids playing football and old couples strolling. I wandered around for an hour and then sat on a bench to watch the goings on. No one seemed to be paying much attention to me for once, until I glimpsed a movement from the corner of my eye. I turned to see a girl standing close to the end of the bench, a small dog on a lead at her feet. It was Lindy and Midge and I lifted my eyes to her face in surprise.

"Hello." I gave her a small smile. "How's Midge?"

"You remembered his name?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's a little monkey as always. Look, I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted before. I know it was weeks ago now, but I haven't seen you since. I was so rude and I'm not like that normally. I just..."

"Got a shock, I know," I nodded. "It's cool, don't worry about it. I get a shock myself every time I catch sight of a mirror."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"An accident." I told her the same thing I had told Edward. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Okay." She sat on the other end of the bench and loosened Midge's lead so he could reach me. I bent over to pet him. I was curious about Lindy's sudden interest in talking to me, but I supposed she just felt sorry for me. She certainly wouldn't be attracted to me and for some reason, even if she had been, Edward's face filled my head and all I could think about was seeing him again that evening. I asked her about her modelling contract and she explained that she was being used for a perfume ad. She thought Rob Kingson was very arrogant and rude to his staff and on the one occasion she'd met him, he made her feel two inches tall. I almost laughed and remembered I had been exactly the same just a short while ago.

I spent an hour talking to her and when I walked home afterwards, I was confused. Could she be interested in me at all, if I made an effort to encourage her rather than just chatted like a friend the way I had been doing? Was it worth a try? Maybe it would give me two chances at breaking the spell and I considered seeking her out again another day. She obviously walked her dog in the same place each time so she must live somewhere close to the park. She wasn't my type, but then nor was Edward. Maybe they would both fall for me. I laughed to myself at the thought - the hideous person I was with both a boy and a girl after him. I doubted it would happen, but it was still worth a shot.

I spent the rest of the day alone in the flat. I ordered a pizza in the evening and watched television, repeatedly glancing out of the window at the sky as the sun began to slip from view. All thoughts of Lindy had gone out of my head by that point. I was thinking about a vampire, waking up and waiting for the last hint of sunlight to disappear before he set foot outside and I went to open my bedroom window which I had closed before I went out earlier. I left it wide and then returned to the lounge, watching the programme on the TV with only half of my attention as I listened for my expected visitor.

An hour passed and then another. It was almost nine o'clock and my heart pounded, my blood thundering in my ears as each second ticked by. I sat cross-legged on one corner of the sofa, my back half turned to the door and the hair stood up on the back of my neck even though I was still alone. My reaction to the anticipation of his visit seemed out of proportion and I breathed deep, trying to calm myself down. Perhaps he wouldn't even come back tonight.

Fifteen more minutes passed and then a slight sound alerted me to the fact that I was no longer alone. It was nothing more than a faint squeak of the loose floorboard just outside the lounge door and I turned my head slowly, finding Edward standing in the doorway. He was wearing smart trousers and a shirt with a leather jacket and shiny shoes on his feet. His bronze hair was a chaotic tangle, cheeks flushed with a hint of colour, lips and eyes crimson. I shot to my feet and took a few steps backward before I could control myself and Edward's seemingly eager expression changed into one of disappointment.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," he said.

"No, I'm sorry. You just...made me jump." I laughed awkwardly, goosebumps rising along my spine. This time it wasn't excitement, but the thought that his red eyes and the faint colour of his skin indicated it wasn't long since he had been drinking someone's blood. "Come and sit down," I added.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I returned to my position in the corner of the sofa and he walked slowly and carefully into the room, lowering himself onto one of the other cushions and leaving a reasonable gap between us.

"I'm sorry I startled you," he said. His face was turned toward me and his unblinking red eyes continued to chill me. I needed to think about something else, but I couldn't get the thought out of my head that he might kill me if he was thirsty enough. Maybe I was making a mistake after all. He could fall for me, but what good would it do if he said 'I love you' and then finished me off, just as the spell broke?

I studied his face, the same as before if you ignored the eyes and the slight blush. He looked so good and I could smell him now - different from before, but somehow the same. He smelled sweet and fresh and alluring with a warmth to it that hadn't been there previously.

"I'm sorry I was weird," I said. "You didn't really startle me, I just...your eyes..."

"Freaky, I know. I should have left it longer before coming here. You said come earlier, but I didn't think. You're imagining me killing someone, aren't you?" He tugged a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up more wildly than before.

"It's alright. I know what you are. I'll get used to it." I picked up the glass of coke I'd been drinking and gulped some to relieve my dry mouth. It still felt strange not to offer him something. "Can I touch you?" I blurted, without the idea having been a conscious thought first. "I'm just...curious," I added.

"Okay." He turned more toward me, tucking one leg beneath him and I reached out slowly, not quite sure whether to touch his hand or his face. My fingers made their way to his face of their own accord. I saw the flare of his nostrils immediately and snatched my hand back. "I won't hurt you," he said. "I have a natural reaction to the smell of your blood, that's all. I can control myself, I promise."

"Sorry." I laughed nervously and reached out again. This time my fingers brushed his cheek and then my palm cupped it, feeling smooth flesh, almost like porcelain. There was warmth there - he felt cooler than me, but not cold and I moved my hand again, tracing the shape of his cheekbone and then his jaw. His chin was perfectly smooth with not even a hint of stubble as if he had shaved recently. His lips curved up into a smile and his eyes lowered. He turned his head to nuzzle my palm and breathed in sharply, then moved again so that my hand slid back to his cheek.

"No one's ever touched me like that," he whispered.

"How long does the warmth last?" I asked, removing my hand reluctantly.

"Not long. A couple of hours. May I?" He lifted a hand from his lap and I nodded as it slowly moved toward my face. His fingers touched my chin and brushed over my lips, then continued to one side over my cheek. He traced one of the scars before reaching my ear, then back to where an eyebrow should have been and on to the staples on the bridge of my nose. I felt every light touch and I found I was holding my breath, my heart slamming against my ribs even harder than when I'd been awaiting his arrival. I couldn't take my eyes off his face and when he lowered his hand suddenly, I let my breath out with a rush. He paused for a moment and then slipped his hand into mine, curling his fingers around it. "I wasn't sure if you really meant it when you asked me to come back."

"I'm fascinated by you," I admitted. I sounded breathless as if I'd been running and I repositioned my hand, threading my fingers through his. I was tanned, mostly from the sunbed, and his fingers looked impossibly pale in contrast. I felt almost giddy and I lifted my eyes to his face again. "How do you choose?" I asked slowly. "I mean...is it just the first person you see...or smell...what?"

"Please don't ask me about that." Edward's face stiffened and he ran his free hand through his hair again. "You don't need to hear it."

"I'm curious. I won't freak out, I promise." I wasn't actually sure that I wanted to hear the answer, but what I said to him was true - I was curious.

"Kyle, I kill someone almost every night. It's not something I want to dwell on. I do it to survive like the others, but I never stop feeling guilty about it. We try...to go after those who have done something bad. A person who's killed or raped someone or beaten their wife...but it's not always the case." He stopped and gulped and I shuddered despite my efforts not to. I knew Edward saw it, and felt it too as my hand shook in his. His face fell again and he closed his eyes briefly. "I should really go. I'm not a good...person, if you can call me that. You'd be better off without me. I'm being selfish, hoping that something could happen between us." He began to pull his hand free from mine, but I tightened my grip.

"Don't," I told him. "It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have asked you, it's my own fault. I just wanted to know about you. I'll get used to it." It wasn't the first time I'd said that and I tried a smile, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt. I was a little scared still, but I didn't want to let go of him and right then it wasn't anything to do with my desperation to have someone fall for me. Since we had touched each other's faces and held hands, I felt oddly fuzzy-headed as if I'd had a few beers. I felt almost drunk on Edward and I squeezed his hand even tighter in mine. "Don't go," I repeated. "Tell me more about you. How did you become a vampire? I mean...how were you changed?"

He relaxed suddenly and edged a little closer to me. "The man I call my father did it. His name's Carlisle and he's a doctor. He's been a vampire for hundreds of years. We don't usually change others unless it's unavoidable. He had a mate - a wife, you might say - named Esme. She was killed in a battle with other vampires they came across in Europe and he was alone for a long time after that. He decided falling in love again would only end in heartbreak, so instead he looked for younger vampires he could adopt as his children. He found Alice first, already changed, but abandoned by her maker and wandering around lost. Emmett came next and then Rose, who was human. Their situation was unusual and Carlisle had already forbidden Emmett to change her, but he did it anyway out of desperation not to be parted from her. She had no family or friends and nothing to lose.

"I was last. They weren't looking for anyone else, but they were all hunting together and they found me in the north of the country. I was...I spent all of my time alone then. I knew I was gay and I had no idea of how to find someone and no courage to do it even if I did. I started drinking and sitting in a park at night for hours. I'd seen Emmett and Rose a couple of times from a distance, but never really considered who or what they were. Then one day I was heading home - I knew my parents were worried about the way I was carrying on, but I'd had one too many drinks and I stumbled in the road when I was crossing. The lorry didn't see me and the next thing I knew I was...like this."

"Oh, my God! So Carlisle found you injured...and turned you into a vampire?"

"Yes, he said they'd seen me a few times and knew my life was unhappy. It seemed a waste and he wanted to adopt me and try to give me something else."

"What happened to your parents?" I asked.

"They never knew what happened. I was reported missing, but nothing ever came of it, of course. I went with the others to a new town and then another and I never went back."

"Shit," I said. "But how...how did he do it?"

"A bite. When a vampire feeds, it merely drinks its victim's blood. To change me, Carlisle drained me to the point of death and injected his venom into me. The final stage was for him to feed me from his own blood. I wasn't aware of that, though, I was too badly injured, almost dead. When I woke, I was already transformed." He let out a heavy sigh. "Sometimes I think maybe it would have been better if he just left me there in the road."

"Aren't you happy at all?"

"I enjoy things - spending time with my new family, music, films and I've been able to see most of Europe in the last fifteen years. But really I've been alone my whole life. Sometimes it's too much."

"You're not alone now," I said softly. My heart went out to him at that moment. He had gone from one unhappy life into another and I couldn't imagine spending my life with no one at all in it, not that I'd made my friends and previous girlfriends particularly happy when they were with me and I was alone now just as he was.

"I wish I could really believe that." He pulled his hand free from mine and wrapped his arms around himself, biting his lip.

"Hey..." I shuffled closer to him on the sofa, my knee bumping his. "I've known that feeling for a while now. The only person I see is my housekeeper. My old friends...well, they don't know me any more. My mother's dead and my father threw me out. I need somebody too."

He remained still and silent for a long moment and then eventually his lips twitched up at one corner. "So where do we go from here?"

"I'm not sure," I said. At the forefront of my mind was my goal - the whole reason why I had looked twice at him in the first place - but now there was more to it and I thought I would like spending time with him. "I suppose we hang out together, get to know each other..."

"Haven't you done this before?" Edward asked.

"Not with a man," I blurted before I could stop myself and his brow furrowed as he lifted his eyes to my face. His eyes were a dark shade of green again, I noticed.

"So why now?"

"Well...um...I was always curious. There was this boy in school I might have...uh...done something with, if I hadn't been so worried about ending up like him, being bullied and called a poof. Then of course there was my father, who made it pretty clear I was to follow in his footsteps or fall by the wayside, which I've done now anyway."

"What happened with your father?"

"He runs a modelling agency. He doesn't want a hideous freak like me around lowering the tone," I said bitterly.

"I'm sorry." Edward's hand found mine again and I gripped it firmly. "What actually happened to you?" he asked.

"Uh...I'd rather not talk about that. Do you want to do something else? Watch a film or something? Or we could go to Babylon."

Edward shook his head and smiled. "I don't even like the place. I thought it was the most likely one for me to find someone who wouldn't run away screaming."

"Me too." I grinned back at him and pointed at the shelving which housed hundreds of DVDs. "Why don't you choose one?"

"All those are yours?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah."

In a split second he had released my hand again and was standing in front of the shelves and I heard myself gasp.

"Sorry," Edward said again. "I forget myself. We try so hard to blend in when we're around people. Consciously moving carefully, moving our shoulders and chests to look like we're breathing, blinking...I fail miserably most of the time. I'm not a very good actor."

"Just be yourself," I told him. "It won't surprise me so much next time."

He plucked a disc from the shelf, removed it from its case and slid it into the player. In another second he landed back on the sofa beside me, his momentum causing the piece of furniture to shift backwards a few inches. He laughed softly and turned to look at me.

"The Bourne Identity, is that okay? I haven't seen it before."

"Fine with me," I said although it wasn't long since I'd seen it.

"Can I try something?"

"What?" He was staring at me intently, his eyes roaming over my face and my pulse, which had settled since we began talking, picked up speed again. I had visions of him leaning over to kiss me and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I'd considered experimenting and I'd decided I was going to go ahead with things in the hopes of breaking the spell. I even realised I liked him, but now it came down to it, I wasn't sure that I really wanted to kiss a man.

"Just hold still."

I sat there, rigid, my heart hammering as he edged closer, but he didn't try to kiss me. He tucked himself in closer to my side and pressed his face into my neck. He felt cool, but not icy and I heard him breathe in sharply, no doubt smelling my blood. I struggled to suppress a shiver as he breathed out again, blowing cool air onto my skin. Then he turned to face the television and simply rested against me. I quietly sighed with relief and reached for the remote control.

"I'm okay," Edward said, sounding a little surprised. "I wasn't sure I could get this close. I was testing myself."

I didn't speak, but after I punched the 'play' button and tossed the remote control to the other end of the sofa, I let my arm fall carefully around Edward's shoulders, draping it there almost casually rather than actually cuddling him. I could feel his coolness through our clothes and I could smell the strange alluring sweetness of him. I quickly discovered it didn't matter that I'd seen the film such a short time ago, because I couldn't concentrate on it anyway. I was surrounded by Edward's presence and again I felt the curious almost drunk sensation again. I wallowed in it while the film went on in the background although I was aware of Edward watching intently, laughing or gasping every so often. Eventually he slipped away from me to change the disc, selecting The Bourne Supremacy and holding it up for me to see.

"Can we watch the next one?"

"Do you think you'll have time to watch the whole trilogy?" I asked.

"Maybe. It's early still." He slid the disc into the player and returned to my side. My arm was resting against the back of the sofa where it had stayed when he moved and I curled it around him again. The tips of my fingers brushed his neck above his shirt collar and I felt that he was cold now - icy cold - and I tugged him closer in an unconscious attempt to warm him. The film started and we continued as we had previously - Edward's eyes glued to the screen and me drifting, breathing in his scent and feeling his coldness seep through my clothes to chill my right side. After a while my eyes began to close and by the time the film was past halfway, I found I couldn't stay awake.

When I opened my eyes it was still dark and the TV screen was showing the film's start screen again. I was alone and I struggled upright, feeling groggy and disoriented. I rubbed a hand over my face and hauled myself to my feet, looking around the room before heading for my bedroom. The window was still open and Edward was gone.

"Shit," I muttered. I was angry with myself for falling asleep and not having had the chance to say goodbye. I supposed he hadn't wanted to disturb me, or maybe he just began to find our proximity difficult and had left quickly. I closed the window and stripped down to my boxers, then slid into bed. The evening had seemed surreal in a way. Watching TV with a vampire - I doubted many people could say they had done that - not that I had actually watched much of it myself. My head was clear now, but having him so close to me for so long had a strange effect on me. I'd felt intoxicated and it made me wonder how it would affect me if we kissed. I imagined his lips being cool and firm, while he tasted sweet and fresh, the same way he smelled. My heart pounded again and I realised that I did want to kiss him after all. I wanted to hold him against me and taste his mouth. I just had to remind myself that it was only temporary and that I would end it when the spell broke.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

The next night I ate the dinner Zola had left for me and passed the time working out on the gym equipment in the second bedroom. My routine had once been almost daily, but since Kendra cast her spell, I had lost my momentum and my interest in a lot of things. My workouts had grown less and less frequent over the past few weeks and I decided to do something about that. A good session on the multi-gym took up an hour of the evening and then I stood in the shower with my eyes closed, trying to think about Lindy and thinking about Edward instead. I told myself I would go looking for her again the next day, but it was his face I saw in my head and him that my pulse quickened for when I imagined him slipping through my window in another hour or so.

Edward was getting close to me. I wasn't particularly observant about the feelings of the opposite sex with regard to me and never had been, at least until it was revulsion I saw on their faces instead of interest. However, Edward was obvious in a kind of subtle way. His eyes would follow the movements I made, often fixing on my face. He was clearly disappointed by my shock at his red eyes and he was quick to snuggle against me as we watched the movies. It would certainly be easier for me to encourage him to fall for me rather than Lindy, who I'd had one conversation with. Besides, I liked Edward. I couldn't help myself. It was a combination of things, from his stunning looks and soft voice to the enticing way he smelled, the quirky crooked smile and the slightly hysterical-sounding laugh when he found something funny. His nervous habit of raking his fingers through his hair made me want to grab his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze and I found what he actually was both fascinating and thrilling.

What would it be like to kiss him, I asked myself. That thought had been on my mind for a little while now, but actually doing it was a different matter. Again I tried to imagine how it would feel. His lips would be cool and firm. He would probably close his eyes, his long lashes resting on his cheeks and his cold hands might hold onto my neck. It would be a slight caress, but no tongues.

I shivered and looked down as I felt myself stiffen. I was half hard, my cock sticking out at right angles to my body as I pictured myself kissing Edward. The thrill of him being a vampire didn't seem significant at that point - he was still male and part of me certainly liked that idea.

"Shit," I muttered, but I supposed it wouldn't hurt if he noticed. I wanted him to know - to _think - _that I was into him.

As tempted as I was to stay in the shower a little longer and masturbate, I wasn't comfortable with wanking over Edward and I turned the water off quickly and tried to put it out of my mind while I dried off and found some clothes. It was a warm evening and I chose a muscle tee-shirt and cargo shorts. The shirt showed off rather more of the tattoos than I would like, but they didn't seem to bother Edward and I knew physically I looked good. I had been toned from age seventeen when Dad got me a gym membership and by the time I reached twenty I had bulked up a little too. The muscles in my arms and shoulders were well-defined and my upper body ripped, pecs and abs obvious. At least there was something I still liked about myself.

I went into the lounge and found the disc of The Bourne Ultimatum, thinking Edward probably left after the second movie since I was asleep. If he didn't want to watch it, we could do something else. I had left my bedroom window open as usual, but nine o'clock came and went and he didn't come. I told myself he was probably waiting until his red eyes had faded to avoid giving me a shock once again, but an hour passed and then another and still there was no sign of him. I switched off the TV and went to my room, yawning. After a number of late nights, insufficient sleep was catching up with me and I decided to just crash and hope that he turned up while I was sleeping. I tried not to think too much about the extent of my disappointment as I stripped off the cargo shorts and got into bed wearing my boxers and the muscle shirt. For a little while I lay awake staring at the open window. I had left a gap in the curtains and they moved in the breeze, but Edward didn't appear and soon I was unable to keep my eyes open any longer. I slept and hours passed.

I woke to darkness, the room lit only by the faint glow of the city lights outside the window. Immediately my eyes landed on the pale face resting on the usually vacant pillow next to mine and Edward jolted upright quickly.

"Sorry. Um...I didn't want to disturb you. I should have...um...just sat in the chair like before."

"It's alright," I mumbled groggily, rubbing my eyes. "How long have you been here?"

"A couple of hours. It's half past two now."

"Why so late?"

"I...um...well, first I wanted to wait until..." He indicated his eyes. "Then I couldn't get away. My family aren't happy with the way I've been disappearing every night, especially Carlisle. He worries about me and I know they think something bad will happen. It won't - I'm getting used to being near you now - but they think one day I'll lose control of myself. They're also concerned that I'll get hurt."

I felt a pang of guilt and for a moment considered telling him he would be better off without me. I _was_ going to hurt him and suddenly I hated the thought of doing that.

"I won't hurt you," I heard myself say and almost cringed at the blatant lie. "I like you, Edward."

"I like you too. Look, I'm sorry I'm disturbing your sleep. I should probably leave you alone. Unless you don't mind me staying."

"I just don't know what's so fascinating about watching someone sleep. Don't you get bored? I probably mutter and snore and God knows what."

"You sleep very peacefully. I listen to you breathing...slow and deep. I can hear your heartbeat and feel the warmth coming off you. It's difficult to explain, but you're...human and it makes me wish I still needed to breathe, that my body was...alive."

"Edward..." I couldn't imagine how he felt. It was impossible to put yourself in the shoes of someone who was essentially dead, but it was easy to see his wistfulness and feel how sad he was. He had an eternity ahead of him the way he was - an eternity of longing and it only made me feel more guilty about what I was doing. I reached out to him and grasped his arm, feeling the coldness of his firm flesh through his shirt sleeve. I drew him towards me and he lay down slowly, his head returning to the pillow a couple of feet away from mine. "Stay," I said.

I didn't think I would be able to fall asleep again with him lying there watching me, especially when his hand came to rest on my chest over my heart. I could feel the chill of his palm through the tee-shirt and my heart began to thump rapidly, causing the corner of Edward's mouth to pull up into his crooked little smile.

"Stop it," I murmured, but I didn't push his hand away and he didn't withdraw it. After a moment I covered it with my own and closed my eyes, willing myself to relax. Somehow my pulse slowed again after a few minutes and I drifted away with Edward's hand still resting over my heart and the feel of his eyes on my face. When I woke again it was daylight and the only evidence of him having been there was the dent in the spare pillow from his head.

I rolled over and sniffed the pillow, catching the sweet scent of him still lingering there, until I caught myself and got up quickly to take another shower. My head was a jumble of confused thoughts and as much as I tried to convince myself that none of it really meant anything, I knew I was beginning to like Edward more than I planned and I really didn't want to make him miserable. On the other hand, I felt as if I had no choice. I wanted my old face back and it wasn't as if there was any possibility a relationship with him could work anyway. Even if I really wanted it to, I would age and he wouldn't. There was no way I'd let myself become like him, the way Rose had done - I'd rather stay ugly.

Zola had just arrived and I gulped the coffee and the bacon sandwich she made for me, carefully avoiding her questions about Edward before I got ready to go out. I merely said I'd seen him over the weekend and that I had things to do now. I didn't know if I would find Lindy that day - models worked strange hours so she might be in the park with Midge and she might not, but I intended to go looking. I needed a distraction and maybe, if she would give me a bit of time to try endearing myself to her, I wouldn't have to worry about the complication of the vampire.

I was in luck. Lindy wasn't in the park, but after spending two hours there walking around, I was crossing the road outside the entrance when I saw her walking along the street. She was wearing jeans and a bright yellow shirt, her hair in a ponytail and an enormous handbag dangling from a leather strap on her shoulder.

"Hey, Lindy!" I called to her from a distance and she turned around and smiled as I approached. That gave me some relief because the smile appeared genuine - there had been no trace of a grimace first.

"Hi, Kyle, how are you?"

"I'm okay, how about you?"

"Well...I'm alright, I suppose." Her mouth turned down at the corners.

"You don't look it. Do you want to talk about it, over coffee maybe?" I suggested.

"I'm sure you've got better things to do."

"No, really I don't. Maybe I can help." One of the things Zola had told me was to listen and to be interested in what a girl said, whatever the subject. I'd never applied that before now, but this seemed like a good opportunity.

"Alright, thank you, I'd like that. There's a coffee shop just around the corner that I go to sometimes."

"I know, I go there too," I told her. "Or at least I used to. So, you must live quite close then, if you walk Midge in the park over there?"

"Yes, just a few streets away."

I didn't tell her where I lived - it would probably intimidate her and as much as I had always liked to boast in the past, now certainly wasn't the time for that. Instead I asked her what her plans were for the day.

"I don't really have any. I have a decision to make."

"Is that why you're down in the mouth?" I opened the door of the coffee shop and stood back to let her go in first. Inside, I pulled a chair out for her and she slid into it.

"Thank you. Yes, it's one I didn't really think...well, I hoped I wouldn't have to make." She bit her lip.

"Why don't I get us some drinks and we can talk about it?" I suggested.

"Alright. I'll just have a skinny latte, please."

I went to the counter and ordered a skinny latte, a regular latte and as an afterthought, a large slab of chocolate cake with two forks. Something else Zola had told me - chocolate works wonders for girls with things on their minds. I sat down at the table and unloaded the items from the tray, placing the cake in the middle.

"I thought we'd share it," I said, passing her a fork. "Best thing for troubles."

"Oh, really, I shouldn't. I have to watch what I eat," she said with a sigh.

"A few bites won't hurt. You look perfect, you've nothing to worry about."

"Mr Kingson doesn't think so. He wants me to lose half a stone and then..."

"And then what?" I prompted. I had done exactly the same thing a few times in the past year - told girls they needed to lose a few pounds or tone up or change something about themselves. Now it made me frown.

"He wants me to do a nude shoot for a French magazine. I didn't think the agency did that sort of thing. I thought the worst I would have to do was lingerie." She stabbed her fork into the chocolate cake and transported a large bite to her mouth.

"Mostly they don't do it, but it's kind of a sideline if the price is right," I said. "You're obviously not keen."

"Maybe I was just being naive when I decided to model. I thought it would be fashion and the perfume ad thing I already did. Mr Kingson said I'll get a lot of money for it, but I don't know if it's worth it. I don't want the world looking at my...you know." Her face reddened and she dug into the cake again.

"Then don't do it," I said. "You have to think about how you'll feel about yourself. If it's going to make you feel bad or embarrassed, then say no. Da - Mr Kingson will have a dozen girls who'll do it because maybe they have less respect for themselves. The magazine will sell, a whole bunch of guys will probably...um...have fun with it...and then it'll be forgotten about, but you...if you did it...would always be thinking maybe you shouldn't have done it and maybe you'd think less of yourself if you did it only for the money or the job." I had no idea where the words that I was spouting were coming from. It certainly wasn't how I really felt, or at least not how I had felt when I worked with Dad. I'd been the first to bully a girl if she wouldn't get her tits out for the camera and here I was, telling Lindy she shouldn't do nudes if it made her uncomfortable.

"I'll probably lose my contract," she sighed and shoved another forkful of chocolate cake into her mouth. I nudged the plate with one finger, pushing it closer to her side of the table.

"Have you read all of it?"

"Yes, several times. It says that my jobs are at the discretion of the director and that I agree to undertake whatever he deems suitable for my career for the period of eighteen months."

I knew the contract well - I could remember at least three girls who had taken part in shoots against their will because they'd signed the damn document with its clever wording that a lot of them didn't really understand or hadn't read.

"Maybe I can help," I said slowly, feeling sure that I could. "Why don't you let me speak to...Mr Kingson and see if I can do something?"

"I don't know what you can do, really. I signed the bloody thing..."

"But you shouldn't have to be forced into getting your kit off if you don't want to. If you wanted to do that, you'd have approached The Sun, right?"

"Yes." She smiled at last. "Thank you, Kyle. Even if it doesn't work, thank you for offering to try at least."

"My pleasure." I gave her a grin and her smile broadened, then she glanced down at the almost empty plate.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry."

"I got it for you really."

She put the fork down and reached across the table, placing her small hand over mine. "You're a really nice bloke. There aren't many around, you know."

I felt another pang of guilt, this time for both her, thinking I was decent when I really wasn't, and also for Edward, sleeping away the day somewhere while I sat here with a girl, trying to make her like me so that I wouldn't have to be with him. I turned my hand over and gave hers a squeeze before withdrawing it and finishing my coffee. Then I took my phone out of my pocket.

"Can I have your number? I'll call you and let you know if I have any luck."

"Oh...yes, of course." She reeled off a mobile number and I saved it, then sent her a text so that she would have mine.

I stayed chatting with her until the coffee shop owner reminded us that if we were going to keep using the table, we needed to buy something else and then we got up and left. Lindy said she had some shopping to do and as soon as she was gone, I took my phone out again and called Dad. For once he answered almost immediately.

"Kyle. This is a surprise."

"I suppose it must be. I doubt you'd expect to receive a call from your son," I said coldly.

"Kyle...look..."

"Never mind. There's a reason I'm calling. Remember the brunette, Lindy, that I picked when you were away a few months back?"

"Lindy..."

"Yes, the one whose face is on the side of buses advertising perfume. The one a French mag wants for a nude shoot."

"Yes, Lindy. What about her? How do you know about the shoot?"

"She's my friend, Dad," I told him. "Maybe more than a friend."

I knew I didn't imagine the slight snort he gave before he cleared his throat and even though it didn't surprise me, it still hurt. He didn't think anybody could possibly want me, just as he himself didn't.

"And?" he prompted.

"She doesn't want to do the nude, she's not comfortable with it."

"Well, that's just the luck of the draw, so to speak. She fits with what the mag wants. She does have a contract, Kyle, you know that."

"And I'm asking you to find someone else and give her a fashion job or makeup or whatever."

"This is nothing to do with you," Dad said angrily. "She'll do the mag..."

"Maybe you'd like me to come by the offices and discuss it further," I interrupted. "I'm sure Catherine must be curious to know why I suddenly disappeared. Don't you think the girls would like to see what became of the great Rob Kingson's son?"

"You wouldn't!" he growled.

"Wouldn't I? What have I got to lose, _Dad?_ I don't have anything any more. I don't care if they all look at me like I'm a freak, the same way you did the last time I saw you!"

"Alright, alright," he huffed. "I suppose you have a point."

"So you'll find someone else for the nude?"

"Yes."

"And Lindy? Of course you won't void her contract."

"There's a lipstick ad coming up - I'll put her in for that."

"Thanks, Dad. I'll let her know." I hung up before he could respond, grinning smugly. I called Lindy right away, but her phone went to her Orange message service. I left a voicemail, telling her I had good news and asking her to call me back. By the time I had walked home and let myself back into the flat, my phone was ringing and I hushed Zola's greeting with a raised hand and quickly answered.

"Lindy!"

"Hi, Kyle. You said you had good news?" She sounded bright and hopeful.

"Da...ugh...I might as well tell you this. He's my father. Rob Kingson, I mean," I blurted.

"Oh!" She sounded shocked and maybe a little disappointed.

"Don't worry, we don't get along. He's...well, he's not very nice. But I did get a good result from talking to him. He's finding someone else for the French mag and you're going to be doing an ad for lipstick."

"Wow, really?" she cried. "Seriously, I don't have to do it? Thank you so much!"

"It's okay, it was just a phone call."

"But I owe you hugely for this. Maybe I could...I don't know, buy you dinner or something? Just to say thank you?"

"Okay, I'd like that," I agreed at once, surprised and pleased. "Listen, if he says anything different to you about the job, you will let me know, won't you? I'm sure it'll be fine, but just in case he needs another kick in the rear..."

Lindy giggled loudly. "I'll keep you updated. So this dinner...actually, I wondered if you'd like a picnic in the park. I'm waiting for my payment for the perfume ad and..."

"A picnic would be perfect," I interrupted. "Just tell me when."

"Six o'clock? I'll bring Midge too, if you don't mind. He'll probably try to steal scraps, but..."

"It's fine, I'll bring something for him to play with," I promised, punching the air with my free hand. A date! Well, almost a date. A picnic was kind of a romantic thing, so maybe, just maybe, if I played my cards right she would agree to go out with me again. We made smalltalk for a few more minutes and then I hung up, grinning gleefully, and strode into the kitchen.

"I have a date!" I announced to Zola. "A picnic with a girl."

"What about your young man?" she asked with a slight frown and immediately another pang of guilt hit me. I hadn't even thought about Edward when I'd arranged the picnic, but maybe it was for the best. I'd argued with myself about it enough and there was never going to be anything real between us - there couldn't be. All I could really do was encourage him until he said those three words and then end it. Lindy - well, she was genuinely a nice girl and a pretty one. She may not have been my usual type, but perhaps that had changed. I had enjoyed her company and I'd been delighted to do her that small favour, even if it hadn't earned me a date afterwards. Maybe something might actually come of it.

"He's not my young man," I sighed. "I'm not really...I don't know, I like her better."

"Then you'd better let him down gently, hadn't you?" Zola said with a deeper frown.

"Yeah, I know. I will the next time I see him." At least I would if the date went well. I actually cringed at this thought and I left Zola and went to my room. I could almost imagine the look on Edward's face if I told him about Lindy, but maybe it wouldn't be as bad as if I let him fall for me and then ditched him, the way I had planned.

The picnic was great fun. Lindy was completely different to when I'd seen her that morning. She was wearing a pretty blue dress and had her hair down and she smiled and laughed constantly. It was obvious that the thought of what to do about the nude shoot had really been worrying her. I had taken a tennis ball for Midge and we had both played with him until his short legs were worn out, before we enjoyed the food Lindy had packed up - sandwiches, pasta salad, carrot cake and fruit juice. It was already dusk by the time we packed everything away and it was only then that Edward came to mind again and once more I felt guilty. Regardless, I reached out to take Lindy's hand and asked her if she would like to have dinner with me on Friday night.

"Um..." She lowered her eyes and pulled her hand free and before she even said anything, I realised I had got it all wrong. "Kyle, I'm sorry, I can't."

"It's alright," I said quickly. "I get it."

"No, I don't think you do." She looked up and met my eyes. "I think you're a really nice person and I hope you can be my friend, but..."

"You don't want to be seen with me."

"Will you let me finish? I like you and maybe another time I would have said yes, but I got hurt badly just a few weeks ago. I'm not looking for anyone right now, not even for a date. I'd like to be your friend, but I'm afraid I can't promise you anything more than that."

"Oh. Okay," I said. Somehow I believed her - she didn't seem like a person who would lie to your face and it made me feel marginally better. "It's alright, really, I understand," I added. "Thanks for being honest."

"Maybe we can meet up for coffee again soon. I'll let you know if Mr...your Dad gives me any more problems." She gave me a winning smile and I returned it.

"Definitely. You've got my number, so call or text me any time you want."

We didn't part right away. Darkness had begun to fall quickly and I insisted on walking her home before I made my way back to the flat. As I strode along, I realised that my mind was no less confused than it had been earlier. Part of me was disappointed that she had said no, while the other part was relieved that I wouldn't have to hurt Edward - at least not yet.

I ran a hand over my bald scalp in an unconscious imitation of the nervous way he dragged his hands through his hair. Would he come to see me tonight? My heart skipped a little as I imagined him stepping through my window and I went to open it, turning the key and pushing it wide.

"Edward!" He was standing on the fire escape staring back at me. "What are you doing out there?"

"Well...uh...it was locked." He gave me a small smirk.

"I went out, I'm sorry," I said at once. "Please, come in." I stepped out of the way and in a second he was standing beside me in the bedroom.

"Anything important?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Where you went."

"Oh...no...I just had something to eat with a friend." At least that was the truth, I thought, taking another look at his face. He was slightly flushed, eyes red and even though I knew I should expect it, I still shivered. "I'm glad to see you."

He smiled broadly, giving me a glimpse of his perfect white teeth. I took a step closer without realising it and immediately caught the scent of him. His nostrils flared as he in turn smelled my blood and I told myself I should just get it over with. I was going to kiss him at some point and the sooner I did it, the sooner things would move forward. I lifted my hand to touch his face, resting my palm against the smooth plane of his cheek and feeling the faint warmth there. His beam lessened and became the crooked smirk, his eyes lowering and long lashes hiding his red orbs. My pulse sped up, my heart banging against my ribs and blood thundering in my ears and I didn't miss the way Edward breathed in sharply through his nose. Would it even be safe to kiss him? What if he bit me? Maybe it would be too much proximity and even though he had recently fed, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

I leaned in even closer and hovered, my lips a couple of inches away from his, giving him the chance to dart away from me if he needed to. He didn't move. He remained like a statue, arms hanging at his sides, eyes lowered, red lips slightly parted. Finally I closed the small gap between us and brushed my warmer lips over his. My heartbeat increased to such a rate that I could barely distinguish one beat from the next and a chill ran the length of my spine, raising goosebumps on my skin. It was a combination of things - the fact that he was male, he was a vampire that could kill me in seconds, the difference in temperature and something else that I'd felt before. My head spun a little as if I were drunk and my lips clung to his of their own accord when I might have backed away. I slid my hand from his cheek to the back of his neck and gripped him firmly as we kissed for the first time. I found I didn't want to stop.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

For a moment Edward's lips remained as frozen as the rest of him, but then they parted further and began to caress mine in response. He raised his hands to my sides before sliding them up and around to my chest, clutching a handful of my shirt in one as if to prevent me moving away. I didn't want to move away. I was dizzy from the kiss, even though it had only been a few seconds. I slid my free arm around him and tugged him closer until his body rested lightly against mine. The tip of his tongue teased my lower lip, encouraging me to reach out with my own to taste his mouth, another shiver of excitement and slight fear running down my spine. My tongue stroked over the cooler, smooth surface of his and for a moment I worried that I might encounter his fangs, even though I'd never actually seen any. I assumed he must retract them unless he was feeding.

A quiet moan from Edward drove the strange thought out of my head and I thrust my tongue more urgently into his mouth, crushing his lips, which were surprisingly soft, with my own. He tasted just as I had imagined - enticingly sweet - and my nostrils were filled with the scent of him. I slid my hand up from the back of his neck into his hair, stroking my fingers through the fine silk strands. His cool hand touched my neck just inside the collar of my shirt, his nails digging into my skin fractionally. I felt a firm nudge against my belly and realised it was Edward's erection, hard as steel inside his loose fitting trousers. Blood rushed to my groin in response and my cock began to fill. My rapid reaction to him startled me somewhat, but at the same time I realised that what was essentially an experiment for me was at least a pleasurable one. I tightened my arm around him as I felt a tremble run through his body, but then suddenly he snatched himself from me, jerking backwards until he bumped against the wall beside the window. He was panting both audibly and visibly, his chest heaving, his eyes now jet black.

"Um...I...um..." he stammered, and raised a shaky hand to tug through his hair before shoving both hands into his pockets to disguise his arousal. "That was intense."

"Yeah." I laughed breathlessly. "Are you okay?"

"You mean was it too much closeness?" He took a deep, needless breath and blew it out slowly. "A little. I just need to...um...take things slowly. Ridiculous, isn't it, when you think I had my first kiss at thirty-four?"

"Not really. You explained it before. Let's go and sit in the lounge." Taking a deep breath of my own and willing my heart to slow its pace, I walked out of the room and after a moment he followed. I sat in the corner of the sofa the same way I had before and Edward paused again, then toed off his shoes and joined me, his legs tucked underneath him. I glanced sideways at him, his cheeks still showing a slight flush, eyes shiny black. I longed to kiss him again and my blood continued to race through my veins at the thought, but I held back. He had asked to take things slowly and instead I suggested watching the final Bourne film. The TV was on standby and when he agreed, I merely clicked the remote control to turn everything on and start it playing.

Edward edged closer to me again until he was resting against me, his head on my shoulder. I could hear him breathing and it surprised me after I had been trying to get used to him not breathing or blinking. His shoulder moved slightly as he sucked each breath in and I felt the cool rush of air leave him, brushing my skin inside the neck of my shirt.

"Are you okay?" I asked again.

"Yes, why?"

"You're breathing."

Edward's high-pitched laugh almost deafened me and after a moment I joined in. I supposed what I had said did sound fairly ridiculous - at least it would have done if he were human.

We fell silent again and made a pretense of watching Jason Bourne's latest adventures, although most of my attention was on Edward and I guessed the same about him. He was completely still, his face angled slightly toward me and lashes lowered, but I knew he was peeking up at me - I could feel his eyes on me. It continued to make my heart pound and I sat there, gradually growing more tense as I wondered whether to kiss him again or not. I knew he could hear my erratic heartbeat and it only increased my nervousness. Eventually, however, he took the initiative himself, lifting his head from my shoulder and pressing cold lips against my cheek. His temperature had lowered and I shivered as I turned my head toward him. Green eyes met mine and after a moment I did finally kiss him.

Our lips met, tentatively at first, barely touching. Edward's eyelashes lowered to brush his cheeks and I glanced over the smooth, white planes of his face before I let my own eyes close and pressed my lips more firmly against his. Once again, that strange dizzy feeling filled me, almost immediately this time. It puzzled me and made me faintly uneasy, but I ignored it, raising my hand to cup the back of his head as we breathed in each other's scent and continued the chaste kiss. I realised I had no problem kissing a boy. I liked him, I was definitely attracted to him and my body was already beginning to react to him again, even though there was as yet no passion in the kiss. My cock was beginning to fill, lengthening against my thigh and I resisted the urge to adjust it with my free hand. Instead I slid my arm around Edward and tugged him closer, surprised when he resisted and then pulled away. I opened my eyes again as he shuffled around, changing his position so that he faced the back of the sofa, half lying across my legs so that we could reach each other more comfortably. He laid a hand over my heart and its beat increased even more. Then our lips reconnected and I melted into it, sliding both arms around him and slowly deepening the caress until my tongue was in his mouth, toying with his.

Edward responded heatedly, if that expression could be used for someone so cold, soft moans and whimpers coming from him as he crushed his lips against mine and stroked his hands over my chest. I could feel his icy touch on my skin, my shirt having been unbuttoned without me even realising it and I shivered and trembled in response. My cock was now painfully hard, straining against my fly and I struggled to breathe through my nose as the kiss went on and on, tongues thrusting against each other within Edward's mouth almost in an imitation of fucking. I heard myself groan as the thought put an image of us in my head - his pale, hard body beneath mine, our clothes gone, my cock pushing into him. It was the furthest I had allowed my imagination to go and the idea didn't shock me, but only thrilled me. I shifted my position, still holding Edward, but pushing him off my legs so that I could pull them up onto the sofa cushions, stretching out so that eventually we lay together, facing each other, the endless kiss never once breaking.

Edward was as hard as I was - I could feel it now as our lower bodies touched. He was shivering slightly, a hand continuing to roam over my chest, pausing occasionally to circle one nipple and then the other, the small nubs hardening in response to the unaccustomed and chilly touch. His erection, less restrained than mine in the loose trousers, repeatedly bumped against me and I realised he was gyrating his hips, trying to rub himself against my thigh without being too obvious about it. I pulled my head back, gasping for breath and met his eyes, black again now. My head spun and I blinked rapidly.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow?"

"I can't help it. I've never felt like this."

"Nor have I," I murmured. The dizzy, drunken feeling was suddenly more unpleasant than puzzling and I could hear rushing in my ears. My mouth was dry, my heart racing so frantically that I had to wonder if I could be suffering from the onset of some kind of attack. My cock was impossibly hard, painfully so, and the rest of my body was racked with shivers. "Fuck, I don't feel so good." The words sounded slurred and I closed my eyes as Edward's face whirled in front of me.

"Shit...Kyle...look at me..." He was off the sofa and kneeling beside it, touching my face. "Kyle!"

I forced my heavy eyelids up and instantly lowered them again, fearing that I might throw up. I could hear Edward's voice faintly through the rushing in my ears, uttering a string of expletives interspersed with 'I'm sorry' over and over. A cold hand rested on my forehead and I took deep breaths, willing myself not to lose consciousness. What the hell was happening to me?

"God, I'm so sorry," Edward said more clearly. He had removed his hand from my face and I risked another peek through half-closed eyes. My heartbeat was slowing and the room was no longing spinning around me. I blinked and focused on Edward's face.

"What happened? Did I pass out or something?"

"No. I'm sorry," he said again.

"What for?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I think so." I pushed myself up a little and rubbed a hand over my face. "Why do you keep saying you're sorry?"

"I just...I have to go." In a second he was gone. I didn't have to jump up and go to my bedroom to know that he would have already slipped out of the window and vanished and I stayed where I was, accompanied only by the sounds from the TV.

"What the fuck...was that?" I muttered. I was shivering again as if cold, goosebumps all over my body, but otherwise I felt normal. My erection had disappeared as quickly as Edward had, although my underwear felt damp as if I'd leaked precum without realising it. I hauled myself up and refastened my shirt with shaky hands, then walked into the kitchen and turned on the kettle to make hot chocolate. I sat on one of the bar stools, going over what had happened in my head and trying to come up with some sort of explanation.

I had felt oddly dizzy on a few occasions now, I remembered. Always when Edward was close to me - if I touched him in some way it had happened and when we kissed it had been so intense I'd thought I might faint or throw up. Was he doing something to me? He had repeatedly told me he was sorry. Perhaps it was a vampire thing. It made me wonder if the blonde girl, Rose, had felt this way with Emmett, but I had no answers. All I could do was hope Edward would come back the next night so I could talk to him, assuming he wouldn't avoid my questions the way he had just now.

I drank the hot chocolate and then went to my room, the shivery feeling having given way to complete exhaustion. I left the window open, just in case, but I didn't really expect to see him again that night. He had seemed upset by what had happened and I only hoped he wouldn't stay away.

I fell asleep almost immediately and when I woke I could hear Zola in the kitchen. It was late - almost noon - and I got up and went to take a shower, immediately remembering the previous night and becoming filled with curiosity. What had happened to me? It was a question I went on asking myself all day and then into the night when it became clear Edward wasn't going to show up, at least not at his usual time. I went to bed again at midnight and slept through until morning without interruption. As I lay there staring up at the ceiling, I discovered I was disappointed - not because my questions were still unanswered, but because I hadn't seen him. I missed him. I missed his beautiful face and the coy way he would peek up through his eyelashes at me. I missed his crooked smile and hysterical laugh and I missed his cool touch and the feel of his lips. Forgetting about the dizziness, the kisses had been mind-blowing.

My erection throbbed against my belly and I slid a hand down absently to capture it. What would it feel like if Edward touched me? I hadn't been able to think about that just a couple of days ago, but now I couldn't stop myself. I thought about his cold hands caressing my chest the way they had thirty-six hours before. He had teased my nipples, making them stiffen in a way I'd never experienced. I hadn't realised that part of me could be so sensitive and it made me wonder what it would feel like to have him touch the rest of me. I closed my eyes and imagined what might have happened if I hadn't had that weird episode which had caused him to leave. Maybe he would have unfastened my jeans and put his hand inside, wrapped his hand around my cock the way my own was doing now. I began to stroke myself firmly, picturing Edward's pale hand flying up and down my shaft, his other hand cupping my balls and squeezing lightly. I cupped them myself, tugging on them a little, feeling my orgasm build rapidly. I was so close already and I kicked the bed covers off, raising my knees and bracing my feet on the mattress so that I could buck my hips up and fuck my fist.

"God, Edward," I panted. The idea that I was wanking over another man didn't concern me and I simply enjoyed it, not trying to prolong things as my balls tightened, heat coiling in my belly and indicating I was seconds away. My hand increased its pace and then I came, thick strings of fluid painting my belly and chest, the last drops dribbling over my knuckles.

"Fuck!" I gasped. I wanted him. I wanted to experience this with him and I only hoped that he would come back.

That night he did come back. I hoped, but I wasn't really expecting him. Whatever had happened two nights ago had made him run away and I worried that he would avoid me. For once the TV was silent and I was using my laptop, trying to find something of interest to do when I heard a faint sound. I looked up and there he was in the doorway, eyes red, cheeks flushed, hair standing on end more than usual as if he'd been clawing at it all day.

"Edward!" I pushed the laptop aside quickly and jumped up. "Where've you been?"

"I'm sorry." He raised a hand and raked his fingers through his hair, proving me right. "I needed to...uh...think. I'm sorry about what happened the other day."

"What did happen?" I asked. "What did you do to me?"

He dropped his eyes away from mine and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"For what? Tell me what's going on, Edward!" The demand sounded harsher than I intended and he took a step backward.

"You're angry with me."

"No, I'm confused. Come and sit down, will you?" When he didn't move I went to him and reached for his hand, gripping it firmly. "I missed you," I said honestly. "Please, come and talk to me."

"Alright." He walked with me to the sofa and sat down, our knees just touching, although he pulled his hand free from mine and clenched it into a fist in his lap.

"So what happened? It wasn't the first time, was it?" I prompted. "Every time I've been in contact with you I've felt dizzy - kind of drunk. Sometimes even when we weren't actually touching."

Edward groaned and hung his head. "It's an ability we have. Remember when we talked about what I am and I explained that everything about us is designed to attract our prey? We have another...weapon in our arsenal, if you like." He stopped and licked his lips.

"Go on."

"We can...I suppose you would say 'entice' a person into wanting to get close. If they're reluctant, or we're...um...in a hurry...we use it for that reason."

"So, what? You're enticing me to get close to...?" I ran a hand over my scalp in an imitation of his nervous habit. "What do you want from me, Edward?"

"I just...I want you to want me. I didn't think you would otherwise. You seem like maybe you like me a little, but I didn't think anything could really come of it. I thought if I used my ability then you might not be able to resist. I suppose I cranked it up to its fullest extent and I didn't think about how it might affect you. God, this sounds awful. I'm so sorry," he said again, getting to his feet. "I'm just..so tired of being alone and I thought it was probably the only way that you'd really want me."

I was shocked, but at the same time what he said made sense. Maybe I would have turned on the power to make someone want me if I'd been able to do such a thing. I was so desperate to free myself from the spell that I'd do anything if it would make someone fall in love with me and in fact I had been doing just that. I'd been doing everything I could to make this poor, lonely boy fall for me, while he in turn did the same to me.

"I'll go," Edward said quietly. "All I can say is how sorry I am. You'll never see me again."

"Hey..." I stood quickly. "I didn't ask you to go." I grabbed him by the upper arms quickly in case he should flit away before I could speak to him.

"I thought you'd want me to."

"The thing is, Edward, I can understand why you did it. I mean, I didn't like the way it made me feel, but I get it. I'm sort of in the same boat here. Look at me. No one wants me like this. For some reason I still can't fathom you seem to."

"It's because I see someone a little like me," Edward said. "You seem lonely too. I already said that beauty's in the eye of the beholder. You think you're ugly and unappealing, but I don't think that. Everyone has scars of some sort, even if they're not the visible kind."

"I don't want you to leave," I told him. "I want to try this again, without you 'enticing' me."

"Really?" His face filled with hope and for the first time I realised I wasn't responding with the intention of encouraging him to fall for me - I wanted to reassure him because I didn't want to lose him.

"Really." I tugged him closer. "I want to know what it's like to kiss you for real."

His hands came to rest on my chest and I slid my arms around him, lowering them to his waist. His hands crept up to my neck and our bodies rested against each other. His eyes were down, fixed on my mouth and I angled my head slightly, moving in for a kiss before he could make a move. His lips caressed mine carefully in response to my rather hesitant kiss and I felt a chill run down my spine, but it was nothing more than his temperature that caused it. My heart pounded at a rate you would expect when you kissed someone new and perhaps anticipated what might come next. My cock began to harden steadily and I tightened my arms around Edward, holding him more firmly against my body and letting him feel the effect he was having on me. He was hard too, his erection nudging against mine, a muffled groan leaving his throat as my tongue entered his mouth. This time it was all real - I didn't feel light-headed and the room didn't spin around me. My heart didn't feel as if it were heading for a coronary, but it raced in my chest and my cock throbbed in my jeans. We were just kissing like two boys who liked each other and wanted something more and it felt good. I took a step back, taking Edward with me until my lower legs bumped the sofa. I broke the kiss just long enough to sit down, my arms still tight around Edward, making it impossible for him to do anything other than fall onto my lap, one knee either side of my thighs. He ducked his head and captured my lips again and I thrust my tongue more urgently into his mouth. I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling hard, cool flesh through the thin material of his shirt.

Edward shuffled forward a little until the base of his cock rested against the upper half of mine and I automatically began to rock my hips beneath him, rubbing myself against him awkwardly. I pulled his shirt out of the back of his trousers and slid a hand under it, stroking over his smooth skin. He pulled his head back and arched slightly, squirming under my touch and gyrating on my lap. He was panting audibly, his chest rising and falling as he breathed needlessly, his fingers plucking clumsily at my shirt buttons in an effort to free them. I removed my hand from beneath his shirt and instead began to unfasten it, my efforts no more efficient than his. By the time our shirts were slipping from our shoulders, both of us were chuckling. I leaned forward a little to pull my garment free and tossed it away somewhere behind Edward, then slid my arms around him again. He was so white in contrast to my tanned skin, his chest sprinkled with hair the same coppery shade as that on his head. Mine in contrast was smooth, but marked with the tattoos I hated so much. Edward traced the branch of a tree with one finger and then circled a nipple, pinching the nub carefully between finger and thumb until it stiffened in response.

"Shit," I hissed through my teeth, wondering if he would react the same way. I stroked my hands up and down his sides, then moved them to his chest. He was slim, but toned, his build not dissimilar from my own. I rested my hands over his pecs, my thumbs brushing the nipples and quickly discovering that they responded the same way mine did, only his felt as hard as small pebbles. I looked up at him, his lower lip caught between his teeth, eyes huge and black. I tweaked his nipples more firmly and his lip slid free of his teeth, a deep groan rumbling up from this throat. I moved my hands lower, brushing perfect abs until I reached the top of his trousers, held in place with a shiny leather belt. It was then that I baulked slightly, not sure whether to keep going. Did I really want to touch him? Would he want me to? His erection was tenting the front of his trousers, bumping against my belly as he squirmed on my lap and at the same time rubbing against mine. I longed to cum, but I dismissed the idea of taking any more of his clothes off and instead tentatively cupped him through his trousers. He felt like steel, harder than I thought possible, and I stroked lightly, causing him to shudder and moan. He stopped moving and rolled his head back, eyes closed and red lips parted. I rubbed my palm more firmly against his shaft, grinding the heel of my hand onto the tip and then sliding it lower, feeling for his balls and finding them surprisingly soft in contrast to the rest of him.

"Oh, fuck," he muttered. "Kyle..."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes. No! Fuck!"

I realised how close he was and for a moment I forgot about my own almost painful arousal and concentrated on pleasuring him, something I'd never done before. I had never cared whether my partner enjoyed themselves or not as long as I got what I wanted. I slid my other arm around him again, resting my hand on his lower back and then moving to his ass, massaging and squeezing while I continued rubbing his cock with the other. It was barely another minute before he finished. His whole body trembled and I felt him pulse in my hand, even through his trousers and no doubt underwear beneath. Dampness seeped through and I felt its chill a second before he pushed my hand off, panting and laughing, suddenly seeming self-conscious. He slid off my lap and sat beside me on the sofa instead.

"Shall I...um...do you want me to do that?"

"Do you want to?" I prayed he wouldn't decide things had gone far enough and leave. My balls ached and my cock was leaking into my underwear, more aroused by Edward's orgasm than the feel of him against me. I had made him cum and it made me feel good.

"Yes, I just...um...you must have done this before a hundred times. I don't want to...uh...disappoint."

"Edward, I've never done this before. Not with a boy and not with a vampire. It's still a first for me. Please...you won't disappoint me."

"How is it you always know the right thing to say?"

"Usually I don't." I bit my lip and shifted my butt uncomfortably. My jeans were crushing me and I was desperate for release.

"Sorry." Giving me a little smirk, Edward placed a hand over my crotch, his palm touching me lightly. Then before I could blink my fly was open, the pressure immediately decreasing. He paused for a moment and I watched, hearing the seconds tick by in my head until his long, slim fingers reached into my jeans and fumbled with my underwear, freeing the single small button and pulling my cock out of the opening. His touch was icy on my hot flesh and I shuddered and moaned, my eyes fixed on the purple tip where it peeped out of my foreskin. My heart pounded and I moaned as he wrapped his hand around me and then just held me, unmoving.

"God, Edward," I gasped. I was throbbing in his hand. As much as I longed for friction, I doubted I would have much trouble cumming if he did nothing other than hold me the way he was doing.

"I'm scared I'll grip too tight. We're so much stronger than you...humans," he whispered.

"Just...uh...let me..." I covered his hand with mine, squeezing a little until his grip tightened just enough. Then I let go. "Like that."

At last he began to move. His hand moved up to my tip, capturing the glistening wetness and spreading it downwards, rolling my foreskin back at the same time.

"Fuck...uh..." I had never experienced anything close to it. His hand moved slowly, carefully, but even that was enough to tip me over the edge. Watching his white hand around my cock, the head red and swollen emerging from his fist was exciting in itself, without the incredible feeling of cold and the gentle friction he was applying. My hips bucked up from the cushion and I came hard, painting my own belly and Edward's hand. He teased the last drops from me and then released me, his eyes fixed on the fluid on his fingers.

"So warm," he murmured.

Panting, I leaned forward and snagged my shirt where it lay on the coffee table, using it to wipe myself and then giving it to Edward to clean his hand.

"Was it okay?" he asked.

"Better than okay. Usually I can last longer than that." I grimaced as I tucked myself back into my clothes. It had been less than a minute.

Seeming awkward again, Edward reached for his own shirt and put it on, quickly fastening the buttons and tucking it into his trousers. His eyes were down and I wasn't surprised when he tugged a hand through his hair.

"You're not going to leave, are you?" I asked.

"Well...uh...no, I can stay for a while."

"If you want to...um...clean up, you can use my bathroom," I said, indicating the general direction with one hand.

"Okay. Thank you." He rose and shot out of the room and I slumped back against the cushions. He had made me feel incredible, right from the first kiss and there was not a trace of dizziness. I really did like him and it made me wonder what would actually happen in the future. If I escaped the spell, would I still be able to end things with him, or would I find myself unable to say goodbye?


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Edward stayed much later than usual. We remained in the lounge, snuggling close together on the sofa, mostly not even talking, but just being together. I wasn't actually sure what to say to him then, after the way we'd touched each other, but somehow the silence was companionable rather than awkward. Eventually we turned our attention to the television and watched whatever crap was on in the middle of the night. I didn't really notice what it was - I was too focused on the cold form of Edward resting against me, icy fingers laying on my chest and cool breath on my neck. It was only when I began to yawn that he pulled away from me and straightened up.

"I'm sorry, I'm keeping you awake."

"It's okay." I yawned again and laughed. "Sorry. I'll catch up later."

"I should go anyway. It'll be dawn in another hour." He glanced at the window and rose slowly to his feet.

"Where do you live?" I asked, following him into my bedroom, knowing he would slip away out of the window in a few more minutes.

"Not too far from here. We have an old house with a basement. There are several rooms down there that we use during the day, so there's no chance of sunlight getting in."

"Won't your family be angry that you've been out all night?"

"Probably." He shrugged and smiled. "I don't care. If you want me here, then I don't care what they say. It's not as if they can lock me up. They just tell me the same thing they've already said a hundred times."

"I do want you here," I confirmed, feeling my face warm as I remembered the way we had touched each other a few hours before. Edward's cold hand wrapped around my heat had made me cum harder than I ever had before and I felt myself twitch despite my tiredness. "Will you come back tonight?" I asked.

"Yes." He stepped closer and brushed a light kiss over my lips. Then in a flash he was gone and I was standing alone in my room, looking at the open window. I closed the curtains and undressed, then slipped into my bed.

Despite longing for sleep, I lay awake for a little while thinking. Edward's confession about 'enticing' me made a lot of sense. When I'd first met him and realised he had an interest in me, I'd thought I would have to act - pretend that I was attracted to him and maybe even steel myself to kiss him. Despite having wanted to experiment I'd still been reluctant to actually take that step, but somehow I'd grown to like him and want him very rapidly. The extreme reaction my heart and my body had to him had been more than a little frightening, and I'd been glad of the explanation. He had promised not to do it again, but despite that, I didn't really feel any differently except that the rapid heart rate and dizziness were missing. I still longed to be close to him and when I was, I didn't want to let him go. Now he was gone and I was counting off the hours to him coming back.

"Fuck, this isn't supposed to happen," I muttered. I tried to imagine how I would feel if he didn't come back and the first thing I felt was a clenching in my guts - not from horror that I may have to remain ugly, but from worry about what I would do without him. I _wanted_ him - I didn't want to consider how I would feel when it all came to an end, which it would have to eventually. He would always be nineteen and in just a few months' time I would be twenty-one and it wouldn't stop there.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. I was no longer sure what I wanted. Of course I wanted my old self back, but somehow it didn't seem as important as it had only a week ago. What did seem important was the fact that Edward could only be with me temporarily - exactly what I had intended in the beginning, but which now seemed an increasingly unhappy outcome.

Eventually I slept and again, I didn't wake until part of the day was gone. It was too late for breakfast by the time I emerged from my room and I ate lunch instead. Zola asked a few questions and I merely said I'd had a couple of late nights, but she didn't leave it at that. She wanted to know if I was in fact stringing two people along in my desperation to break the spell and I told her that Lindy was only going to be a friend.

"So you're just going to continue leading this boy on?" she asked with a frown.

"Edward. No, I'm not doing that. I like him," I admitted, turning away to hide my red face. I was sitting on the sofa in the very spot where Edward had sat on my lap while I made him cum in his trousers.

"So you'd be willing to continue a relationship with a boy later on, assuming he says those words and frees you?"

"I think so. I don't know yet, Zola, it's all too new," I sighed. I knew she disapproved - not of Edward, because her own son was gay, but of the way I was going about things. I doubted she believed what I said and it was going to take a while for me to be certain about anything myself. I definitely wasn't the person I had been just a short time ago and I realised that was Kendra's aim - she had wanted to stop me following in my father's footsteps and so far it was working. I was now beginning to see just how much I had changed.

Edward came early again that night. It had barely been dark for an hour before he slipped into the flat and appeared in the lounge where I was reading a magazine. He was flushed and red-eyed, a bright smile on his face. He sat down quickly beside me and the sofa slid back a few inches.

"Sorry," he said with a soft laugh.

We made small-talk for a little while - pointless words that I couldn't recall moments after saying them. I found I couldn't take my eyes off his red lips, watching the way they moved as he spoke, the tip of his tongue occasionally emerging to wet them. He was sitting sideways, facing me, one leg tucked under him and his knee resting against my hip. Other than that, we weren't touching and I felt a little nervous about doing so. I wanted to do what he had done to me the previous night - I wanted to feel his cock in my hand, but I was anxious about actually making the move. I could imagine myself fumbling with his clothes, clumsy and unsure the way I had never been with a girl. Besides that I was more eager for it to happen than I would have expected and my own cock throbbed urgently in my jeans, aching to feel Edward's cool touch.

I pulled myself together and leaned towards him, raising my hand to his face to guide his mouth to mine. We hadn't even kissed yet and at least that part I could manage. My lips pressed firmly against his and I quickly slid my tongue into his mouth, tasting his fresh sweetness, his immediate response arousing me further. His cool tongue thrust against mine and he changed his position, slipping both arms around my neck and pressing himself as close to me as he could get without actually climbing onto my lap. Soft moans and whimpers issued from him, muffled by our kiss, the sound making my cock leak into my underwear. Edward took one hand off my neck and I felt rapid movement between us as he unfastened his shirt in the blink of an eye, then guided my hand inside to touch his cool flesh. I stroked lightly, drawing my fingers through the soft scattering of chest hair and catching a nipple between finger and thumb. He particularly liked that and he squirmed and groaned as I pinched it firmly, giving it a little twist this way and that until the nub hardened to the texture of stone. Edward dragged his mouth away from mine, panting needlessly, and began to unbuckle his belt.

My racing heart quickened its pace even more and I breathed as fast and urgently as he was doing. He wanted things to go further than they had the previous night and already had his fly open, his erection straining against the blue boxers he wore underneath. A damp patch had formed around the head of his cock and he fumbled with the button on his underwear with shaky hands, groaning in frustration and biting his lip. He was aroused to the point of desperation and rather than make me nervous, it only added to my own excitement. I watched as he pulled his cock free at last, my eyes widening. It was white like the rest of him with faint blue veins beneath the skin, but the head was pink, precum oozing copiously from the slit. His shaft was long and thick, probably a little bigger than mine as much as I hated to admit it, and he was circumcised. I didn't think it was all that common in the UK, but I didn't really know - it wasn't as if I'd shown any interest in cocks before. Regardless, it looked good, the shape of the flared head exposed, and I couldn't wait to feel it in my hand, even though I was still nervous about it.

"Please," Edward whispered, so quietly I could barely hear the word. I hesitated another few seconds and then slowly wrapped my hand around his straining erection. It was icy - noticeably colder than the rest of him - and it throbbed in my hand, leaking more in response to my touch. It felt like steel and I moved my hand slowly down to the base, then back up, sweeping my thumb over the tip. I could see his balls, lightly covered with soft hair the same shade as that on his chest and they were tight against his body as if he was already close. I looked up at his face, his eyes hooded and as black as coal, his lip still caught between his teeth. I watched his expression as I slid my hand down again and then back up.

"Oh, fuck...uh...sorry." He closed his eyes completely, ducking his head low. "Fuck it."

I chuckled softly as his cold fluid dribbled over my knuckles and I released him slowly. His erection drooped a little and he made to pull away from me, clearly mortified.

"Hey, it doesn't matter," I said.

"I'm sorry," he muttered again.

"Edward..." I groped blindly towards the table at the end of the sofa to grab the box of tissues there. "It happens to us all, stop worrying." I pulled a handful of tissues out and wiped my hand, then grabbed more and passed them to him. He scrubbed at himself rapidly, wiping cum from his cock and his stomach, cursing at the small puddle that had landed on his thigh and soaked into his trousers.

"God, you must think I'm a complete loser," he grimaced and then giggled awkwardly.

"No, I think it's not surprising if that's really the first time anybody touched you properly."

"Yeah, well it was."

"So you'll last longer the second time."

"Don't be so sure." He laughed again and relaxed. "So...um...can I...? You look as if you're a bit uncomfortable."

I glanced down at my crotch, the obvious shape of my erection pushing against my fly. I'd almost forgotten about my discomfort when I touched him and now I longed to feel his hand on me again, but I was reluctant to make more mess in the lounge and on our clothes.

"Let's go to my room." I got up and hurried into the bedroom, pausing to close the curtains before I turned back to Edward. He was still only half undressed, his shirt hanging open and trousers unfastened although he had tucked his cock back into his underwear. I pulled my tee shirt up and off quickly, tossing it onto the rocking chair in the corner. Edward stood watching, his hands at his sides, his lower lip caught between his teeth. I felt oddly self-conscious as I removed my jeans, bending to pull them off each foot and taking my socks off at the same time. My heart pounded and I straightened slowly, all too aware that my erection was tenting my boxers obscenely and that Edward's eyes were drifting slowly down my body towards it.

"Uh...you're over-dressed," I pointed out and moved to the bed, turning my back to him briefly. I took the opportunity to shove my boxers down to my ankles and kick them off before diving under the bed covers. When I looked up at Edward again, he was naked except for his underwear, his clothes lying neatly over the arm of the rocking chair. "How do you _do_ that?" I grinned and he laughed, continuing to hover at the other side of the room.

It was probably a full minute before he walked around to the empty side of the bed, turned his back the way I had done and shed the last item of clothing before slipping under the covers. He lay down on his side, his head on the pillow just a few inches from mine. The room was lit only by the glow coming from the lights in the lounge and hall and from outside the window, but my eyes quickly grew accustomed to the dimness and I could make out that Edward's eyes were still black in his white face. I was incredibly nervous and I tried to imagine what I had done in similar situations, but really I had nothing to compare it to. I had never lacked confidence with girls - I had always known they couldn't wait for me to get my hands on them, but now that thought made my face warm. I'd had such a high opinion of myself and that fact embarrassed me now. I wouldn't be the same if I got my looks back - I wouldn't take anything for granted.

I pushed my thoughts aside, realising Edward was lying there watching me and apparently waiting for me to make a move. He hadn't tried to get closer or touch me and anxiety filled me as I wondered if he wanted me to fuck him. I might have briefly imagined it, but now we were in my bed together, naked, I knew I wasn't ready for that. I had no clue how to go about it for a start. I knew what went where, but I didn't know anything about preparation and I didn't have lube. How would I divert the situation to something more casual without making him think I didn't want him or that I wasn't up to it? I let out the breath I was holding and reached out to touch his arm, tracing the cool limb until my hand covered his. I picked it up off the mattress and placed it on my chest, then slid my arm around him. He had seemed so eager in the lounge, but now his eyes were lowered and he trembled slightly as if he were as nervous as I was. My heart pounded and I licked my dry lips, wishing I felt more confident. My erection had subsided and my cock lay limp against my thigh, much to my annoyance.

Edward slid closer suddenly, bringing his body against mine and I almost jerked away, not wanting him to feel my apparent lack of desire, but then I realised he was as soft as I was. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into my neck with a sigh.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. His lips brushed over the pulse in my neck and a chill ran down my spine. "I thought I was ready to...um..."

"Edward..." I grinned in relief and stroked my hand over his silky hair. "I'm not either. I meant for us to just...you know...play with each other. I thought we'd be more comfortable here."

"Oh!" He blew out a long cold breath and his body went limp against me. "I thought...um...don't you want to...fuck me?"

"No! Well...maybe...just not yet. I don't really know what I'm doing." My face warmed slightly at the admission. I never would have said that to anyone else. I had fumbled my way through my first time with a girl, pretending determinedly that I'd been with several others before her.

Edward pulled his head back at last and met my eyes with a smile. "Where were we?"

"We were going to...uh...see if I can last any longer than you did," I smirked.

Edward's lips touched mine and I closed my eyes, kissing him back and quickly feeling my cock begin to fill again. It was trapped between my thigh and his and it strained to get free as it hardened. I moved my leg to free it and it bumped against his icy erection, making me shudder and gasp at the same time. Edward slid his hand down between us and curled his long slim fingers around both of us together, rubbing himself against me. My skin began to break out in goosebumps as the full length of his body rested against mine - cool skin, chilly fingers stroking my shaft and his own impossibly hard erection grinding against me. I gasped and began to rock my hips forward, pushing myself rhythmically against him and feeling the wetness of precum easing the way. I lowered my own hand and joined it with his, using both to slide up and down our cocks. I knew I was going to cum embarrassingly fast - not quite as quickly as Edward had, but just a few more strokes would do it. I tried to breathe slowly to prolong it, but heat was coiling in my belly and my balls were so tight against my body they had almost pulled themselves up into it. I took my hand off and explored lower, feeling for Edward's sack and cupping him, squeezing gently. The skin was so soft, almost velvet-like, his balls tight and firm like mine.

"Oh, fuck, don't, Kyle, I'll lose it again," he panted suddenly.

"I'll probably beat you...so close..." I breathed, rolling one of his balls around between my fingers. He shuddered and lifted his leg up to give me more room. I flattened my hand, pressing my palm against him and feeling the hard ridge behind his sack with my fingertips. His hand quickened its pace and the friction and the coldness added to the feel of him under my hand pushed me over the edge. I came hard, painting his belly and coating his hand and his cock. Before I had finished pulsing, icy cum spurted from him and chilled my groin. I gasped and shivered, removing my hand from between his legs and hugging him against me instead.

"Fuck," I said breathlessly, trying to think of something coherent to say. "You feel so good."

"Really?" When I met his black eyes they looked a little surprised, but also hopeful and I wasn't sure whether he worried I wouldn't like touching him because he was male or because he was cold and not human.

"I love touching you," I said.

"Me too. I love your heat. It's been a long time since I felt warm." He pressed closer to me again, returning his face to my neck and breathing in deeply. I slid my free arm under his neck and held him tighter, ignoring the mess we had both made. We could always shower later, I thought. It might be fun to share a shower with him. He would probably enjoy the feel of the hot water on his cold body. His lips brushed my ear and my neck every so often and I stroked my hands over his chilly back and ran my fingers through his hair. He love being touched like that too and would almost writhe under my hands the way a cat would.

My feelings and the way I thought had changed so much, I mused. I had already considered this several times, but I hadn't realised quite how unlike my old self I was becoming. I had helped Lindy get out of the nude shoot she didn't want to do just because she had been so unhappy about it. At the time I had thought about what I might get out of it if I endeared myself to her and did her a favour, but I had genuinely wanted to help her get out of the job. Now I was thinking about ways to make Edward feel good and I wanted him to be happy, to feel at ease with me as nervous as I might still be myself. I was putting other people before my own wants and I wondered if Kendra was watching from wherever she was. Could she see the difference? If I changed enough, would it no longer matter if I heard those three words before I turned twenty-one?

Edward stayed with me almost all night again. At one point I dozed off, but when I woke he was still there, resting in my arms, breathing needlessly as he savoured my scent. He no longer seemed to have difficulty being so close to me and seemed to relish breathing in the smell of my blood rather than try to avoid it. When I opened my eyes he had suggested leaving me to sleep, but I was immediately alert and wanting to make the most of the time we had before dawn. We shared a shower together, spending almost an hour under the hot water and I discovered I had been right about that as far as Edward was concerned. He loved the heat and stood under it, his face directly under the spray, his eyes closed and a smile on his face. I merely washed myself and watched him and eventually he had got hard again. We spent a little while touching each other, making each other cum with vigorous stroking before washing each other and then returning to my room. I slid back into the bed and Edward dressed and got ready to leave.

The next few days passed in much the same way. He would come to be as soon as he had fed, as soon after dark as he could manage. We would spend most of the night in my bed, not progressing any further than what we had done already, but enjoying the feel of each other's bodies, kissing and touching and cuddling. The more I did it, the more I liked it and I did begin to think seriously about taking things a step further. The idea no longer scared me and I'd even gone as far as to buy lube from a sex shop and stock up on condoms even though I wasn't sure whether they would be needed. I would never have contemplated having sex with someone without protection before now, but my current situation wasn't exactly normal. Edward wasn't human - his body was essentially dead so I doubted he could catch or carry anything, even if he had been with anyone before, which he hadn't. I wasn't sure and I thought it was probably something we should talk about, although I had no idea how to raise such a subject with him.

I knew Zola was growing increasingly suspicious of the strange hours I was keeping. I told her that Edward worked at night and slept in the day so it was difficult for us to find time to be together, therefore I had changed my own schedule to suit him, but I wasn't so sure she believed me. She didn't ask many questions, but if she had, I wouldn't have known what to say. I couldn't exactly tell her the truth, even though she believed in witchcraft and various supernatural phenomena. How could I tell her I was dating a vampire?

Dating. I grinned to myself. I supposed we were sort of dating. We had never been out together and all we ever did was watch TV and talk and touch, but it was the closest it could be to a relationship. Whatever it was, I was enjoying it more and more as time went on and I knew that my plan of making Edward fall for me and then dumping him when the spell was lifted was now long gone. I didn't want to finish with him and I didn't want to think about the fact that I would grow older and leave him behind. I decided to just enjoy it while I could and try not to over-think everything.

I switched on my laptop while I waited for Edward to arrive that evening. It was only just dusk so he would be at least an hour or two and I hesitantly typed 'gay sex' into the search bar. Things weren't going to progress unless I made an effort to at least learn something. I was sure Edward must know more than he let on, but if and when we began to progress things, I didn't want to rely on him guiding me. Red-faced, I opened an article which seemed more like an instruction manual than a porn site and read about lube, foreplay, preparation, where the prostate was and various positions. I spent some time on it before I closed the site down, wiped my search history just in case someone should hack into my laptop and look at what I'd been doing, and then switched the machine off. If anything, I felt more nervous than I had when I knew nothing and I sighed heavily as I sprawled out on the sofa waiting for Edward. I had never in my life before imagined sex would be so complicated, at least in my head.

I had no reason to worry, at least that night. Edward didn't turn up. I waited until one o'clock in the morning before I gave up and went to bed, my heart plummeting. The extent of my disappointment was surprising and I didn't sleep for a couple more hours after I lay down, my eyes fixed on the open window, still hoping that he might appear. I fell asleep eventually and when I woke in the late morning, I knew he hadn't come to me. There was no dent from his head on the other pillow and I felt sure he would have lain next to me if he had been there.

Saturday was an incredibly long day. I didn't know what to do with myself and found I was snapping at Zola the way I had months before when I was that other person I thought I had left behind.

"Did you fight with him?" she asked me as she disposed of the plate of lunch I had barely touched and brought me a mug of fresh coffee instead.

"No."

"Something must have happened."

"It's nothing," I sighed. I didn't want to admit to her that I hadn't seen him for one night and I missed him. I would sound pathetic - I _felt_ pathetic. I finished the coffee and went out, sending Lindy a text to ask if she wanted to meet up. She was my friend after all and perhaps she would cheer my up, but I was out of luck. She was having her hair done ready for a photo shoot and didn't think she would be finished until the evening. I didn't suggest meeting up then - I needed to be home by dusk to see Edward. He had to come tonight, surely. There were a few days before where he had missed coming, but he always appeared again the next day.

I wandered aimlessly around the park and sent my old mate, Terry a text before I thought twice about it. I hadn't seen him since before I was changed, of course, and had ignored the few messages he had left for me asking where I was. Now he didn't answer and I was relieved that I wouldn't have to try to fob him off with an excuse about why I couldn't see him after all. Instead I went home and spent an hour working out, took a shower and forced myself to eat the meal Zola had left for me for the evening. I watched the light gradually slipping from the sky outside the lounge window and my pulse quickened as I waited.

"Where are you, Edward?" I muttered aloud as nine o'clock came and went and there was no sign of him.

"I'm here." His voice came from the door behind me and I leapt up and spun around. My heart raced and I knew I had a stupid grin on my face that was almost splitting it in two. I restrained myself from rushing at him with difficulty.

"I missed you last night," I admitted.

"I missed you too, I'm sorry." He moved from his position near the door and his chest bumped mine in the next second, his hands sliding around my neck. His red eyes glowed and he brushed his lips lightly over mine. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him against me.

"Do you have a phone?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry, I should have given you the number. It wasn't safe for me to see you last night," he said. "I was hunting with Alice, but we were almost caught. It shook us up and we went home without feeding. I felt okay, but I didn't dare come here in case I got thirsty."

"It's alright." I stopped talking and covered his mouth with mine. His response was urgent, almost desperate and he moaned into the kiss as I plunged my tongue into his mouth. At once I felt his erection growing and nudging against me and my own cock filled and rose between us. I wanted to at least try taking things a little further than they had gone so far and I drew my lips away from his and met his eyes.

"Come to bed with me," I whispered breathlessly, my heart hammering. He nodded at once, giving me a little coy smile before he stepped out of my arms and turned to walk into the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Edward had stripped naked and was in my bed before I even got my shirt off. He lay on his side, not watching me and I wasn't sure whether his haste was down to eagerness or nerves. I quickly undressed and slid into the other side of the bed, edging closer to him until our noses were inches from each other. I slipped my arm around his waist and drew his body against mine, his icy erection immediately prodding my stomach and rubbing against my heated shaft. He moaned softly and closed his eyes. I angled my head, bringing our lips together and his parted at once, fitting perfectly to mine. I kept the kiss gentle and sensual for a minute, enjoying the feel of every point where we touched - his cool, soft lips caressing mine, his hand on the back of my neck stroking my skin, our cocks pressing together between our bellies. Mine throbbed impatiently and I felt a droplet of cold fluid leak from Edward onto my tip. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and he responded at once, crushing his lips against mine and digging his nails into my flesh a little harder than was comfortable. I slid my lower body away from his just enough to get my hand between us, but to my surprise he broke the kiss and caught my wrist, preventing me from touching him.

"Edward?" I opened my eyes and met his shiny black orbs.

"I want to try something...if that's okay."

"Okay," I agreed at once. If he was going to take the lead with something, at least it gave me a little longer to collect myself. While I was kissing him I'd been thinking of only what I was doing and the feel of him against me, but I was still well aware that things were going to go further tonight and my heart was slamming against my ribs, my body trembling slightly.

Edward threw the sheet down to the bottom of the bed and rolled me onto my back and I watched him through half-closed eyes as he stretched out beside me again on his front. A few strands of bronze hair fell over his forehead as he bent his head toward me and I shivered in anticipation. His lips touched my shoulder, so lightly that I barely felt the cold brush over my skin. I continued to watch as he worked his way over my collarbone and down to my chest, placing a trail of tiny cool kisses all the way down to my left nipple. I breathed in sharply and then out again, sounding as shaky as I felt. The corner of Edward's mouth twitched up into a smile and then his lips parted and surrounded the small nub, sucking on it until it stiffened eagerly.

"Fuck," I hissed. His tongue circled the nipple and I felt a gentle bite, his teeth pulling at me experimentally until I whimpered in slight discomfort. He released me at once and worked his way across my chest to the other side, lifting his upper body from the mattress and bracing himself with one arm. He kissed and sucked on the other nipple for a minute or two and then moved again, extending his tongue and tracing a cool path down the middle of my chest to my abs. I squirmed beneath him, my heart racing and fists clenching at my sides. My cock strained upward from my belly, a thin string of precum leading from its tip to my happy trail. My hand twitched in my longing to grab it and start rubbing myself, but I left it where it was on the mattress and watched as Edward's head moved lower, his tongue teasing my abs and making them clench and quiver. My toes curled and I ground my teeth, panting audibly. His tongue was two inches away from the tip of my cock and I had to sink my teeth into my lip to stop myself begging.

'Please, Edward, suck me.' It was in my head, but I managed not to say it. Instead I lay silent and trembling as his lips moved to the left again, kissing their way over my hip to the top of my thigh. I moaned and gyrated my hips, unable to keep still any longer. My cock was so hard it was painful, my balls tight against my body. Precum continued to ooze from me and I wouldn't have been surprised if I came without him even touching me. The lightest of kisses on my skin was creating more stimulation than I would have thought possible and the grin on his face told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me. He raised his eyes then, meeting mine with a smug look before he turned his attention back to my body.

I glanced down again, watching his mouth tease my thigh and then shifted my gaze to his body. He was resting half on his side next to me, knees bent, his erection quivering against his belly and leaking onto the sheet. He seemed to be getting as much out of what he was doing as I was. Just as I was about to open my mouth and voice my feelings, he rolled up onto his knees and bent over me, finally wrapping his hand around my erection. I groaned loudly, continuing to watch as he rolled my foreskin back and leaned down, drawing the swollen head of my cock between his lips.

"Oh, fuck!" I gasped. I knew how his mouth felt on mine, but it was entirely different to having it around my cock. Moist coldness encased me, gradually taking a little more of me in, his tongue flattening against my shaft and applying pressure to the throbbing vein in the underside. I shuddered and writhed, stretching my arms out to the sides of me and gripping the edge of the mattress. Edward's free hand cupped my balls, squeezing gently while the other stroked up and down my length, his mouth following it tentatively until I felt his throat swallow around me. He had taken in my entire length and the feeling was indescribable.

"Edward..." I breathed. "Fuck...don't..."

His mouth left me quickly and he raised his head to meet my eyes. "Don't you like it?"

"Oh, God...yes...I'm just gonna...uh..." I forced myself to breathe slowly, struggling to fight off my orgasm. "I'm gonna cum...I didn't know if you...uh..."

He grinned wickedly and in a second the tip of my cock was in his throat and his lips and tongue were working me vigorously, his hand gripping tighter and pushing me over the edge. It took seconds and I arched up off the bed, my cock pulsing repeatedly as it emptied in long spurts. I felt his throat muscles working as he swallowed, his hand continuing to stroke and squeeze until I was drained, panting and shuddering, my limbs boneless.

"Fuck...Edward..." I panted. He sat up and crawled to my side, lying down close to me with his head on my shoulder.

"Was it okay?"

"Jesus." I licked my lips and drew in a lungful of air. "I've never felt anything like that. It was...amazing. Are you sure you haven't...done this before?"

"Positive. I suppose I just have a good imagination." He moved his head and his lips touched my jaw. "I like the way you taste."

"Do you want me to do that?" I asked. It wasn't actually something I'd thought about - sucking him - and I wasn't sure I would like it. I thought I would probably gag if I took more than an inch or two of him in.

"You don't have to. I like your hands on me," he said. He shifted his position slightly and his erection jabbed my hip and smeared precum onto my skin.

"Just give me a minute," I gasped. I wanted to do more than give him a hand-job the way I had been doing and I considered the options while I got my breath back. Even after spending so long reading that website, faced with an aroused male body beside me I was still embarrassingly clueless. I knew what to do in theory, but putting it into practise was a different matter.

'Jesus, Kyle, just go with it,' I told myself and then glanced at him, hoping I hadn't said it aloud. He was merely watching me, a warm and hopeful smile on his face, eyes black with his arousal. I rolled onto my side and lifted my hand to his face, stroking my fingers along his cheekbone and then over his ear and into his hair while I gave him a light kiss. His lips parted and I ran my tongue along the inside of them, tasting what could only have been my own cum - a little salty, a little sour, but not horrible. Maybe I could do it after all, assuming he tasted like that, but there was something else I'd decided I was going to try.

I began by exploring his upper body, stroking my hand over his chest and pinching his nipples the way he liked until they were as hard as marble. He turned onto his back and lay shivering under my touch, his teeth biting into his lower lip and his eyes closed, soft whimpers and groans coming from him as I slowly made my way further down his body. His cock was behaving much the same as mine had, straining up from his stomach and leaking, the head swollen and pink while the veins throbbed beneath the skin of his shaft. His fingers twitched at his sides, clawing at the bedding and his thighs trembled.

I traced the ridges of his abs with my fingertips and then moved lower, ignoring his erection and running my hand from the top of his thigh to his knee and back up. He groaned and his legs slid apart as if he were offering himself to me. I stroked back down to his knee again, this time exploring the flesh of his inner thigh, delighted by the way his leg quivered and his cock jerked on his belly.

"Please, Kyle," he whispered.

"Please what?" I prompted, brushing one finger over his sack and immediately feeling it tighten and pull up against his body.

"I need you to touch me...please." The last word was a whimper and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"My turn to try something," I said and his eyes snapped open as I leaned over to the bedside table and opened the drawer. His eyes widened further as he watched me remove the bottle of lube and release the seal on the top. "I'm just going to touch you, Edward," I added, in case he still wasn't ready for anything more.

"Okay." He licked his lips and lay still, closing his eyes again to my relief. I didn't want him to watch my fumbling attempts to please him and I didn't even know if he would like what I had in my mind to try. I squeezed some of the lube into my left hand, smeared it over my palm and then grasped his erection, slowly sliding my hand up and down and rubbing my thumb over the tip. The lube made a soft wet sound and Edward groaned loudly, bucking his hips up a little to push himself more firmly into my hand. I continued to stroke him, tormentingly slowly with only a gentle grip while I applied more lube to the fingers of my right hand. His legs were spread, one knee drawn up a little, and I lowered my hand between his thighs, tentatively extending one finger and stroking the ridge behind his sack. He breathed in hard, shuddering under my touch and I paused, unsure of whether he wanted me to continue or not.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

"God, yes." He raised his other knee and moved his feet apart on the mattress, spreading himself open for me. I bit my lip and changed my position, kneeling between his feet so that I could see better what I was doing. His tight, faintly pink hole was visible to me, the flesh puckered and the area surrounding it completely devoid of hair. Considering his chest was hairy and his legs were reasonably so, I would have expected there to be some growth between his legs, but there wasn't a single whisker behind his sack and I wondered if he shaved himself, or waxed. I stroked my finger over his perineum again, back and forth, grinning as he shivered and squirmed, his cock throbbing in my hand. Slowly I circled his hole and rubbed the tip of one digit back and forth over it, noticing it tighten and twitch. It looked so tiny - I couldn't imagine being able to fit a finger into him comfortably, let alone my cock if we got to that.

Edward moaned helplessly, his entire body trembling and I gripped his erection more firmly although I didn't increase the pace of my hand sliding up and down it. Experimentally I pushed the tip of my finger against his hole and watched in fascination as he opened up and drew me inside. My finger disappeared to the second knuckle, immediately squeezed tight in his icy tunnel.

"Fuck!" I gasped.

"God, Kyle. I'm so close. A little more...please," he begged.

I pushed deeper, reaching into him as far as I could before withdrawing almost to the tip of my finger. I thrust back in more firmly, hoping I wasn't hurting him, but he groaned and pushed himself against my hand, encouraging me to keep going.

"Another...please..." he hissed.

I withdrew the finger again and hesitantly added a second, sliding both into him together. There was slight resistance when I breached the tight ring of muscle inside him, but then I was pressing deeper, curling my fingers upwards the way I had read about on that website.

"Oh...fuck..._Christ!"_ Edward arched up off the bed again, his muscles gripping my fingers almost painfully and his cock jerking in my hand, shooting its load onto his chest and shoulders, only just missing his face. Grinning, I pulled my fingers out of him slowly and stroked him through the last few seconds of his orgasm before releasing him. He was panting hard, his chest rising and falling rapidly and I moved to his side. He stretched his legs out and lay spread-eagled, trembling.

"Was it okay?" I asked, repeating his own words after I'd cum in his mouth.

"Fuck, yes! I wish I could have lasted longer. I can't seem to control myself when you touch me."

"Have you ever touched yourself like that?" I asked curiously and Edward grinned and lowered his eyes.

"Yes, but it wasn't the same. It's not easy to reach your own prostate."

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around him. "Well, we have plenty of time. Maybe we can do that again later."

"Please." The word was a groan and he turned toward me, pressing his face into my neck. "I want you so much."

"I want you too, Edward." I hugged him tight against me and for a while we lay together, the only sound being my own breathing although I knew he could hear my heartbeat and every little sound my body made that was impossible for the human ear to catch.

Some time later we touched each other again. We stayed in the position we had adopted, facing each other, Edward's leg draped over my hip. Our erections rubbed together while I lubed up my fingers again and pushed two of them into him, fucking him gently while he ground himself against me. He lasted a little longer this time and when he started to get close, he backed up just enough to get his hand between us and wrap his hand around both of our cocks, stroking them firmly until we came almost at the same time.

Drained and panting, I lay there weakly holding him in my arms, thinking we should get in the shower and clean the sweat and cum off ourselves, but I didn't want to move. All I wanted to do was sleep, but eventually it was Edward who pulled away, grabbing my hand and tugging me to my feet. We stood under the hot spray of the shower together, me with my eyes closed leaning against the tiles while Edward washed both of us thoroughly. I managed to towel myself dry and stagger back to the bed where I collapsed, pulling him down into my arms again.

"Stay with me a little while," I murmured.

His answer was just a soft sigh as he nestled closer, pressing his face into my neck and wrapping a cold arm around my chest. I stroked my fingers through his hair for a minute as I struggled to keep my eyes open, but then I stopped fighting against sleep and drifted away.

When I woke, it was still dark and Edward hadn't moved since I fell asleep. His body was still molded to mine, his arm around me and his mouth against the side of my throat. He was hard, his erection digging into my hip and my own twitched against my belly. He sensed instantly that I was awake and moved his head back a little.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, your cock did," I teased, sleepily lowering my hand to circle it and give it a squeeze. He let out a quiet giggle and pushed himself against my palm.

"I should go and leave you to sleep."

"I don't need sleep, I need...to cum." I almost said 'I need you', but I felt awkward about expressing my feelings to him. I wasn't completely sure it wasn't just the aftermath of sex talking.

"I thought humans were lacking in stamina," Edward grinned.

"Apparently not." I rolled him onto his back in one quick move, finding myself lying between his thighs. He pulled his legs up either side of me and slid his arms around me, stroking his hands over my ass. I shuddered and took a little of my weight on my knees, rolling my hips to rub my cock against his. He moaned softly and bucked up against me, the feel of his icy erection making goosebumps break out along my spine. He took one hand off me and reached out for the lube and I watched as he squeezed some into his palm, wondering what he intended to happen next. He pushed me up a little and slicked the cool substance onto both of our erections, enabling them to slide together more easily and then his arms folded around me. I began to move again, rocking my hips forward almost as if I were fucking him, pushing my cock harder against his and wondering how it would feel if I was thrusting it into him. I remembered how his cold tightness had felt around my fingers and my heart pounded, my shaft throbbing eagerly at the thought of being encased within his body.

"God, I want you," I panted. "I want to..." I broke off with a groan as my balls tightened against his, my orgasm building much faster than I wanted or expected.

"I want you to fuck me too," Edward whispered. "Next time." He was as close as I was, his body shaking beneath mine, his nails clutching at me and causing sharp pains in several places as if he were cutting through my skin. I thrust myself harder against him and a few seconds before I came, I felt his cold fluid spurt from him onto my cock and my stomach. When I finished, I let my weight sink onto him, not sure I could summon the energy to roll off and lay at his side.

"Fuck, that was good," I gasped. "I can't last five fucking minutes with you, though."

Edward laughed breathlessly. "Do you really want to fuck me?"

"Yeah," I said without hesitation.

"Then we'd better get each other off first or it's going to be the fastest sex in history."

"Cheeky bastard."

"I'm worse than you," he grinned, slightly shame-faced.

I slid off him reluctantly and resumed my position at his side, my arms tugging him close to me. He tucked his face into my neck and moved his lips over my pulse. I heard him breathe in sharply and he emitted a low groan.

"You smell good."

"There's something wrong with your sense of smell," I said drowsily. I could smell sweat and cum and knew I needed another shower, but I was incapable of any further movement. Edward's lips slid over the throbbing vein in my neck again and I closed my eyes, a smile on my face when I was reminded that I had a vampire in my bed with his mouth right over my carotid artery. It didn't worry me any more - I knew he would never hurt me.

When I opened my eyes again it was daylight and I immediately knew something was wrong. Edward was still with me, his body molded to mine and his arm tight around me. I was lying with my back to the window and the sun was shining through the open curtains at an angle. I could feel its warmth on my shoulders and I forced my brain to work to figure out what the problem was. Edward! Fuck! Why was he still here?

I pulled my head back and looked at his face, which appeared completely serene, his eyes closed and the lids a faint shade of lavender. His lips were pressed together and he was completely unmoving.

"Edward?"

There was no response and when I rubbed my hand up and down his back, he still didn't move. He was asleep and if I moved away from him, the sun would land on his icy skin and burn him.

"Oh, God," I groaned, my heart beginning to race with panic. All I could think of was to push him backwards, keeping my body pinned to his until I was able to slide him off the bed onto the floor. The sun wouldn't reach him then and I could get up, close the curtains and cover him up with something in the hopes that fabric was enough to protect him. I had no idea - we had never talked about it.

I tried to move and immediately discovered a problem. He was a dead weight, stiff and immovable, literally like a corpse in an advanced stage of rigor mortis. His arm clutched around my waist prevented me from pulling back and he was too heavy and rigid to slide across the soft mattress without me at least sitting up. I tried again and managed to shuffle him backward an inch or so, but then I realised all I had succeeded in doing was bringing his arm into the direct line of the ray of sun which shone into the room. Several things happened at once.

I heard a sizzling sound, similar to bacon frying and I smelled burning - a hideous odour that I knew immediately was Edward's flesh. His eyes snapped open, wide and black and his mouth opened to let out an ear-splitting scream. He shot away from me in a second, flying backward off the bed until he smashed into the wall and dropped to the floor, a small area of plaster crumbling and falling down with him. I saw a blur as he exploded out of the room and then heard several crashes coming from the direction of the lounge. The screams didn't stop - if anything they grew louder and more agonised and I threw myself off the bed, rushing into the other room. The lounge curtains were closed, but in addition the window faced west and wasn't at risk of direct sun.

I watched in horror as Edward flew from one side of the room to the other, crashing into the walls and cracking the plaster, smashing the coffee table to smithereens as he tripped over it. It seemed to go on and on, but in reality it must have been less than a minute before he collapsed on the rug, shaking his arm the way you would if you'd punched something and hurt your hand. Smoke rose from his forearm and I took in the charred flesh, red and black, wet-looking and obviously excrutiatingly painful. The rest of his body was so pale it almost appeared translucent and his lips were blue.

"God, Edward," I groaned, dropping to my knees beside him. "What can I do? How can I help you?"

His eyes were glazed, jaw clenched and he was emitting moans and whimpers, twisting his head from side to side like a mad person.

"Stay away from me!" he hissed suddenly, extending his uninjured arm to push me. The palm of his hand slammed into my shoulder and I landed six feet away from him on the wood floor.

"Edward..."

"Leave me! I'm...a danger to you...I need..." The words broke off to allow another slightly subdued scream to leave him. "...blood," he finished.

"Will that heal you?"

"Kyle...go. Get out of here. Please." His face was pained and not only from the agony he suffered. "I'd never forgive myself."

I stayed where I was, crouching on the floor looking at him, my heart racing and my mind struggling to keep up. He was in agony and the knowledge was like a punch in my guts. I had to do something to help, otherwise he would sit here all day, in terrible pain, until the sun went down again so that he could hunt. I immediately thought of his family and wondered if there was something they could do.

"Can I call your family?"

"No! They're sleeping."

"Edward, let me help you. I can't bear to see you like this."

"There's nothing...you can do. It's my fault...I just didn't...want to leave." His head hung and the uninjured arm which supported him as he sat with his legs curled under him, began to give way. He slumped onto his side, holding the burned arm off the floor. I had never seen such a hideous injury in my life and I couldn't imagine the pain he must be in.

"There is something I can do." I crawled slowly toward him again. "You need blood. Take some of mine." I was trembling with fear at the thought of him feeding from me, but it wasn't as bad as the thought of him suffering any longer. I felt the most over-whelming need to do anything I could to make it better for him and the strength of that feeling startled me.

"Don't be stupid, Kyle," Edward hissed. "I could kill you."

"I won't let you sit there like that all day." I reached him and slid my arms under him, taking care not to touch his arm as I used all my upper body strength to lift him up until his head rested against my shoulder. "Take what you need, Edward, it's okay."

"You're..fucking insane."

"I...care about you. Let me help you."

He gulped audibly and breathed in hard, his nostrils flaring. "Are you...sure?"

"Yes."

"I'll try not to...take too much."

I held my breath as he moved his head, my eyes on his mouth as his lips parted to reveal elongated fangs. The tips looked razor sharp and I trembled at the thought of them puncturing my neck. A few seconds ticked by and then his head turned again and I felt a sharp pain at the join between my neck and my shoulder. His lips covered the wound and I closed my eyes, not wanting to look any more. My pulse sped up to an almost impossible rate and I could feel my chest vibrating with the pounding of my heart. My neck tingled and I could feel my blood leaving my body with each draw of Edward's mouth. It was a peculiar sensation, but at the same time it began to have a surprising effect on me. My cock stirred between my thighs and rose until it touched my belly and I heard myself groan with pleasure. I felt dizzy, a similar feeling to that I'd experienced the first few times I'd been with Edward when he had used his 'enticing' power on me. Gradually his body began to warm up, but as it did so, I began to shiver. I felt cold and a little shaky and as this feeling increased, my cock subsided again. My arm slipped from Edward's back and hit the floor and my head drooped, my upper body slumping forward. I could still feel the strong pull on my neck from his lips and hear the gulping sound of him swallowing my blood, but it was the only thing I was aware of. My head spun and my limbs grew heavier and colder until blackness closed in on me and my awareness left me completely.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

I could hear voices in the distance, muffled and distorted as if I was under water. I couldn't make out the words or who was speaking and when I tried to open my eyes to see, my eyelids were too heavy. I felt dizzy and almost as if I were floating. It made me wonder if Edward had used his ability on me again, despite his promise not to. I tried to move and discovered my limbs were as heavy as my eyelids, but my tongue moved in my mouth and I parted my lips.

"He's coming round!" a female voice exclaimed, much clearer than the mumbled sounds previous.

"He's going to need another litre, Alice, will you bring me one?" a steady male voice asked.

"Here you go," the female answered a second later.

In the background I became aware of other sounds - someone sobbing as if their heart was breaking. A deep voice speaking, but too low to make out.

"Come on, Edward, pull yourself together. How many times did we warn you?" a different female demanded.

The crying was coming from Edward, I realised. What the hell had happened? I struggled to remember - I had been in bed with him, kissing, touching, rubbing against him, imagining fucking him. Then we fell asleep together, or I fell asleep and he stayed with me. He stayed longer than he should and the sun burned him. I fed him. Now I was surrounded by people I didn't know, he was in tears and I was becoming aware of discomfort in my left arm and a sharp pain in my neck. I tried again to open my eyes, but it wasn't going to happen. I made an attempt to speak instead.

"E..." I paused and licked my lips. "Ed..."

"Kyle!" Whatever I was lying on shifted slightly and a cold hand touched my arm.

"Edward, be careful! Move away!" the male who had asked for the 'litre' ordered sternly.

"Kyle...oh God, I'm so sorry...I n-never meant to hurt you like this...I...I...I lost c-control...I..." he stammered through intermittent sobs. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, but I couldn't lift my hand to reach out to him.

"Ed..." I forced out again, but it was as much as I could manage. Even with my eyes closed, I was aware of the room spinning around me and I fought against nausea.

"Emmett, Rosalie, get him away, please," the other male requested.

"Carlisle, _please,"_ Edward choked.

"Now! You're still thirsty. Take the car and go home. Emmett, stay there with him and Rose, you can come back for us in an hour."

"You want me to stay?" the first female voice I had heard asked.

"Yes, Alice."

"Carlisle, please, I need to see he's okay," Edward begged.

"He will be."

"No thanks to you," Rosalie said. "You heard what Carlisle said. You're coming with us."

"Don't do this!" Edward exclaimed and I felt the sofa - I realised it was the sofa I was lying on - move again. I made another attempt to open my eyes and this time was able to lift them enough to see a narrow slit of what was going on around me. Edward was being wrestled away from me by Emmett, the big vampire who had warned me off that night so long ago. Edward was red-eyed and distraught, alternately wringing his hands and clawing at his hair. Alice, the small dark girl stood by my feet and another man I'd never seen, a little older and blond-haired, presumably the one named Carlisle, was sitting on a chair close to my head. A tube was attached to the inside of my left elbow, its contents dark red and I raised my eyes to see a bag of blood hanging above me on a coat hanger suspended from a picture hook.

"Edward," I managed to say. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry!" he cried out and then I saw him disappear out of the door, propelled through it by Emmett. The tall blonde slammed the door closed behind them and he was gone.

I blinked, trying to focus on the blond man's face. "Who are you?"

"My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor. Alice here, and Edward and the others are my adopted children."

I tried to raise my head, but a cool hand touched my shoulder and pressed me back against the cushions. I looked down at my body and noticed I was covered to the waist by a blanket, much to my relief.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"Dizzy. Weak."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Edward got burnt." I flinched at the memory. "This isn't his fault, I asked him to feed from me. I couldn't bear to see his pain."

A small cold hand found mine and held it. "It's true," Alice said.

I looked at her curiously, but couldn't think of the right question to ask. "This isn't his fault," I repeated.

"It most certainly is his fault," Carlisle told me. "I don't know exactly what Edward has told you, but he's been warned, many times, to stay away from you."

"It was an accident waiting to happen," Alice put in. "He's...I don't know, it seems as if he's addicted to you. He's not safe to be near a human like this for long periods."

"He was fine!" I interrupted. "He'd come in my room and sit watching me sleep. He said he was getting used to being near me. He's never hurt me before and he wouldn't have if he hadn't got hurt himself."

"And why did he get hurt? Because his feelings made him stay when it wasn't safe for him," Alice continued. "This has put all of us in danger. The sun is blazing down out there."

"How did you get here then?" I asked.

"We have a car with blackened glass. Luckily your building has an underground garage, as does ours, otherwise we couldn't have come and you'd be dead."

"Alice, that's enough," Carlisle said quietly. "Kyle, I've given you three litres of blood. Alice is right, you wouldn't have survived this if Edward hadn't called us. It just goes to prove that what we've been saying to him can't be ignored. The pair of you are a danger to each other."

"Emmett and Rosalie managed," I remembered.

"Emmett was considerably older than Edward when that happened," said the doctor. "He had exemplary self-control. Yes, we did warn him that it wouldn't do him any good, but he wouldn't leave her. It worked out for them in the end. It's not going to work out for you and Edward. How can it?"

"I suppose...I've worried about that myself," I admitted.

"I told you," Alice put in quietly.

"What?" I twisted my head to look at her and she just shrugged and gave me a thin-lipped smile.

"It's against everything I - we, believe, to change humans into what we are," Carlisle said. "Emmett went ahead and did it himself anyway and we accepted it, but that won't happen again. Even if that was something you wanted, Edward isn't yet strong enough to change anyone."

"I didn't say I wanted that!" I gasped, trying to sit up again. This time I managed to pull myself up until I was half sitting.

"Then what's the point?" asked Alice. "Are you going to admit that to us?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned. There was something odd about her, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Nothing," Alice sighed.

"There's no future for you," Carlisle continued. "This could only ever be temporary until you age away from him. We move around a lot. After this, I think it best if we leave London sooner rather than later. Edward is already hurt and I don't want to see his heart broken when time separates you. Not to mention the problems we've already experienced this morning. I won't risk either him or you..."

"He's nineteen - or thirty-four, whichever way you want to look at it," I said. "Doesn't he get a say in this?"

"We all have to listen to Carlisle sometimes," Alice said with another odd smile. "He's been here much longer than any of us and he knows what's best for us. All we want is to keep Edward safe and I'm sure you want that too - don't you?" She let go of my hand and moved away.

"Of course I do," I said at once. "It killed me seeing him in pain like that."

"Yes, sadly it almost did," Carlisle sighed. "Kyle, you need to forget about him. You won't see him again. We'll be leaving London tonight and you won't hear from Edward any more."

"You can't stop him if he wants to be with me," I argued.

"Yes, I can."

"I think his guilt will keep him away in any case - amongst other things," added Alice. "He hates himself for what happened to you."

"God," I groaned. "I told him to take what he needed! Please, let me talk to him."

"You need to rest. As I said, we're leaving tonight. I would suggest you put this behind you and get on with your life."

"I care about him!" I protested.

"It's not going to happen."

I went on arguing with them. Alice said very little else, but she was watching me in a rather disconcerting way and I had a strange feeling that she could see inside me. She couldn't possibly know how things had begun between Edward and me, with my plans to make him fall for me to rid myself of the spell. However, if she really could see into me, all she would be able to see then was my heart aching for Edward as I desperately tried to persuade Carlisle that I would do whatever they told me to keep Edward safe, if only they would let him stay. The more they argued with me, the more determined I became to see him again, but it was obvious that I wasn't going to win. They were going to take him away from me.

An hour passed and the blood transfusion ended. Carlisle removed the canula and stuck an Elastoplast over the tiny wound, then helped me to sit up properly. Alice had been in the kitchen for the past few minutes and she appeared with a plate of sandwiches, a large slab of Zola's latest chocolate cake and a glass of milk. She placed them on the floor beside the sofa in the absence of the coffee table, which lay in a heap of fragments on the rug.

"You need to eat and get your strength up," Carlisle told me. "You'll be alright now, but you'll also need to sleep. I should stay longer, but I need to attend to my family."

As he said this, Rosalie stepped through the door, hands on hips.

"How's Edward?" I asked at once.

"Much as you would expect," she said through her teeth.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's very upset. Emmett's trying to make him feed from some of the supplies, Carlisle, but he won't take it."

"Then we need to get back and quickly." The doctor picked up my wrist and checked my pulse, then rose swiftly to his feet. "Kyle, it might be a good idea for you to see your regular doctor tomorrow morning. Ask him to check your blood pressure and explain that you passed out, something that has never happened before. Otherwise, eat and sleep. You'll be better in a few hours."

I nodded numbly. "Can't I at least say goodbye to Edward?"

"That's not possible. I'm sorry. You must forget about him."

Before I could say anything else, the three vampires had left the apartment, not through the window of course, but in the lift which would take them down to the car park. I picked up the glass of milk and gulped some to relieve my dry mouth, then continued to finish the glass in the hopes that it might help me regain my strength. I felt a little shaky and weak, but the dizziness was gone.

"God, Edward," I groaned when I put the glass down. I knew I should eat too, but I couldn't face even the chocolate cake. I felt something I'd never felt before. I was lost and hurt and I ached for him. The few nights I hadn't seen him, I'd missed him and longed for him, but now, knowing he was going to leave London and not come back, made me feel as if a hole had been punched through my chest. I gasped in shock and leaned back against the cushions again. I had lost him and all I could think about was the way we had been last night before I fell asleep. I thought about the way he felt in my arms, the way his cool lips caressed mine and the sound of the soft moans he made when I cuddled and stroked him. I thought of the mind-blowing orgasm I'd had when he took me in his mouth and how it felt when I pushed my fingers inside him, imagining that it was my cock.

I sniffed hard and realised with some surprise that I was crying. Tears dripped from my chin onto my chest and I reached for my phone, quickly selecting Edward's number from the contacts list and pressing 'call'. His phone went straight to his answer service, indicating it was switched off and I closed my eyes with a sigh, scrubbing a hand over my wet cheeks with irritation. My fingers brushed the staples on the bridge of my nose and one of the worst scars and I was almost surprised to find them there. In the last few days I seemed to have forgotten about them, at least when I was with Edward. He made me feel normal - attractive and wanted. Now he was gone and I would stay like this - a hideous monster who most people ran from. I found I didn't even care.

I spent the rest of the day lying on the sofa, flicking through the TV channels and finding nothing that captured my interest. I nibbled half-heartedly at the food Alice had prepared for me and I tried calling Edward so many times that I lost count. His phone remained off and when darkness fell, I moved to the bedroom and lay staring at the open window, hoping that he would come back. He had been so determined to be with me - surely he would come back, even it was only to say goodbye.

Hours crawled by and I listened to the sounds of London outside the window. I tried calling him again in the early hours of the morning, but all I heard was the automated answering service for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Please come back." I whispered. "I need you, Edward."

He didn't come. Eventually I fell into a restless sleep, lying naked on top of my bed covers, tossing and turning until I woke again at dawn, over-tired, my head pounding and my heart aching. He hadn't come back.

I rolled over and snatched up my phone, checking for missed calls or texts, but finding nothing. I punched 'redial' and held the device to my ear, holding my breath as I waited for it to ring. Again, the answer service.

"Fuck!" I swore, hauling myself up. I was desperate for a piss, a shower and some strong coffee. Zola would be arriving in a few more hours and I needed to do something about the living room, which I knew looked as if a tornado had ripped through it. She would ask questions I had no idea how to answer.

I forced myself through my morning rituals, ignoring the stubborn erection I had woken with until it subsided in the middle of me brushing my teeth. Then I used the toilet, showered and shaved and pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms. I made my own coffee rather than wait for Zola and then cleared away the remains of the coffee table and swept up the fragments of plaster in several places, wondering how I could explain the dents in the wall. I would have to call a workman in to get them fixed and tell her...what the hell could I tell her? I'm dating...I _was_ dating a vampire, the sun burned him and he went crazy and smashed the place up? No.

My phone rang and I thrust my hand into my pocket, my heart racing as I hoped fervently that Edward's name would be on the screen.

"Please be Edward," I whispered as I turned the phone over.

'Zola Calling.'

My heart sank and I answered with a grunt.

"Hello, Kyle, it's Zola. I'm sorry to call so early."

"It's alright."

"I'm sorry to let you down. My youngest child is sick, I need to stay with him."

"It's fine, Zola, don't worry about it. Stay at home and look after him," I answered immediately.

"Are you sure? I can maybe get there in the afternoon..."

"You don't need to do that. Take all the time you need," I said firmly. "I'll get take-away for dinner. Don't worry about your money, it'll be the same as always."

"Thank you, Kyle. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."

"I hope your son's okay," I told her. "Goodbye, Zola."

I hung up and put the phone back into my pocket. Was he gone already? Had Carlisle taken his family out of London as soon as darkness fell?

I set about clearing up the mess and then dug out the Yellow Pages, ringing several plasterers until I found one who could come over that day to fix the walls. I told him not to bother with a quotation, but just to turn up with his equipment and get stuck in. Then I made myself more coffee and tried ringing Edward once more.

"The number you are calling is no longer in service."

"Fuck!" I hung up and tried again, hoping that somehow I had got the wrong number, even though I'd selected Edward from my contacts.

"The number you are calling is..."

I ended the call and hurled my phone across the room with a cry of anguish. It smashed into the wall and made another small dent in the plaster, shattering on impact and falling to the ground in pieces. He was gone. I'd lost him and I felt lost myself.

I reminded myself of the things Carlisle and the others had said. Edward and I had no future. I had told myself that exact thing several times, knowing that I would age and leave him and I'd pushed the thought aside, wanting to enjoy the here and now instead. Surely it was better for it to end now rather than later when it would hurt more? Why had I even let myself get close to him like this? He was supposed to be an 'antidote' to the spell. He was supposed to fall in love with me and whisper those three little words in my ear so that I could go back to the way I had been, only it hadn't worked out that way at all. Suddenly I didn't want my old self back - I wanted Edward. Somehow in just a short space of time, I had turned the tables on myself.

"I love him," I said in wonder. "I love Edward."

I was barely aware of the rest of the day passing. The plasterer arrived and spent a few hours fixing the walls in the living room and my bedroom, asking once what had happened and then giving up and getting on with the job when I didn't answer. I paid him in cash and he left. I realised I hadn't arranged to see my doctor the way Carlisle had requested, but I shrugged that thought aside. I felt fine physically if you didn't count the pain in my chest and the choked feeling I got whenever I thought of Edward, which was all the time.

I ordered Chinese food to be delivered and picked at the dishes without interest, then went to my room early and once again lay watching the open window until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. He wasn't coming back.

The next morning I summoned a decorator to paint over the small areas of fresh plaster, relieved when Zola called again to tell me her little boy still needed her. He had a forty-eight-hour stomach bug, but she promised to return the next day, expecting him to return to school then. The decorator did his job in just over an hour and again I paid in cash. Zola would be none the wiser when she returned. I opened all the windows to let out the smell of emulsion and roamed around the flat aimlessly, wondering what I was supposed to do with myself. A tiny part of me decided I had to try to find somebody else before my time was up and I baulked in horror at the idea. Find someone else? It seemed impossible - not because no one else could bear to look at me, but because I didn't have any interest in doing it.

When Zola returned the next day, as observant as she was, she immediately noticed something was wrong with me. Apparently I looked the same way I felt - pale and lost. I told her I'd been ill too, but she looked at me sceptically and asked when I'd last seen Edward.

"A few days ago. He...uh...he had to go away," I said, trying to sound as if I didn't care. My voice hitched slightly and Zola's eyes narrowed.

"Did you fall out?"

"No."

"You broke up with him?"

"No! I'd never have done that!" I blurted and felt myself flushing. "I mean...well, it couldn't really work out."

"Do you want to talk about this?" she offered kindly.

"Not really. He's gone and that's that. Maybe I finally realised what's important. This..." I indicated my face. "...fuck it. I'm sorry, Zola."

"You love the boy," she stated. "Then why is he gone?"

"His...uh...his family moved away."

"So he doesn't feel the same?"

"He does...I think...but..." I sighed heavily. "Please don't ask me anything else. I can't talk about it." I chewed my lip. I couldn't tell her he was a vampire who almost killed me.

"Alright, Kyle, but you know you can talk to me if you change your mind - any time you want."

"Yeah, thanks."

She didn't ask what happened to the coffee table, but I saw her glance at the empty space where it had been positioned and I reminded myself to purchase a new one. Perhaps it would be the only piece of furniture in the flat that would be to my taste. It made me feel tempted to get rid of everything else and buy what I liked, but I couldn't be bothered, at least not now.

It was a week before I got round to doing anything other than wallowing and forcing myself to eat the meals Zola made so she wouldn't keep questioning me. It was obvious from the looks she gave me that she felt sorry for me and wanted me to talk to her, but I couldn't do it. Edward was on my mind constantly and the first thing I did when I went outside, was buy a new phone and install my existing SIM which I'd rescued from my old phone. I tried Edward's number, even though I knew I was going to get the same message. I couldn't reach him and unless he contacted me, there was nothing I could do.

I went into a furniture shop and chose a coffee table - a mahogany one with a fancy pattern on top and clawed feet. It was so different from anything Dad would have chosen that I laughed as I walked away from the shop, the table paid for and delivery arranged for the following day. Then I rang the only other person I might be able to spend time with who could take my mind off things. I rang Lindy and discovered she was free. She agreed to meet me in the park and I walked there quickly, my spirits lifting slightly.

I arrived first and went to sit on the bench where I'd been when she came to talk to me that day. I waited just over ten minutes before Midge scampered toward me with Lindy in pursuit, dressed in jeans and a sleeveless top. She sat down beside me and after a few minutes she was telling me about the lipstick ad she was doing. Dad had been true to his word and she hadn't been asked to do anything else she didn't want to. I kept on prompting her to talk to avoid having to say much myself. I did my best to listen to everything she said, but I knew I was distant. Eventually she turned to look at me and touched my shoulder.

"Kyle, are you alright? You're really quiet and sort of...not with it."

"I'm fine," I lied.

"You can talk to me if you want," she pressed. "You were my shoulder to cry on that day, remember?"

"I don't need a shoulder to cry on," I grunted.

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind..." She broke off and bent to pick up Midge's ball to throw it for him. When she straightened up, her attention was caught by a blonde girl heading in our direction and I watched as she drew nearer.

The girl was exactly my type, or at least appeared to be from a distance. Her long golden hair was held away from her face at the sides and she wore a strappy top and very short denim shorts, long tanned legs bare and slip-on shoes on her feet. She had a beautiful face and a bright smile, blue eyes and plump lips, a figure exactly right.

"Do you know her?" I asked Lindy.

"She's my friend, Katie. Hi, Kate! I didn't expect to see you today, don't you have to work?"

"I took a couple of days off." Katie dropped to a crouch to pet Midge, glancing up at me. Her brows drew together slightly, but she didn't look in any way horrified.

"This is Kyle," Lindy said. "The friend I told you about."

Lindy talked about me? I had to wonder what she had said.

"Hello," I said hesitantly.

"Hi." Katie lifted a hand and offered it to me to shake, which I did, noticing well-manicured nails and a pretty silver bracelet.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too." She continued to look at me, eyes roaming over my face with apparent curiosity rather than revulsion. Then she turned her attention to Lindy. "I'm not stopping, I was on my way to see Andy." She rose again and my eyes were treated to the long shapely legs right in front of me. She spoke to Lindy for another minute or two and then said goodbye to both of us and walked away.

I leaned back on the bench and looked down at myself, wondering if I should tell Lindy about Edward. Probably not a good idea. If she knew how much I hurt over him, she'd probably guess I'd got to know him when I was trying to get her to go out with me. It was all too recent.

I heard a beep and fumbled for my phone, wondering who could be texting me in the middle of a weekday. I felt a tiny flutter in my stomach with the faint hope that it might be Edward, until I realised it was Lindy's phone. She was reading a message and grinning.

"It's from Katie," she said.

"Did she forget something?"

"She...uh...she thinks you're 'interesting'. She wants to know if you'd like to meet up and do something - coffee or lunch or whatever." Lindy giggled slightly. "Sorry, I feel like a matchmaker. I didn't ask her to come and meet us, just in case you're wondering."

"I'm surprised she'd look twice at me."

"Kyle, not everyone's the same," Lindy said. "I told you before, you're a nice man and if things had been different for me, I would have said yes. So what shall I tell her?"

"I...uh...I thought she was on her way to see someone called Andy?" I remembered.

"He's her brother."

"Oh. I'm...um...I need to think about it," I prevaricated.

"Okay. Is there someone else?"

"No." Edward was gone, but he wasn't gone from my heart. Katie was exactly the type of girl I liked and astoundingly she seemed to like me, but all I could see was myself going through the motions, pretending interest in her in the hopes that she would free me from the spell while I longed for Edward. I didn't want to do that again and hurt somebody else.

"Sorry, Lindy, I can't," I said awkwardly. "There's someone else I want, I just don't know if I can have them."

Her eyebrows rose and she flushed slightly. "Kyle..."

"It's not you," I said with a smile and gave her arm a squeeze. "I met someone, but they...uh...moved away before anything could really happen. I suppose I'm just hoping there's still a chance."

"I wondered what was on your mind." Lindy tapped out a quick text and put her phone away. "So are you going to tell me about her?"

I glanced at her, biting my lip, wondering what she would say if I told her even part of the truth. "Him," I murmured. "It's...um...a man."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"You're gay? But..." Lindy's eyes widened.

"Uh...no...I suppose I'm bi." I felt myself flushing under her surprised stare. "I...uh...I was curious in my teens, but I never did anything about it then."

"So...this man...is an experiment?"

"Not exactly." I rubbed a hand over my head, wishing I hadn't said anything. "When I met him I had the idea of maybe...testing the theory, but I suppose in the end I found out I liked him more than I expected to."

"So you were dating, then?"

"I wouldn't call it that. We just hung out together and...uh...fooled around..."

"You slept with him?" Lindy gasped. She didn't looked shocked, just surprised.

"Huh," I grunted. "Not in the way you mean. It's not really important. He's gone now. His family left London and they won't be coming back."

"Can't you keep in touch?"

"No," I sighed.

"I'm sorry. What was he like?"

"Around my height and build, green eyes, sort of bronze hair that stuck up everywhere like he'd had an electric shock. He had this crooked smile where only the left side of his mouth would move and when he laughed he sounded a bit crazy. He was funny and shy and very - I don't know what word you'd use - cuddly."

Lindy smiled and murmured something that sounded like, "Aww." I imagined she would have liked Edward if she met him, although obviously that wouldn't have been possible. "What's his name?" she asked.

"Edward."

"You really liked him," she stated.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry he left."

"Me too." I felt depressed suddenly and I knew I would be rotten company now. I excused myself, saying I had some things I needed to do. Lindy stood up with me and much to my surprise, gave me a hug.

"Any time you want company, give me a ring," she said.

"Thanks, Lindy. I'll see you soon." I left her and walked home, spending the rest of the day aimlessly watching television and thinking about Edward.

Why had I gone and fallen for him? It wouldn't have mattered if that last night hadn't happened. He'd still be here. Why had he stayed, knowing he was putting himself in danger? He hadn't been able to tear himself away, and yet he must have known the consequences. If he hadn't been burned, he would have been trapped in my flat all day and then woken thirsty. It made me want to blame him, but I didn't have it in me to be angry with him. I just missed him. I longed to see him appear silently, joining me on the sofa and snuggling up to me, teasing my neck with his still warm lips. I missed the cool feel of him in my arms, the sweet smell of him, the taste of his mouth. We had only just started getting physically close and I'd wanted more - so much more with him and now it was over.

I went to bed early and lay awake staring out of the open window as usual, listening to the sounds of the city and wondering where Edward was. Where had he and his family gone? Were they even in England or had they left for Europe, or somewhere else? I tried to imagine him, hunting with the others, eyes black with thirst and then red later until the blood had absorbed into his body. Did he think about me too and miss me? Did he love me?

Eventually I fell asleep, but I was restless, tossing and turning and waking at intervals. I turned my head and glanced at the rocking chair in the corner of the room, then blinked rapidly and rubbed at my eyes when I realised it was occupied. I jerked upright in the bed and peered through the darkness at the figure sitting there, but as I took in the long blonde hair, my heart sank.

"Kendra," I sighed.

"Hello, Kyle."

"What are you doing here?"

"I've been watching..."

"I thought you might have."

"You've changed a lot - for the better."

"You think this is better?" I snapped, suddenly furious. "What the fuck was the point? I spent months trying to find someone who could look at me without running away screaming. Finally I find someone and he doesn't care - he doesn't care that I look like this and now he's gone! I don't want to go through this shit again, Kendra, even if I could find somebody else..."

Katie came to mind at that moment and I shook my head, unable to even think about trying to date her or anyone.

"...I don't want anybody else," I continued. "I wanted Edward. You got what you wanted. I changed. I don't give a shit about this any more. I don't care if I frighten the life out of the people I meet or turn their stomachs. I'm not going to hear someone say 'I love you' before the deadline you set, so if you're not going to reverse it, why don't you just go to hell and leave me alone!"

"You love him," she said quietly.

"Yes, I love him! Does he love me? Does that even count, if he thinks it but doesn't say it? I don't care, Kendra, because he's not here, is he? So what does it matter how he feels?"

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm sorry it turned out this way. I can't reverse it, as much as I might want to. When a spell is cast with a specific point to it, it must continue until..."

"I don't care," I interrupted. "Like I said, you got what you wanted. I'm different. And I fucking hate it."

"You will get through this," Kendra said, sounding pained.

"Like Dad did, you mean? You dying turned him into what he is now and that was twenty years ago. He's never been in a relationship since. He has an endless string of one-night stands..."

"I know. I tried to help him..."

"You tried to make him change, but it wasn't him you cast a spell on, was it?" I said bitterly. "What kind of mother are you, to do this to your own son? Maybe I wasn't the way you wanted me to be, but what the hell gave you the right to interfere? At least I didn't feel...like this."

"I'm sorry, Kyle," she said again. "I thought I was doing what was best for you. I still think that you're a better person now. I've seen the way you treat your housekeeper and your friend, Lindy. I saw the way you were with Edward - gentle and loving. That was what I wanted for you."

"Well it wasn't what I wanted for myself!" I growled. "Will you just leave? You already said you can't reverse this, so just get out of here. I don't want to see you again and I certainly don't want you lurking around spying on me!"

She rose from the chair swiftly and moved toward the door. "Alright, Kyle. I'll go. I won't watch you, but I will be around. If you need me, just call and I'll come."

"I won't need you," I muttered. "Why would I, when all you've done is cause me pain?"

In another second she was gone and I flopped back against the pillows, surprised to find that my cheeks were wet with tears. What was I supposed to do now? Go on the way I was, alone? Isolated from the world with the exception of Zola and Lindy? What was I meant to do with my life? I knew I didn't want to go on doing nothing and live off the funds Dad regularly transferred to my account. When he'd first banished me from the home in Maida Vale and the business, I'd been too angry and upset to want to do anything and I didn't see why he shouldn't support me at least financially, but I didn't want to go on like that any more. It was one thing I was certain of. I had no clue what I would do with myself, but I was determined to find something. At least that way I would be in control of part of my life.

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I stayed awake trying to think of possible business ideas that wouldn't involve me actually going out and meeting people. An Internet-based business would be ideal, if only I could think of something that might work. I had already dismissed a handful of ideas and decided to spend more time on it the next day, searching the Internet for suggestions. There was one idea that repeatedly pushed its way into my mind, which I'd rejected and as much as I didn't feel I could actually pull it off, it put a temporary smug smile on my face. I could see myself working in competition with my father. I still had all the contacts and I'd be willing to bet that Catherine would jump ship and work for me if I asked - assuming my appearance didn't put her off. I would run everything completely differently to the way Kingsons was run, however. I wouldn't belittle the models, insult them and hurt their feelings, telling them to starve themselves into being the next size zero.

The majority of the population wasn't perfect and it now made me shudder when I thought of the way I'd vetted potential models and girlfriends alike - mentally criticising their hair colour and style, their breast size, whether they carried themselves well, the way they sounded when they spoke. I'd written off countless girls who were probably lovely people and many models whom the average woman would most likely love to see advertising a dress or some lingerie they'd like to see themselves in. What normal, plain-faced, size 14 housewife would feel confident in buying the latest satin push-up when it was modelled by a 32AA with the face of an angel?

Again, I pushed the idea away. I didn't really have the confidence or the inclination to start up a business of that scale, even though it would occupy enough of my time to make it difficult to mope about dwelling on what I'd lost.

I rose early and went to take a shower, examining myself in the mirror for a long time afterwards - something that I hadn't done in months. I could see the faint scars on my neck from Edward's bite - two tiny marks where his fangs had punctured my skin. I instantly remembered how it felt - the sharp, but brief pain and then the pull of his mouth drawing my blood from me, my heart hammering in my chest, pumping my life force faster toward the point where he was withdrawing it. I'd initially become aroused, my cock painfully hard until I'd begun to feel weak and light-headed.

I was hard now, I realised, and I pushed away the thought of him feeding from me and instead thought about the times we'd lain in my bed together, touching each other, rubbing against each other's bodies. I remembered the way his mouth had felt on me - icy cold, moist, his lips and tongue pulling at me firmly until I came.

"Fuck," I muttered. My balls ached and I was leaking precum. I wrapped my hand around my shaft and backed away from the mirror to sit down on the toilet lid. It was pointless and would only make me miss him more, but I closed my eyes and let my thoughts go where they wanted while I began to stroke myself, rubbing my thumb over my exposed tip and gathering the oozing fluid to use as lubricant.

I pictured myself in bed with Edward, forcing myself to get over my nerves of taking things further. I knew what to do - I'd read about it in enough detail. He lay beside me, his leg draped over my hip and his icy erection bumping mine, his green eyes watching me, trusting me. My fingers were slick with lube and I reached down, feeling for his hole, gently pushing one finger in and pumping it slowly until he was used to it, his lips forming a single word in a whisper - "More."

I withdrew the finger and then entered him again with two together, gently stretching him and watching his eyes turn black with desire, cold fluid leaking from him onto my skin.

"Oh, God," I hissed, stroking myself faster. "I wanted to fuck you so badly."

I imagined how he would feel, his body gripping my fingers, tight and cold and slick. In my head I added a third finger to make sure he was stretched enough and that I wouldn't hurt him. I didn't even know if a vampire could feel pain that way, but I did it anyway just to be sure. He writhed against me, bucking his hips, trying to fuck himself on my fingers.

"I'm so close, Kyle. I need you to fuck me." I could hear the words in my head as clearly as if he were in the room with me, whispering them in my ear. My balls were tight against my body, the base of my cock throbbing and I slowed down determinedly, tugging on my sack and breathing deeply, eyes closed as I continued the fantasy in my head.

I withdrew my fingers and reached for the lube again. Edward rolled away from me onto his back, his knees drawn up and spread, offering himself to me. I coated my cock in the slick substance and rose to kneel between his thighs, positioning myself and pushing carefully against his hole. The pale pink ring opened up slowly to take me in and I pushed my hips forward, watching as my length began to disappear into his body, his icy tunnel gripping me tightly.

_"Fuck!" _I came hard, hot spurts splashing onto my chest and stomach, the last of it dribbling over my knuckles as I carried on stroking through my orgasm, my groans and gasps loud in the small room. I sat panting for a minute or two, coming down from the high before I opened my eyes and came back to reality. Then I grabbed a towel to clean myself up, shaking my head at the pathetic image I must be presenting - sitting alone in the bathroom, wanking over someone I was never going to experience this with.

It took me a couple more days to get myself together enough to actually do anything. I moped and then I got angry. I was angry with myself for behaving exactly like the weak people I had always despised and I set about making changes to the flat first. I had a secondhand furniture shop come to take a look around and remove anything they thought would sell. I was happy to say goodbye to the sofa, the black and chrome units and the obscure black and white prints on the walls. I let them take the bed too, although I kept the mattress, intending to find a new base for it that would be more in keeping with what I actually liked. Zola was surprised when she came in to find me sitting on the living room rug with my laptop, the only items of furniture being the mahogany coffee table and a storage unit in the same wood that I'd quickly purchased to stand the TV on.

"Kyle, where's the sofa? And the other things?"

"I sold them," I said. "I hated all that stuff. It was my dad's choice, not mine. This is my choice." I pointed at the coffee table and then a large four-seater sofa I'd found on a furniture shop's website. It had wooden feet and inserts in the arms and the cushions were covered in plush velvety fabric in a variety of colour choices. "I like the red," I told her. "What do you think?"

"It's very nice," Zola answered. "I'm glad you're making some changes. It's nice to see you taking control of things."

"I was being pathetic," I said wryly.

"No, you were hurt. It's okay to miss someone, if you love them."

I glanced at her and then returned to the laptop. "I'm going to order this. There's a foot stool that goes with it and maybe one armchair too. It says they can make them to order and deliver in two weeks."

By the time Zola brought me a plate of lunch, I had spent several thousands of pounds of Dad's money on new furniture including an ornate, carved bed. I had also ordered curtains for the bedroom and living room - heavy velvet drapes with thick black linings to keep the sun out. I knew Edward wasn't coming back - I _knew _ it - but if he did, I wanted to make sure he was safe if he stayed too long.

I saw Lindy again at the weekend. She was at a loose end for the next week and we went to the cinema together and then for pizza. I realised it was nice to have a girl who was just a friend. I could be myself and she later told me that she felt the same. With boyfriends she had to worry about every little detail and with me, she could relax and say what she felt like saying, lounging with her feet up in her oldest jeans, her hair scraped up into a messy bun with random strands falling loose when she moved. I'd never had a real friend like her - the people I had called my friends in school had been hangers-on, wanting to be the 'in crowd' or wanting to avoid me being unpleasant to them. Terry had been the closest thing I'd had to a friend, but I supposed even that wasn't real. We hadn't been in touch with each other in months with the exception of a single exchange of texts. He didn't care that I wasn't around any more and hadn't even bothered to find out where I was and what I was doing.

A couple of weeks passed and I was still considering my options with regard to a business. I had finally invited Lindy to my flat and she was sprawling on the brand new sofa, stroking the plush fabric and telling me it was perfect. On first inspection, she had gasped over some of the things which were clearly top of the range and expensive, but she quickly accepted it. I even admitted that I'd been living off Dad's hand-outs for the past few months and as we grew closer, I wondered if she would believe me if I told her the truth about my appearance. She hadn't asked again, but I knew she was curious. She'd told me about the boyfriend who had hurt her, dating her for a year and telling her he was in love with her before she discovered he had cheated on her on two separate occasions. I hadn't really told her anything important apart from what I'd said about Edward.

"Have you heard from him?" she asked suddenly almost as if she'd read my mind, swinging her legs to the floor and reaching for the mug of coffee I'd made for her a little while ago. "Edward?"

"No. I don't think I will." I'd been trying to convince myself that I was getting over it, putting my time into other things, but he was still there in my mind, almost constantly, especially at night when I lay in bed before falling asleep, staring at the window and longing to see him slip through it into my room.

"I'm sorry."

"I'll get over it." I pulled my own legs up and crossed them in front of me, turning sideways to face her. "Can I tell you something? You might find it hard to believe."

"Of course." She moved again, adopting an identical position to me, facing me with the length of two wide cushions between us.

"It's about...this." I vaguely indicated my face. "Obviously you haven't seen the rest of me, but this tattoo..." I touched the branch of a tree which disappeared under my tee shirt. "...goes down to my waist and around my back and chest. I didn't do this to myself. It was...uh...you won't believe me." I sighed heavily and ran a hand over my head.

"Try me."

"It's kind of...supernatural. It's stupid."

"Kyle, after my grandma died, I kept seeing her for a year. She had a favourite chair and she would always be sitting in it - sort of blurry and a bit see-through. She'd sit there smiling and ask me when I was going to do something with my life. I've only seen her once since I got the contract with Kingsons and she said she was proud of me. Is that supernatural enough for you?"

"Wow," I uttered, surprised. "I suppose...maybe you will believe me. It's a long story."

"I've got all day. I know Zola made carrot cake yesterday and it's my favourite."

"Give me a minute." Grinning I sprang up and went to the kitchen, fetching two large slices of carrot cake. I passed her one of the plates and sat down again. "So...it's mostly about my mother. Her name was Kendra and she died when I was a toddler. My dad was heartbroken and he never got over it - that's why he's such a bastard now. He blamed her for dying as if she left him on purpose. It was easier for him to be angry than to give in to being miserable."

"I'm sorry about your mother," Lindy said.

"Thanks. Well...she was a...a witch. Not a bad one, I don't think. Every so often I've seen her, since I was four years old, like she's been watching over me. Then a few months ago she spoke to me and told me that I was turning into my father and that I had to change or my life would be miserable, like his. She didn't like the person I was becoming and she...uh...cast a spell."

"She made you like that?"

"You remember what I looked like before? I interviewed you at Kingsons and probably made you feel about this big." I held up a finger and thumb about two inches apart.

"You had blond hair," she remembered. "When I asked you about...your face, you said it was an accident."

"Yeah, well Kendra did this. She told me I had to find someone to love me for who I am, not what I look like and I had to do it before I turn twenty-one. If I succeeded, the spell would be broken and I'd have my looks back."

"Oh, my God!" She looked shocked, not disbelieving. "How could your own mother do something like that?"

"She says she thought she was helping me."

"How long have you got left? Before your birthday?"

"A few months. My birthday's in January." It was only just over three months away, I realised. I had forgotten about time when I'd become so close to Edward.

"So when you first talked to me in the park..?"

"I went about everything the wrong way," I groaned. "I'm glad you said no. I was still a bastard then, like my dad. I wanted to find someone - anyone - to fall for me and free me from the spell and it wouldn't have mattered who it was. I wasn't even sure about being with a man when I met Edward, but he seemed keen and I thought I could..." I broke off with a groan and hung my head. "I thought I could encourage him until he fell for me, so I would be free from the spell. Then I'd dump him. I didn't bargain on falling for him along the way. I don't even know how I could have considered treating someone like that. I deserve everything I get."

"No you don't, Kyle." Lindy shuffled forward until she could reach out and touch my knee. "You're not that person any more. I can see it. You're nothing like the man I met at Kingsons. You're caring and considerate and funny. Maybe you started out wrong, but you've changed. I know you care for Edward."

"Yeah, but he's gone and he's not coming back. I don't care about the spell any more," I said. "If I stay like this, so be it. I lost the one thing I really wanted and I suppose it serves me right."

"I'm sorry." She gave my knee a squeeze. "You will find somebody else one day and it won't matter it you're still scarred. Edward saw past it and so did Katie."

"I suppose. He used to say beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

"He was right."

"I think we should change the subject now." I was feeling sad again and I could see myself spending the rest of the day talking about Edward until Lindy was bored rigid. I decided to tell her about my idea for a modelling business and see if she thought it was worth pursuing. Despite my conviction that I didn't have it in me, it was the one thing that repeatedly came to mind and it was at least worth using Lindy as a sounding board before I wrote it off completely.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Lindy was encouraging when I told her my ideas for my own modelling agency. I was still doubtful about it, but I began looking into how I would go about it, investigating the costs of renting an office, advertising and so on. If I started off small it wouldn't be too costly and I knew I could get the money to start up from Dad. I'd spoken to him once recently and he'd told me I should be finding something to do with myself and that he would fund it, as long as he didn't have to have anything to do with me. He didn't say that in so many words, but it was clear that he meant it.

Two weeks later I called him and told him I had an idea for a new business venture and I wasn't too surprised that he didn't ask for any details. I knew he would rather not speak to me at all if he could avoid it and he merely agreed to what I asked for and within twenty-four hours, the money was in my account and there was nothing to hold me back except my own somewhat fragile confidence.

I wasted another week before I looked into office rentals more seriously and eventually signed up for a year's lease on a space which consisted of two offices, a conference room, an area laid out like a lounge and of course kitchen and bathroom facilities. It seemed ideal in the short term and once that was done, I ordered suitable furniture, had business cards, letterhead and other items printed in the simple name of Kyle's Beauties which I had now registered, and finally ran an ad, asking for models. I wasn't sure how well any of this would work out, but I had the Kingson name in my favour and I knew it would be likely to at least open a few doors. Finally I called Catherine, my old PA.

"Kyle! This is a surprise," she said. "Your father's not here."

"Good. It's you I wanted to talk to. This is a bit out of the blue, I know, but I'm setting up my own business. I want to know if there's a chance you'd come and work for me again."

I heard a gasp of surprise. "Well, I have a...a contract..."

"I know you do, I helped write it. You're only required to give thirty days' notice. I can match what he's paying you for the moment, although you'd be more than a PA. I need a kind of...manager. Obviously your salary would increase if and when things go well."

"Well, I...uh...I'll certainly think about it," she said doubtfully.

"I'm not the same person I was the last time you saw me," I added. "Both physically and mentally. I'm not my father's son any more. Maybe you could meet me for coffee to discuss it and then you can just think about it and let me know."

"Alright," she agreed after a brief pause. "I have to say, I'm curious, about both you and the business."

I let Catherine suggest a coffee shop for our meeting and went there to meet her after she finished work for the day. She was already seated at a table when I walked in, wearing a suit for the first time in months. She looked up at the sound of the door, glanced briefly my way and then averted her eyes. She didn't even recognise me, which didn't really surprise me. I walked over to the table and placed my hands on the back of the chair opposite her.

"Catherine, it's me."

She jerked her head up and her eyes widened in shock. "Kyle!"

"Uh...yeah." I pulled the chair out and sat down a little uncomfortably. "You're not going to run away, are you?"

"No, of course not, I just...how...?"

"Long story. It was an accident," I said - the same thing I had initially told Lindy.

"I'm sorry," Catherine said.

"Don't be, I can live with it. Can I get you something?"

"I already ordered some coffees, I remembered what you like. I hope that's okay."

"That's great, thanks," I nodded. We made small-talk while we waited for the drinks and I quickly learned that Catherine was unhappy working for my father, although she hadn't been too keen on working for me either. She admitted she had looked for alternative jobs for a while, but been unsuccessful in securing a position.

"I'm sorry I made things difficult for you," I said. "I'm guessing you won't want to give it another shot by coming to work for me again, then."

"I didn't say that. You weren't as bad as Rob." She giggled suddenly. "You seem different."

"I had to change after...this." I indicated my face. I went on to detail more of what I had planned and Catherine listened with obvious interest. She liked the philosophy of 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' that I had stolen from Edward and thought more natural models would be very popular in some avenues. By the time we parted an hour later, she had decided she didn't need to think about my offer. She planned to hand in her resignation to Dad the following morning and would start working for me in thirty days' time. In the meantime, I had to do it all myself.

I would have loved to sign up Lindy, but I doubted I could get her out of her contract. I did ring her though and tell her that there would be a position for her when it came to an end, assuming my business survived that long.

I began spending part of my days at the new office. I had decided on both a mobile phone and landline for the business and so far, other than calls from utility providers and other such companies, I had no response to the ad which was now in both a major London newspaper and on the Internet, but I told myself to give it time. Zola repeatedly told me how impressed she was that I was getting on and doing something with myself and Dad rang me once and bawled at me for offering Catherine a job in direct conflict with his own business.

"I won't be in competition with you as such," I said. "You'll see soon enough."

He cursed and hissed, furious that I'd used his money to set up another modelling business, although I thought of some of it as my money anyway. I'd worked hard enough when I was part of it. I hung up the phone with a smug smile and prayed that someone would respond to the bloody ad so that the man didn't have to watch me fail.

The next day I did receive an enquiry. An eighteen-year-old girl emailed me through the news website, attaching a photo and a rather self-deprecating message, telling me that she longed to be a model, but she didn't think she had much of a chance. She wanted to have one try before she put it behind her. I enlarged the picture on the screen and studied her closely. She was blonde and very pretty with large blue eyes and a voluptuous figure. I would guess at a size 14 and probably 38B up top and I caught myself almost laughing before I reminded myself I wasn't that person any more. What was the point of Kyle's Beauties? I wasn't looking for the next size zero Kate Moss - I was looking for the girl next door, the housewife, the average young Mum.

I started again and re-read the email. Her name was Mercy Braithwaite, short for Mercedes. She hated her Christian name and would be happy if I wanted to change it to something else. She was single, lived with her mother, had finished school six months before and wasn't academically gifted. She was good at art, liked to swim and detailed her statistics at the bottom, which told me I had made a good guess. I took another look at the photo and then printed both it and the email before clipping them together. Then I hit 'reply' on the screen and began to type.

"Mercy, thank you for your application. I'd be very interested to meet you to discuss your options. Please attend the office at 2pm on 1 November - if the date or time is not convenient, let me know by email.

"I want you to wear..." I paused and deleted this line. That was the old Kyle. Instead, I added, "I look forward to meeting you. Kind regards, Kyle Kingson." I clicked 'send' and then spent some time making calls to some of the contacts I still had from Kingsons. I spoke to two clothing catalogues and a perfume brand, beginning by dropping my name and explaining that Dad and I had branched away from each other with me exploring a different area of the market. One of the catalogues was immediately interested and I recalled that Kingsons hadn't worked with them in a year, due to their requirement for more average-looking girls. So far so good.

I checked my emails once again before leaving the office and discovered a reply from Mercy Braithwaite, expressing her delight about the meeting and promising to be prompt. I had made a start and suddenly I was excited about something for the first time in weeks.

The next couple of weeks flew by. Suddenly a flood of emails hit my inbox, from both girls and boys who were interested in modelling and also from a couple of contacts Dad and I had supplied models for in the past. I spent longer and longer in the office each day, wishing Catherine could join me immediately. However, since I'd told her I wanted her as more of a manager than a PA, I decided we would need a secretary at the very least. I spoke to Lindy about it and much to my delight, the solution was found without me even having to advertise. Lindy told me that Katie had returned to work after her couple of days off to discover that her company had gone into administration and that all of the staff were out of a job. They had been given redundancy in lieu of notice, but the amounts paid weren't as much as they should have been due to the company's financial situation. Katie was desperately applying for every job available to find a way to pay her rent. She had been employed as a PA to a financial adviser and as Lindy reeled off her list of skills, I quickly made my mind up and asked for her phone number.

The following day, Katie was seated at the other desk in the office, wearing a skirt suit and blouse, answering my phone and emails, and I'd promised to pay her weekly so that she wouldn't have a difficult month before the first payday. I was able to relax and carry out the many meetings she set up for me with the models and then concentrate on finding work for each of those that I took on. By the time Kyle's Beauties closed down for Christmas week, Catherine was with me too and we had eight models on the books - six girls and two boys, four of which had catalogue jobs to look forward to immediately after the New Year, two for makeup ads, one for a new brand of washing-up liquid and the other for an insurance company. All of them were beautiful in one way or another although the old Kyle wouldn't have thought so.

I was beginning to feel very self-satisfied with what I'd achieved so far and when Zola invited me to spend Christmas Day with her family, I accepted, which was something I never would have considered in the past. I would have thought spending any time with her beneath me and the memory of who I had been continued to make me shudder when I dwelled on it for too long. Perhaps Kendra had done me a favour after all. I might still struggle to look at myself in the mirror and I still longed desperately and fruitlessly for Edward, but people liked me. I had real friends - Lindy and Catherine and Katie. My models respected me and Zola was more like a mother figure to me than a housekeeper. I'd given her a generous Christmas bonus and bought gifts for her three children, then spent an hour talking to her sixteen-year-old, Anthony, about a boy he liked and how he didn't have a clue how to approach him. I found myself telling him about Edward and the first awkward time when we'd seen each other in the nightclub, standing staring at each other and neither one managing to speak.

I spent New Year's Eve with Lindy and Katie, partying and watching the fireworks on the Thames. I had bought each of them a new coat for Christmas and they were both wearing them, coupled with hats and scarves to protect against the sub-zero temperatures. I had on one of my old hoodies under my jacket, although I didn't bother trying to hide within it any more. I was no longer concerned with what anyone thought and with a pretty girl hanging onto each arm, the people who looked our way obviously thought I must have something going for me.

After the celebrations ended I took the girls out for a midnight feast at a restaurant that had decided to stay open all night and then escorted each of them home before I returned to my flat just before five o'clock. I felt more positive than I had in a long time and I fell into bed and slept until my alarm woke me at ten, reminding me that I'd agreed to have lunch with Zola's family again. I stayed for most of the afternoon and by the time I went home it was dark. I considered opening a bottle of something to accompany me through the evening, but then decided not to bother. I would be back at the office at eight the next morning and I didn't want a hangover.

When I went to bed I opened the window a crack, the way I always did despite the cold and then huddled under the double-weight duvet wearing flannel pyjamas and socks, wondering again where Edward was as he started the New Year. Did he even think about me any more? I wished I could just move on and I decided I would at least try going on a date with someone to see if it would help me forget him. I was no longer concerned with the spell - I had three weeks left before my birthday and it was clear that I'd run out of time, but I was used to my new self and it hadn't affected my ability to run a business or make friends in recent months.

I drifted into sleep eventually and when I woke, I was completely buried beneath the duvet, head and all. I pushed the heavy cover down a little and immediately felt the cold in the room on my face, in addition to a strange but familiar feeling of being watched. I was lying with my back to the window and the rocking chair, but the nape of my neck began to tingle and I was almost certain that if I turned around, I would discover that I wasn't alone. I lay still, my heart racing, wondering if Kendra had decided to pay me another visit. I twisted my head around, but quickly established that the rocking chair was empty. However, it seemed to be moving gently and the gap in the curtains showed me that the window was open wide. Kendra didn't need to use the window. I sat bolt upright suddenly, my already rapid pulse racing faster.

"Edward?" I sprang out of the bed and went to the window, peering out into the darkness. I knew I had left the window open only a couple of inches, but now it was wide enough for someone to have climbed through. There was a thick frost on the balcony and I could see a small area on the railing where the white fur had been brushed off, as if someone had briefly rested their hand on it. My blood thundered in my ears and I could hear myself panting. He was back! It had to be him. Who else would creep through my bedroom window and watch me sleep, then vanish at the speed of sound?

I backed away from the window, pulling it almost closed again and diving back into the warmth of the bed, shivering. If he was back, why hadn't he woken me? Had things gone back to the way they were at the beginning? Was he nervous, wondering if I'd forgotten about him and moved on? Was he wondering if I had found someone else? Endless questions flooded my brain and I knew I wasn't going to sleep any more. I tried to convince myself that I might have dreamed the whole thing, but I was too full of hope and excitement to quite accept that. If he'd been to see me once, surely he would come again. Perhaps if I tried to stay awake the next night, the way I had once before many months ago, he would come and we could talk.

The next evening I opened the bedroom window as soon as it grew dark as usual, then sat in the living room reading, the TV silent so that I would hear the slightest sound. I finally went to bed at eleven-thirty and lay awake with my heart pounding, too alert and full of anticipation to sleep until exhaustion eventually took me in the early hours of the morning. I woke to the sound of my alarm, disappointed, and when I looked out onto the balcony I found no evidence of a visitor in the now two-inch deep fall of snow which had settled on everything. My heart sank and I closed the window and went to have a shower and get ready for work. Perhaps I really had imagined it and the moving rocking chair, the sense of being watched and the mark in the frost had only been coincidence or wishful thinking.

Two more days passed and nothing else happened. It was the weekend and I spent Friday night out with Lindy and Katie, eating junk food and going to the cinema. The girls wanted to see a new horror film about vampires and I watched with only half of my attention, cringing when one of the creatures was burned in the sunlight. It brought back vivid memories of Edward's agony and I got through the remaining half hour of the film only by letting my thoughts drift and trying not to look at the screen.

By the time I returned home it was almost midnight and I fell into bed and slept. When I opened my eyes again it still felt like the middle of the night and I had the sensation of being watched. I lay still with my eyes closed, my pulse quickening, trying to keep my breathing steady even though I knew Edward would immediately know I was awake, if he was in fact in the room. Carefully I let one eyelid lift to see the heavy curtains moving slightly and the room empty. I rose and went to the window, finding tell-tale footprints on the balcony and on the first few steps downwards that I could see when I leaned out.

"Edward!" I called out softly. "If it's you, please come back and talk to me!" I could remember doing this exact same thing before we really got to know each other. I had called out for him and one of my neighbours had leaned out of his window and bellowed at me to shut up. Just as before, there was no answer and I returned to bed disappointed, but I was now certain that it was him. What I didn't know, was why he wouldn't stay and talk. I found my phone and tried his old number, even though I suspected it would be pointless and just as I expected, I received the same 'out of service' message that I'd heard after he first left.

"Please come back and be with me," I whispered to the empty room. I had been trying to convince myself I was moving on, with work and my new friends at the very least, even considering trying a date, but now I knew I'd been fooling myself. I longed for him with a passion and once again I began going over and over in my mind the things that had happened between us - the way we talked and cuddled and kissed, the way his hands and mouth felt on me, the way he felt when I touched his cock and inside him. I pushed my pyjama bottoms down and masturbated, imagining that he was with me, crouching between my legs and sucking me into his icy mouth. I came hard and quickly came down to earth with a thump when I remembered he still hadn't made any attempt to talk to me. I wondered if things would ever get back to the way they had been.

I didn't do a great deal on Saturday except a little work on the laptop I had brought home from the office. The next couple of weeks would be busy with photo shoots and attending TV studios with some of the models - something I had never done before, but was keen to take an active part in now. I no longer wanted to be aloof and unapproachable and Catherine had assured me that the models would appreciate my presence and support. However, I had the weekend to mostly relax although I found the time dragging, my mind constantly on Edward. I decided to try staying awake again that night in case he came back. I still hadn't actually seen him and I longed to, even if it was only a glimpse.

I went to bed early, leaving the window open a crack as usual, and lay facing it, the duvet pulled up around my ears. If he came, he would know immediately that I was awake, but I prayed he would stick around and explain why he had resorted to creeping into my room to watch me sleep. An hour passed and then another. I could see the time displayed by the luminous hands on the little clock beside the bed. It was approaching midnight and my heart had been beating unevenly ever since I got into bed. I was beginning to feel sleepy, but was determined not to let myself drift off. If he came, surely it would be soon.

Almost as if he had heard me, suddenly I heard the squeak the window made when it was opened wide and the curtain moved, either in the breeze or from someone brushing against it. I held my breath, watching through half-closed eyes as he slipped into the room and then froze, eyes wide and staring straight at me.

"Edward," I said softly. "Don't run away again."

"I...uh...sorry...I..." he stammered.

I pushed back the duvet slowly and sat up. "Will you close the window, please? It's freezing in here."

"Uh...okay." He hesitated a moment and then closed the window firmly, pulling the curtains closed in front of it and then hovering, tugging one hand through his hair. "Why do you...uh...sleep with it open if you're so cold?"

"In case you came back," I said at once. "I missed you. Why are you doing this again? Watching me sleep and then leaving?"

"I didn't know if you'd appreciate me being here. I thought you'd moved on. I saw you on New Year's Eve with two girls. You looked happy, as if you were having fun, doing normal things. I just...I suppose I couldn't keep away, even then."

"Edward, those girls are my friends," I said. "The blonde, Katie, works for me. The brunette, Lindy, is just a friend. I told her about you. I mean, not about what you are, obviously, but that I met you and how I felt when you left." I stopped, realising I was babbling. "Please come and sit down. Are you back in London for good? Is your family here?"

"Yes, we're all here." He sighed heavily and sat down on the bed, cross-legged and facing me. "They're not very happy with me at the moment."

"Were they ever?"

"Not since I met you, no. I think they're more worried about me than they were before. I...uh...another reason I haven't stayed and talked to you is...um..." Again he raked his fingers through his hair, avoiding my eyes. "After what happened the last time, I thought you'd be glad I was gone. I almost killed you and a day hasn't passed since without me cursing myself for it. It was all my fault. I knew I needed to leave, but I kept telling myself just another five minutes would be okay. Then it was too late. I'm sorry, Kyle."

"It doesn't matter," I said at once. "You were horribly injured and I couldn't stand it. I told you to feed from me."

"That didn't mean I should have done it and then...I couldn't stop." He groaned and shook his head. "I haven't been able to forgive myself. I should go."

"Please don't. I haven't stopped thinking about you in the last few months." I reached out to grasp one of his hands and gripped it firmly, feeling the familiar cold firmness of his flesh. "I want you, Edward."

"Really?" He raised his eyes to my face at last, his expression doubtful. "Did you ever really...? I mean...uh...never mind. So...what now?"

"I want things to go back to the way they were," I said firmly. "There's no one else, Edward. All I want is you."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Edward didn't stay long that night. He seemed awkward and uncomfortable and wouldn't lie down with me. He sat cross-legged, holding my hand for a while, but he didn't seem to know what to say to me and avoided my eyes most of the time. I was disappointed that things had changed so much since the last time we saw each other and when he rose swiftly and said he had to leave, I threw back the bed covers and got up.

"Wait! You are coming back, aren't you?"

"Of course," he said quietly.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I grasped both of his hands and tugged him toward me. His eyes were down, almost closed and I noticed a slight tremble in his lips. I released his hands and slid my arms around his waist instead, stroking my hands over his lower back.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm okay," he murmured.

"It seems like you don't really want to be here."

His eyes lifted to mine at this. His were black and I was puzzled. He wasn't thirsty or angry or aroused, which only left one other emotion - hurt. "I do want to be here," he said. "More than anything."

"Then stay for a while. And tell me what's bothering you. Don't tell me 'nothing', Edward, I know enough about you to know that's not true."

"I just...uh...I wish things had been different. I'm scared I'll hurt you again. I'm worried that things can't be the way they were before." He licked his lips and lowered his eyes again. I'd never seen him look so unhappy, except perhaps when I'd _heard_ him when I woke to find myself having a blood transfusion. He'd been sobbing as if his heart would break.

"I don't want things to be the way they were before," I said. "I want them to be better. You came back because you wanted me, didn't you?"

"Maybe it was a mistake." He pulled out of my arms and drifted to the window. "Maybe my...uh..." He breathed out shakily. "Maybe my family were right."

"Edward!" I gasped, but I found myself staring through a gap in the curtains at the open window. He was gone. "What the hell?" I muttered.

I stood staring after him until the cold became too much and I was forced to pull the window closed and get back into bed. I was stunned and upset by his odd and distant behaviour. I went over and over the last hour in my head and realised that he'd seemed strange since he first arrived. It was almost as if he was telling himself he wanted to be with me when he really didn't and so he tried to act as if he did. I shuddered at the thought - it was exactly the way I had behaved when I first met him, or at least how I had intended to behave. It hadn't quite worked out like that because he had used his ability to entice me and then I'd fallen for him anyway. Now it was me who was hurt and I didn't even know why.

I barely slept for the rest of the night. I tossed and turned restlessly, unable to stop thinking about Edward and by the time I got up I felt like hell. I was tired and irritable and my head ached. I was still confused and longing to see him and find out what was really going on, but all I could do was wait and hope he'd return that night. In the meantime I pulled myself together as best I could and spent some time working out. Later I went for a walk with Lindy and Midge, but I didn't tell her yet that Edward was back. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that he might think better of it and I didn't want to tempt fate by voicing it. Instead I returned home at four o'clock as dusk fell and stayed in for the evening, heating up one of the meals Zola had left in the freezer for me.

I wasn't sure what time Edward would show up, if he in fact came at all. Months ago he had arrived a couple of hours after dusk, but the sun hadn't set until the late evening back then. Now it was pitch dark by five, but London was still teeming with people. I made sure the bedroom window was open a crack and tried to occupy myself with the TV, but nothing held my attention for very long. I continually strained my ears for the creak of the floorboard outside the living room door, but I didn't hear it. Eventually I went to the kitchen to get a can of coke from the fridge and when I returned, Edward was sitting on the end of the sofa in the spot I'd just vacated. His feet were planted a little way apart, forearms resting on his knees and hands dangling between them.

My heart leapt into my mouth and I almost dropped the coke. I put it down quickly on the coffee table and wiped my hands on my jeans. His eyes were a deep red, lips almost the same colour in his pale face. I stood still, not sure what to do or say. He moved one arm and stroked his hand over the edge of the cushion he was sitting on.

"This is new."

"Yeah. I...uh...I got rid of a lot of the furniture. My Dad bought everything before I moved in and I never liked it."

"The curtains match."

I realised for the first time that the sofa, armchair and footstool and also the heavy velvet curtains were all blood red and I wondered if I'd chosen that shade, sub-consciously reminded of Edward's eyes.

"I got heavier ones with a lining. I thought if you ever came back, they'd keep the sun out. Just in case."

"You really wanted me to come back?"

"Edward, I never stopped thinking about you," I averred, finally going to sit down beside him. I picked his hand up from the cushion and held it in both of mine. "I left the window open every night. I called and called, even when your phone message said the number was out of service. I wondered where you were, if you were still in England or somewhere else."

"We were in France. I'll give you my new number," he said softly. "I'm sorry about last night. I'm still a little...unsure about this."

"You weren't before you went away," I reminded him.

"I know, but things are different now."

"Are they? Do you feel the same way you did then? I can tell you that I do."

He blanched suddenly and pulled his hand free. "Are you sure you want me here? Wouldn't it be better for you to be with someone else? Someone human?"

"I considered it," I admitted. "My friend Lindy told me her friend was interested in me. I have to admit it shocked me. Her friend is the other girl you saw me with on New Year's Eve - the blonde, Katie, who works for me now. It was the first time I'd seen her and I couldn't really believe anyone would look twice at me, least of all someone who looked like her. Lindy asked if I'd meet her, but I couldn't do it. I told her about you instead. After Christmas I thought I should try to at least have a date with somebody because I thought you weren't coming back, but I still couldn't do it. I care about you, Edward. I want you in my life, for as long as I can have you."

"You really mean that?" he asked doubtfully.

"I really mean it. Why is it so hard for you to believe me?"

I gasped as he changed position in the blink of an eye. Suddenly I was pressed against the back of the sofa and he was on my lap, one knee either side of mine and his hands around my neck.

"Sometimes words are just words. Show me instead."

My racing heart quickened its pace, slamming against my ribs as I slid my arms around him, tugging him closer until his body pressed tight against mine. He was trembling slightly and I ran my hands up his back and down, then pulled his shirt free from his trousers and slipped a hand beneath it. He was faintly warm and I traced circles over his spine, feeling shivers run through him, his fingers digging into the back of my neck as he held on tighter to me. I lifted my other hand to his face and stroked my thumb over his lower lip, then cupped his cheek and brought his mouth down to mine.

He tasted just as I remembered - cool and sweet and intoxicating. I caressed his lips slowly until a quiet moan escaped him and then I thrust my tongue in, plunging deep into his mouth and exploring, our teeth bumping together and crushing our lips. Edward was instantly hard - I could feel his erection pressing against my belly and blood rushed to my groin in response. My cock stiffened and strained uncomfortably behind the fly of my jeans. I lowered my hand from Edward's back to his ass and squeezed the firm flesh. He gyrated on my lap, the base of his cock rubbing against mine. He was breathing hard through his nose the same way I was, soft groans and whimpers coming from him at intervals. I remembered the first time we had really got close and he had cum in his underwear and it brought my attention to the fact that I was getting alarming close to doing exactly that myself, just from a few minutes of heated kisses.

I broke the kiss, panting, and looked up into his now black eyes. His red lips were parted as he breathed steadily and needlessly, his chest moving rhythmically up and down. I lifted my hands to unfasten his shirt buttons and he slid backward a few inches to give me more room. Another minute and I pushed the garment from his shoulders and ran my hands over his chest, drawing my nails through his soft chest hair. I captured both nipples between finger and thumb, twisting and pinching while he squirmed on my lap, head thrown back and his lip now caught between his teeth. I moved my hands around to his back and leaned forward, circling one pebbled nub with my tongue and then biting gently. Edward moaned loudly and clutched my neck more firmly, his whole body trembling.

"Harder," he whispered.

I dug my teeth in, reminding myself that I couldn't hurt him. I released the nipple after a moment and swiped my tongue over it, then turned my attention to the other, giving it the same rough treatment and causing a deeper groan to rumble up from Edward's chest.

"God, Kyle, you have to stop," he panted. "I'm too close."

I gave the hard nub a gentle lick and then pressed a kiss to the centre of his chest while I began to fumble with his belt buckle. My own hands were shaking and it took me a moment to release the buckle and undo the clasp at the waistband of his trousers. Then the zip finally slid down and his erection pushed out of the opening, loosely restrained by white cotton boxers. I ran my palm lightly over the bulge, feeling it throb and twitch, then traced the head with my forefinger. The damp fabric clung and Edward moaned and pushed my hand off quickly.

"I need to calm down."

"No, you need to cum," I grinned. "Let me touch you?"

"It'll take seconds." He gave me a slightly embarrassed smile and backed away, sliding off my lap and getting to his feet.

"We've got plenty of time," I said.

"Yeah."

I peeled off my tee shirt while I watched him, toeing off his shoes and pushing his trousers down his legs until they pooled around his feet. His erection was tenting his underwear obscenely and after a brief hesitation he pushed those down too and as he straightened up, his cock slapped against his belly, thick and white, the pink tip glistening with precum.

"Fuck," I muttered, rising quickly to get rid of my jeans. They were crushing me and I ached for him to touch me too, although my priority was to make him enjoy himself. Suddenly the odd tension and his apparent unhappiness had disappeared and it was like it had been before - just two horny boys desperate to make each other cum. I pulled my socks off, noticing Edward doing the same and then I quickly shed the last item - my underwear - and reached out to pull him close to me again.

We remained on our feet holding each other loosely, our bodies resting against each other. I could feel the coolness of Edward's shaft throbbing against the heat of mine and I breathed slowly, trying to force back my impending orgasm. I knew I could cum just from the feel of him and I was tempted to rub against him a little and let go, but I wanted to give him more than that. I wanted to give him something he had given me a few times before he left, that I had never tried.

"Lie down," I murmured, stepping away from him.

He moved surprisingly slowly, lowering himself onto the sofa and stretching out on his back, one knee slightly raised and his hands resting behind his head. I stayed where I was for a minute, letting my eyes drink him in. There was still a faint flush to his cheeks, his wild hair sticking up in all directions, eyes shiny black and hooded with desire. His lips were parted as he breathed, chest moving rapidly with each breath. I took in the muscles in his arms and chest, similar in size to my own, soft light brown hair beneath his arms and the narrow trail of the same shade leading south to his groin. His cock rested against his belly, impossibly hard, twitching and leaking, the head flushed a deeper shade of pink than I'd ever seen it.

Suddenly he removed a hand from behind his head and rested his forearm across his eyes, his lips quirking up at one side into his familiar crooked smile. "God, Kyle, stop looking, you're embarrassing me."

"I'm sorry." I dropped to my knees beside the sofa and rested my hand on his thigh. "You just look...so beautiful."

He let out a quiet giggle. "You need an eye test."

"Shut up. Just enjoy." I stroked my hand down his leg to his ankle and then back up, allowing my fingers to trail along the inside of his thigh and watching as the firm flesh quivered under my touch and his cock rose a couple of inches from his belly. A bead of precum oozed slowly from his slit and formed a silvery trail down to his stomach. I slid my hand up over his hip to his stomach and caught a little of it, then brought it to my lips, surprised by his taste. It didn't have the sourness of my own, but was more sweet, the way his lips tasted but with a salty tang. I got up again, realising I wasn't going to be able to get to him from where I was sitting. The sofa was wide and there was easily room for me to crouch between his thighs. I pushed them apart and kneeled on the cushion between them. Edward removed the arm from across his face and looked at me, allowing his leg to fall off the side of the couch so that he was spread wide.

"What are you going to do?"

"Something I never had the chance to try before."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." I ran both hands along his thighs and rubbed my thumbs over his hip bones. He closed his eyes again and breathed raggedly, tucking his hand behind his head again, the muscles in his arms tightening. Slowly I lifted my right hand and wrapped it around his shaft, lifting it until it stood up at right angles to his body. He shuddered at my touch and pushed his hips up from the cushions, trying to thrust into my hand. I pressed him back down with the other hand and stroked my fingers along his length a few times, making him groan and shiver. His hands came out from behind his head and clenched into fists at his sides and his teeth bit hard into his lower lip. I bent forward, my heart racing, and extended my tongue to touch his tip, tasting him again, more strongly than when I'd licked a droplet from my finger.

"Oh, fuck," he hissed. His balls were tight against his body and I cupped them with my free hand, tugging firmly until he relaxed and let out a shaky breath. He wasn't going to last long, probably a minute or two at most. I circled the head of his cock with the tip of my tongue and then dipped into his slit, capturing the oozing fluid. He moaned and squirmed, thighs quivering as I finally drew the flushed pink head of his cock into my mouth and closed my lips around it. After a brief hesitation I ducked lower, taking more of him in, but almost gagging, unused to the sensation of having something in my mouth that I wasn't eating. I concentrated on sucking only on the head while I slid my hand up and down more firmly, rolling his balls around in the palm of the other and squeezing them between my fingers.

"Kyle...stop...fuck...unh...I'm..." Edward stuttered. The base of his cock pulsed in my hand, but I didn't pull off. I held his tip on my tongue as he flooded my mouth in long spurts, gulping rapidly in my efforts not to spill. I only released his softening organ when he breathlessly protested that it had become too sensitive. I sat up slowly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, suddenly a little embarrassed myself.

"Fuck...that was..." Edward laughed and panted at the same time. "Amazing."

I remembered that no one had so much as touched him before me and that he had just experienced his first blow job. I grinned and my erection twitched against my belly, reminding me that I was still aching and desperate to cum. I grasped it and gave it a few idle tugs until Edward sat up suddenly, pushing my hand off myself.

"Let me."

I unfolded my legs and sat down at the opposite end of the sofa to Edward, leaning back against the arm and spreading my legs open the same way he had done. He turned around and kneeled between my feet, hands either side of my hips, leaning forward to kiss me. I lifted my hand to touch his face, finding his skin a little cooler now and he licked into my mouth suddenly, sweeping his tongue over my own and teasing the roof of my mouth, another moan issuing from him before he drew back again. He glanced up at me through lowered lashes and smiled crookedly, then ran his tongue along his lower lip.

"Oh, you like the taste of yourself?" I teased.

"Uh huh." He sat back on his haunches and bent over me, finally grasping my aching cock in his hand and rolling the foreskin back to expose the head. His tongue quickly circled the crown and I rolled my head back, groaning at the sensation. I was already alarmingly close and the feel of his cold hand stroking me and the moist coolness of his tongue pushed me rapidly towards orgasm.

"Fuck," I gasped, clenching my fists the way Edward had done. I struggled to control my breathing in an effort to hold off. It had been too long since that one time I'd felt his mouth on me and I knew I was going to disgrace myself even more quickly than he had done. I blew my breath out shakily and then sucked it in hard as he ducked his head and swallowed my length to the hilt, his nose dipping into my cropped pubic hair.

"Christ, Edward, I'm gonna cum!" I blurted.

He chuckled softly around my cock, his throat vibrating and only adding to the sensation of his lips and tongue teasing me, teeth scraping every so gently along my shaft as he released me all the way to the tip and then plunged down again. His hands played with my balls and stroked the insides of my thighs and I trembled all over in my efforts not to cum. I wanted to enjoy it for just a little bit longer, but I couldn't stop myself from bucking my hips upward, thrusting myself firmly back into Edward's throat.

"Sorry," I panted, trying to hold still. He didn't seem to have a gag reflex, but even so I was concerned I may cause him to choke. I had forgotten that he didn't need to breathe, but then I felt his hands slide under my ass, encouraging me to begin fucking his mouth. I pushed up rhythmically, loud groans and curses issuing from me without pause for the minute or two it took me to lose control completely. My balls tightened and my spine tingled, then Edward's hands were squeezing my ass and pulling me up, deeper into the cold cavern of his mouth and throat. I jerked erratically and emptied in rapid spurts, immediately feeling Edward swallowing around me, continuing until I was drained and begging him to stop the way he had done with me. He lowered me back onto the cushions and sat up, licking his lips.

"Was it okay?"

"Fuck, Edward, are you kidding me?" I panted.

He smiled and backed away, suddenly appearing shy. Perhaps he felt embarrassed the way I had a few minutes before. Panting and shaking, I pulled myself up and turned around, stretching out along the length of the sofa and pulling him down with me. He snuggled into my arms and pressed his face into my neck with a soft sigh and I hugged him tight, relishing the cool feel of him against my over-heated skin.

We lay together for a little while until I could breathe enough to speak again. I could still feel some tension in Edward as he lay in my arms and I stroked my hand lightly over his back before combing my fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp. He writhed, cat-like, and groaned softly, brushing cold lips along my neck.

"You're not still worrying about us, are you?" I murmured.

"No." He sounded doubtful and he stopped moving, his mouth pressed to the point on my neck where he had bitten me previously.

"Maybe I just haven't spent enough time showing you yet," I added. He mumbled something that I couldn't make out and I tucked my hand under his chin, prying his face out of my neck to make him look at me. "Edward?"

"This feels so good. I don't want it to end again." His eyes were still black as they met mine and I stroked his cheek, then slid my hand to the back of his neck.

"Why would it?"

"I don't know. Maybe you'll...change your mind."

"I won't," I said at once. "Do you really think that?"

"I don't know." He sighed softly. "It all went wrong before."

"It won't this time. We'll be more careful. If you want to stay with me, I'll set my alarm to go off when it's still dark and we'll keep the curtains closed tight. I won't let anything happen to you, Edward, I promise."

"That wasn't what I..." He broke off and snuggled closer again. "Never mind. I just want to enjoy the time we have."

I was puzzled by some of the things he'd said since he arrived. He seemed convinced that we only had a limited time before it was over, or that something else bad would happen. I'd had enough doubts of my own when I was with him before, but I hadn't realised how hard I would fall or how much it would hurt when he was no longer around. I didn't want anything to come between us this time. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him exactly how I felt - not in the hopes that he might reciprocate because that was now the furthest thing from my mind. What I wanted was for him to see how much he meant to me and to stop worrying that he would get hurt, but for some reason I held back. It just didn't seem like the right time so say words I'd never said before to anyone. Instead, I pushed him away from me a little and sat up, grasping his hand and lacing our fingers together.

"Come with me. I thought of something I know you'll like."

"What is it?" He got to his feet and followed me into the bathroom. I let go of him and leaned into the large shower cubicle to turn the water on. I thought he would probably like it as hot as possible and I set the heat for the highest I could stand, then waited until steam began to fill the bathroom before I stepped in and beckoned him in after me. He pulled the door closed behind him, immediately looking more relaxed as he smiled at me. I picked up the bottle of shower gel I kept on the corner shelf and squeezed some out, lathering it up in my hands before applying it to Edward's chest. I soaped him lazily, stroking my hands in circles while he gave soft appreciate sounds, eyes half closed and face turned up under the cascading hot water.

I found I was getting enormous pleasure out of making him feel good and again the last thing on my mind was my own needs. Edward was relishing every minute of the heat and my hands and I continued with what I was doing, washing him from head to foot, ignoring his cock until it was rigid again, quivering against his stomach and begging to be touched. Then I grasped it in one soapy hand and slid my other arm around me, pressing my fingers into the crack of his ass and brushing them back and forth over his hole. He groaned and trembled, his body writhing under my hands as he attempted to thrust his cock into my fist and at the same time push himself back onto my fingers. I tightened my grip to the point where it would have been painful if I were touching myself and at the same time gently pressed one finger into him. He clutched at me and lowered his head to press his brow against my shoulder, a deep groan leaving him as I probed deeper into him. I wished I had lube in the bathroom, but I didn't seem to be causing him any discomfort and so I carried on, fucking him with one finger while I stroked his throbbing erection harder.

"Oh, God...Kyle, you're going to make me cum again," he moaned.

"I hope so," I grinned.

"Fuck." His teeth sank into my shoulder, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to hurt. I withdrew my finger from him and squeezed out more shower gel, thinking that it would be better than nothing. It couldn't irritate him the way it might with a human. I lowered my hand again and pushed two fingers in, curling them upwards in search of his prostate and knowing I found it when he bit harder and let out a deeper, muffled groan. My cock throbbed in response to the sound of him, the feel of his mouth on me, his tight coldness squeezing my fingers and his shaft pulsing in my hand as he started to cum again. I felt the brief jet of coldness in my hand before the hot water washed it away and then he raised his head, shuddering and grimacing a little.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No." I glanced at my shoulder, noticing two neat rows of indentations from his teeth, relieved that his fangs had been retracted. He would have fled and probably never come back again if he'd lost control to that extent.

"I'm sorry. You weren't in any danger," he said.

"I know that, Edward, it's okay." I wrapped both arms around him and held him tight against me, my erection trapped between our bellies. "Feel what you do to me?"

He relaxed again and smiled. "Want me to do something about that?"

"Yeah." I leaned back against the wall, still holding onto him with one arm. "Just your hand," I said. He rested against my side, one arm around my shoulders, his cool mouth caressing my ear and my neck as his other hand circled my cock and began to stroke. I closed my eyes and just felt and enjoyed and thanked God he had come back.


End file.
